FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

I was raped a little over 20 years ago now. It was by someone I knew and trusted and it occurred in my own home. I was physically injured, concussed, ashamed, afraid, embarrassed - all the usual things.

I never reported it to the authorities and never spoke to anyone about it. I had never been a particularly social person, but afterwards I isolated myself completely other than heading off to work dutifully each day.

After 18 years of almost constant battles with anxiety, flashbacks, nightmares, triggers, etc, I finally sought help from a psychologist. Initially it was for pain management as I suffered a severe back injury about 2 years after the rape. So after almost 2 years of occasional appointments I finally told her during a particularly difficult time (anniversary) what had happened all those years ago.

So early last year I was officially diagnosed with PTSD. On my clinical psychologists advice I have undergone a series of Exposure Therapy and CBT last year. It was a long, arduous and extremely difficult process. However, it did help to some degree.

However the nightmares, anxiety symptoms, etc continued. This was probably made worse as last year was an extremely difficult one for me all round. My little 11yo niece was killed in a car accident, my brother seriously and permanently injured, I was retrenched from my job when the business was sold, and I found out that my husband was cheating on me again. So I guess none of that helped.

And then on 29th February this year it was the 20th anniversary of my trauma. It seemed to hit me even harder than usual, I dont know why. There just seemed to be triggering events around every corner, it was awful. I struggled very badly.

My psychologist decided to try EMDR treatment once things settled down a bit. She felt it would help with the emotional content of my traumatic memories. So between April and early September this year, I have undergone 10 2xhour EMDR sessions. I am now on a break to see how things are now.

But in the meantime she wants me to talk to people about what happened, as it is an important part of the recovery process she says. However I find this really hard as I do not have any friends (my hubby is a narsissist according to my psychologist). I have become very isolated other than for my part-time work which I was lucky enough to find in January. I do some volunteer work in the aged care industry, which I enjoy. But I just do not have any friends I am able to talk to. My family live a long way away, and I could never tell them anyway.

Although I am still unable to verbally speak about the rape, I can now write about it, and even think about it to some extent, without bringing on a panic attack. So that's progress. I hope that by discussing it further and by learning how other people cope with their PTSD symptoms, I can further desensitise myself from my traumatic memories.

Hence my decision to try an online forum. I look forward to responses from other people who have had similar experiences to myself. I am definitely more of a listener than a talker, so I hope that I may be able to be of assistance to others here as well.

Thankyou for taking the time to read my story.

2344 replies

1,331 - 1,340 of 2,344

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member

I hope you are safe and put some distance between you and the anger.

I dont believe you need to keep doing it if you are not appreciated. You can link him to local and council services.

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member are you ok my sister

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Really worried about you @Former-Member . 🖤🖤🖤

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Oh @Former-Member im sorry you're feeling like this. You do so much for your husband. It's not your fault you came home late. Pls stay safe. I'm thinking of you. Hugs and love ❤️🤗

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Shaz51@Zoe7@Former-Member@Adge@outlander@Owlunar@Maggie@Appleblossom@BlueBay@Corny @Molliex @Gazza75 @eth @CheerBear @Peri @Starta and anyone else reading along.

Firstly ... a big thank you. The last thing I intended to do on Thursday was to worry any of you. So I apologise for having dropped out of sight for a couple of days. I still have that very real fear that when I need support from my forum friends the most, that thats when it is taken away. Silly I know, but thats what has happened elsewhere in the past, and my brain just wont see past that. I go into a panic, then into self destruct mode. So I had to stay away for a bit.

Anyway ... I am much better now ... I feel safe again. I did have to get out on Thursday though, it would have been foolhardy of me to stay. I mentioned that I was in big trouble for getting back late from my GP appointment that day. You are all correct of course ... it was not my fault, and I had notified hubby by text that I would be late. In the end it was 6.30pm when I finally got home from my apt. Not only was my GP running very late, it was also a long apt. Last apt for the day I think, so he thought it wouldnt matter if we went a bit late. I had been booked in for a skin cancer check, and also to review some blood tests from last time I was in. Having had skin cancers cut out previously (a different Dr) I was told not to neglect my annual skin checks. Plus I am a redhead with very fair skin, so at risk of more cancers. So I had been remiss by leaving it well over 18 months. Anyway the good news was that he didnt find anything sinister by way of suspect skin cancers.

But it was an awkward session. During his examination, he asked me about a few bruises and a couple of old scars I have. Normally well hidden. I could explain the scars satisfactorily. But when he asked about a couple of bruises, I initially did not answer. Then he persisted and asked me how I got them. I just told him I couldnt recall, and that I bruise easily. That is partly true at least, because I do bruise easily I think. I am starting to wonder if my psych has reported something to him. I hope thats not the case, because I never gave her permission to pass on information I told her in confidence.

Anyway .. it ended up being a somewhat triggering appointment. So I wasnt in the best of places by the time I got home. And then I was hit with an onslaught of foul temper from hubby, followed by a string of threats and accusations. My anxiety went through the roof very quickly, and I felt very vulnerable and afraid. As I said, I had to get out that night. But I am back again now, and he is being very kind to me. He knows he needs me you see. And I know deep down, he doesnt intend to hurt me .. not emotionally, psychologically or physically. As Dec rightly says .. he is dealing with a lot. I cannot blame him for any of that. This is partly my fault ... my fault for being over sensitive, over anxious and fearful.

Anyway ... I do apologise if I worried anyone. I'm okay. But may be a little quiet for a while. I will be around when I can.

Sherry

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

It is not your fault @Former-Member, not even a little bit. While we can understand why people may act in certain ways, it does not excuse or justify the behaviour.

Stay safe. Here for you anytime x

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

It is absolutely not your fault in any way, shape or form @Former-Member Being sensitive or anxious does not equate to you deserving or precipitating the anger, aggression or threats - and his behaviour is not as a result of his illness ...it is his to own alone. No matter how sick someone is it is no excuse for being so nasty or abusive ...and yes he needs you more than you need him - and if he is going to continue to have your support and care then he needs to change his behaviour. You do not have to live in fear Hon and you do not have to continue to look after your husband if that is the position he is going to constantly place you in. You did the brave and wise thing getting out on Thursday Sherry - your safety is the most important and if that means leaving him to his own devices and having to deal with his own behaviour and health himself then so be it - no-one deserves what you have been going through and no-one deserves to be in constant fear. I do very much know how hard it is to just walk away from all that but you have taken a massive step to protect yourself this week and that shows immense courage. Continue to protect yourself in any way you can and make it clear that it is now on your terms that you stay otherwise he will be left to look after himself again. Take back the power Hon - you deserve so much better

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Dear @Former-Member ...It’s not your fault Lovely...Men like your hubby and my hubby, groom us from the very beginning of the relationship to makes us feel fearful...then because of being fearful it also makes us feel over sensitive, vulnerable and all sorts of inferiority’s towards ourself...

Be safe lovely Sherry...and look after you the best you can...your important dear Sherry...Sending you a picture I took of the sun setting at mine..I hope it brings you a little bit of peace...also sending you a blessing I would like to give you...

Starta...

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member

The most important thing is that you are alright. It sounds like your gp is thorough which is great. I believe you deserve respect from your hubby. I hope you find more ways to meet your needs, and dont need to excuse his bad behaviour as a problem with your personality.

Gently Gently

Thoughtful Redhead

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member So much I want to say, but it’s best not said. You have more than your share to deal with, that’s enough. 💜💜💛💛

Never ever will I agree it’s your fault though.

Just a note though. Years ago while saying similar to some of your own words to my then psych. She responded with, “ He knew exactly who he married”. And he did.

Stay safe @Former-Member . 💙💙💙

1,331 - 1,340 of 2,344