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Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

I was raped a little over 20 years ago now. It was by someone I knew and trusted and it occurred in my own home. I was physically injured, concussed, ashamed, afraid, embarrassed - all the usual things.

I never reported it to the authorities and never spoke to anyone about it. I had never been a particularly social person, but afterwards I isolated myself completely other than heading off to work dutifully each day.

After 18 years of almost constant battles with anxiety, flashbacks, nightmares, triggers, etc, I finally sought help from a psychologist. Initially it was for pain management as I suffered a severe back injury about 2 years after the rape. So after almost 2 years of occasional appointments I finally told her during a particularly difficult time (anniversary) what had happened all those years ago.

So early last year I was officially diagnosed with PTSD. On my clinical psychologists advice I have undergone a series of Exposure Therapy and CBT last year. It was a long, arduous and extremely difficult process. However, it did help to some degree.

However the nightmares, anxiety symptoms, etc continued. This was probably made worse as last year was an extremely difficult one for me all round. My little 11yo niece was killed in a car accident, my brother seriously and permanently injured, I was retrenched from my job when the business was sold, and I found out that my husband was cheating on me again. So I guess none of that helped.

And then on 29th February this year it was the 20th anniversary of my trauma. It seemed to hit me even harder than usual, I dont know why. There just seemed to be triggering events around every corner, it was awful. I struggled very badly.

My psychologist decided to try EMDR treatment once things settled down a bit. She felt it would help with the emotional content of my traumatic memories. So between April and early September this year, I have undergone 10 2xhour EMDR sessions. I am now on a break to see how things are now.

But in the meantime she wants me to talk to people about what happened, as it is an important part of the recovery process she says. However I find this really hard as I do not have any friends (my hubby is a narsissist according to my psychologist). I have become very isolated other than for my part-time work which I was lucky enough to find in January. I do some volunteer work in the aged care industry, which I enjoy. But I just do not have any friends I am able to talk to. My family live a long way away, and I could never tell them anyway.

Although I am still unable to verbally speak about the rape, I can now write about it, and even think about it to some extent, without bringing on a panic attack. So that's progress. I hope that by discussing it further and by learning how other people cope with their PTSD symptoms, I can further desensitise myself from my traumatic memories.

Hence my decision to try an online forum. I look forward to responses from other people who have had similar experiences to myself. I am definitely more of a listener than a talker, so I hope that I may be able to be of assistance to others here as well.

Thankyou for taking the time to read my story.

2344 replies

1,031 - 1,040 of 2,344

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Hi everyone ... not tagging ... just thinking quietly for now. Zoe, I apologise for allowing your beautiful post to me last week go without comment. To be honest I had no reply ... your words do not reflect what I see of myself. Its as though they are about another person, not me. But I read them and think of the person they may be directed towards ... I like that person, or like the impression of the person you directed those lovely words towards.

To be honest, I have been reluctant to return here. I feel a little hunted lately, and dont feel safe putting everything out there in one place. Its hard, because I need to talk about things, but cannot bring myself to do so. I had hoped things would slowly improve, but instead .. they are going backwards. I've beeen physically and verbally threatened in the past few days, and I fear it will only get worse.

I have an appointment with my psych again tomorrow. I dont know how much I should tell her, how open I can safely be with her. Normally I am very open and honest ... now I'm afraid to be. I cry myself to sleep every night because I dont know what to do ... or what I can do. If anything.

Zoe I wish I were more like the person you described in your post above. But I'm not. I'm faltering and I need to escape for a time. But I cannot see a way to do so. My sisters visit was just as bad as I had anticipated, and in fact contributed to inflaming the home situation even further. She is toxic and if she wasnt my sister, I would have nothing to do with her. My brother provided a short respite when he visited a little over a week ago, it was so nice to see him and talk in person. But since then its been all downhill again.

I'm feeling so torn, so lost.

Sherry

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

That is why we are here with you and for you @Former-Member - to convey exactly what we see of you and to hopefully hold you up a little as you navigate your way through this. I do really have concerns for your welfare at home right now Hon. It is no place to be in where you are being verbally and physically threatened snd I do fear that not only will that get worse but that the threats will be followed through. I know you have said that you do have somewhere to go if this continued - is it maybe time to seek that solace elsewhere - even if it just gives you a few days of respite? Your safety is most important here Hon. I also think talking to your psych is a good idea - you need that outlet to be able to voice your concerns and your psych is a good place for that. I know she is very supportive and you really need that support right now. Please do what is right for you and if that is getting out then that is what you need to do. I am very concerned for you Sherry

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Zoe, I didnt expect anyone to reply .. I didnt tag anyone. Even though I was talking to you, and others here who have supported me, I didnt want to bother you now. You have more than enough to deal with. So ... Im sorry.

I'm sure I will be okay. Although the situation seems constantly volatile, I'm placing my faith that a sense of reason will prevail before things get too out of control. I close my eyes, hold my breath, and wait .. hoping nothing happens. So far so good.

I do need to get away though ... I really do. My Mum is really unwell and I need to visit. She has this week been diagnosed with another serious illness ... lung fibrosis .. and still refusing any home help.

I have spoken to hubby about going down there for 5 or 6 days. When I do so, its me being selfish, leaving him when he needs me. He tells me he should be my priority. Why cant he see that he has been exactly that for the past 2 years?

But I have to get away .. I have to or Im going to crack. I have a small window of opportunity in just under a fortnight, where there are currently no medical apts for hubby. I could escape for 6 days. Im going to be in trouble but Im going to aim for that, all going to plan. But hubby is a sick man, and I realise I may need to change plans at short notice.

Sherry

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Please don't be sorry at all @Former-Member You are so important to me here and I truly care about your safety right now - both physically and emotionally. Notifications are again down but I have been checking latest posts for you and a few others here. As you know I am sticking closely to just one thread but could not let you sit on this by yourself. You have been such a great support for me lately and despite how I am feeling currently I could not sit back and let you go through this alone.

I think it is great that you can get away for a few days. It is not great that your mum has been diagnosed with another illness but I do think you need to visit her for both her and yourself. You cannot continue to put yourself in the situation you are in with hubby nd look after yourself as well - it is imperative that you put your needs ahead of anyone else's when you are in such a precarious position right now. Maybe it will give your hubby some second thoughts on how he is treating you as well - I hope so. You also need to be safe - and if getting away for a few days will achieve that then you have to go. I know so well what it is like to be in that position but I didn't get out - and to my detriment. Your safety is priority here Hon and unfortunately your hubby comes second here - you are who matters sweet Sherry

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member I’m sorry you’re in a really hard spot at the moment. And I’m sorry if I haven’t supported you enough when you have helped me a lot.

You do need time away. Just for you. Otherwise you will break. And I don’t want that to happen to you. You have so much on your plate - you deserve that break.

Pls consider seeing your mum snd have the break.

Also if you can open up and talk to your psych pls do.

Sending you lots of love and hugs ❤️❤️❤️

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

ohhh @Former-Member

you are going through so much my friend

can you get respite care or someone to come while you see your mum

Mr shaz feels like that too , that I should be just for him , but I have my mum too

myself my darling friend , I reaaly think you need a break xoxo

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member ❤❤❤

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Just wanted to say thanks to you all @Zoe7 @outlander @Shaz51 @BlueBay

I have things a little clearer in my own mind now.

Sherry 💕✨

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member 👍💖💕💜❤

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Much love to you @Former-Member 💕

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