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Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

I was raped a little over 20 years ago now. It was by someone I knew and trusted and it occurred in my own home. I was physically injured, concussed, ashamed, afraid, embarrassed - all the usual things.

I never reported it to the authorities and never spoke to anyone about it. I had never been a particularly social person, but afterwards I isolated myself completely other than heading off to work dutifully each day.

After 18 years of almost constant battles with anxiety, flashbacks, nightmares, triggers, etc, I finally sought help from a psychologist. Initially it was for pain management as I suffered a severe back injury about 2 years after the rape. So after almost 2 years of occasional appointments I finally told her during a particularly difficult time (anniversary) what had happened all those years ago.

So early last year I was officially diagnosed with PTSD. On my clinical psychologists advice I have undergone a series of Exposure Therapy and CBT last year. It was a long, arduous and extremely difficult process. However, it did help to some degree.

However the nightmares, anxiety symptoms, etc continued. This was probably made worse as last year was an extremely difficult one for me all round. My little 11yo niece was killed in a car accident, my brother seriously and permanently injured, I was retrenched from my job when the business was sold, and I found out that my husband was cheating on me again. So I guess none of that helped.

And then on 29th February this year it was the 20th anniversary of my trauma. It seemed to hit me even harder than usual, I dont know why. There just seemed to be triggering events around every corner, it was awful. I struggled very badly.

My psychologist decided to try EMDR treatment once things settled down a bit. She felt it would help with the emotional content of my traumatic memories. So between April and early September this year, I have undergone 10 2xhour EMDR sessions. I am now on a break to see how things are now.

But in the meantime she wants me to talk to people about what happened, as it is an important part of the recovery process she says. However I find this really hard as I do not have any friends (my hubby is a narsissist according to my psychologist). I have become very isolated other than for my part-time work which I was lucky enough to find in January. I do some volunteer work in the aged care industry, which I enjoy. But I just do not have any friends I am able to talk to. My family live a long way away, and I could never tell them anyway.

Although I am still unable to verbally speak about the rape, I can now write about it, and even think about it to some extent, without bringing on a panic attack. So that's progress. I hope that by discussing it further and by learning how other people cope with their PTSD symptoms, I can further desensitise myself from my traumatic memories.

Hence my decision to try an online forum. I look forward to responses from other people who have had similar experiences to myself. I am definitely more of a listener than a talker, so I hope that I may be able to be of assistance to others here as well.

Thankyou for taking the time to read my story.

2344 replies

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In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member Thanks for posting your pic ... I love it. Desserts/Stressed 😂

@Maggie I love how you constantly support so many of us. Often saying very little, but meaning so much. 💖

@Faith-and-Hope Thank you so much, you have provided some very worthwhile advice, which I will take on board. And yes ... it does help ... very much. Ha ha .. grab my hubby by the ear. Yeah there are times I'd like to do much more than that. Same as yours! I think you may be right ... grief impacting everything else.

@Former-Member You dont need to say anything. I know you're there, as you always have been. And I know you'd do all in your power to help others, because thats what you do. But right now, you need to care for YOU first and foremost. I read of your difficulties re D, and also your fear that you are losing her. You wont lose her ... she loves you too much to let that happen. And she needs you too. It would be nice to think that you need each other and could lean upon each other during the difficult times.

@Shaz51 darling sweet natured Shaz. You always think the best of people dont you? Thats a lovely trait in anyone. But unfortunately it isnt always the case. With my hubby ... no he did not mean that I should not allow the rapist to so badly affect my mind now. He meant that I should not have permitted him to attack me in the first place. He said 'you're a strong woman, how did that happen'. He said what he meant and inferred that I actually let it happen. He's not taking into account the shock I was in that it was happening in the first instance, the fact I was stunned and dazed from his physical attack on me, the fact my attacker was a trained army reservist and thus strong wiry and determined, that I feared for my life. He does not understand any of that ... only that I 'allowed' it to happen.

@Zoe7 Yes I see my psych this morning, and need to head off in the next half hour or so. Had a sleepless night again last night, this time trying to work out what I can and what I cannot divulge to my psych today. Its hard knowing whats best. My head just isnt in the right place to know right now. Everything is just a jumbled up mess.

Thanks also to others who have pressed the 'support button' on my recent posts, but have not felt able to respond. I know you're there, I know you support me ... and I take comfort from knowing that. So thank you also to @eth @Gazza75 @Molliex @Bunniekins @Appleblossom @Owlunar @BlueBay @Peri @Starta

Sherry

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member Hey Sherry thank you :). I am always here for you. Even when all I can do is press the support button and listen.

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member

I could totally relate to your posts and have been exploring a lot of similar themes to get to the bottom of my own issues. Loved @Former-Member Stressed dessert pic ... will try and remind myself when things go skew whiff in the ED area.

1) I would be distancing significantly from husband if he cannot listen or believe you about the rape. He seems to be both Watching his cake on his plate and getting to eat ALL his cake too.

Recently I read an interesting article on pop psych site that I have not saved. How we use our heads and mouth is somewhat effected by the neurological wiring in our heads and how truama impacts us. They also used the idea of a circuit breaker but suggested using chewing gum ... as a repeated motion using the jaw ... but which I really dont like .... SOmeone once suggest internal mouth massage for some other issue, but now I am talking to you about it ... gently massaging inner mouth, gum, jaw and into TMJ.... I must start doing that more.

Hugs

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

hello @Former-Member

thank you for clearing that up for me , that makes me sad to know that your husband would even think that and worse to say it

my mr shaz say things to me too that i think " is he having a go at me "??

and i know he is having a go at me at times , and it is worse when other people start to notice it too

hugs my darling @Former-Member

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Thinking of you today with your psych appointment. Hope you could get the words out and it helped @Former-Member

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Dear @Former-Member

@it is so good to see you back here, even if you are being so down on yourself. But you did make me laugh a bit. Who has not downed a whole tub of ice cream. Or scoffed something. I certainly have done that. There are times when just a small bowl of the stuff won’t do. And times when I cant open a packet of crisps without finishing them. I also don’t eat when anxious. Now I don’t eat with depression either. I can also drink the wine to seek something, I also like the wine so it is not a hardship

you have had so much to contend with and so much still ongoing. Give yourself a break. If someone else was telling this story you would be full of empathy, not telling them they are horrid.. you have helped me so much and given me lots of support. I still am in really dark times and you have never told me to buck up or just get on. You are gentle and kind.

My mother died in 2005, I still think “ oh I will just call mum, then it will be alright”. But of course I can’t. These are fleeting thoughts, but very real at the time. I don’t think you ever stop missing your mother. And now you have your dear dad to worry about .

life is very tricky, I wish I was one of those people who did not respond the, way I do, but I can’t change that. I just have to try to get through. Please be kind to yourself and only post when you have the energy and motivation to do so. So many people care for you here

peri

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member 💕💜💕☕️☕️🐶🐶🐶

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Thinking of you @Former-Member

hope your session with your psych went ok and you were able to verbalise how you’re feeling.

Hugs and hugs ❤️❤️

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Hi Everyone,
My psych appointment last Thursday morning was really difficult, and took a heavy toll. As a result, I kind of shut down afterwards and have been off line for several days, until this arvo. I'm still feeling quite fragile, and I'm not ready to talk about some things we covered at that appointment just yet. But for my own sake, and at the urging of my psych, I need to come out of my self-imposed cocoon and interact with the outside world again. Gently goes it for now though.

Even though I hadn't logged on here for 3 days, I have been thinking of you all. I'd been checking email notifications daily, and very much appreciated your kind messages which came through in my absence ... @Bunniekins @Appleblossom @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @Peri @outlander @Maggie @BlueBay. As well as the support buttons from ... @Gazza75 @Owlunar @Former-Member @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope. It helped me knowing I wasn't entirely alone, in my dark little world. I'm slowly emerging from that place, although I may still be a bit quiet for a few more days. I'm trying my best to process some new information and advice ... which is proving to be difficult. But for now ... thank you everyone.

Sherry 🌹🍂🌾💕
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