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Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

I was raped a little over 20 years ago now. It was by someone I knew and trusted and it occurred in my own home. I was physically injured, concussed, ashamed, afraid, embarrassed - all the usual things.

I never reported it to the authorities and never spoke to anyone about it. I had never been a particularly social person, but afterwards I isolated myself completely other than heading off to work dutifully each day.

After 18 years of almost constant battles with anxiety, flashbacks, nightmares, triggers, etc, I finally sought help from a psychologist. Initially it was for pain management as I suffered a severe back injury about 2 years after the rape. So after almost 2 years of occasional appointments I finally told her during a particularly difficult time (anniversary) what had happened all those years ago.

So early last year I was officially diagnosed with PTSD. On my clinical psychologists advice I have undergone a series of Exposure Therapy and CBT last year. It was a long, arduous and extremely difficult process. However, it did help to some degree.

However the nightmares, anxiety symptoms, etc continued. This was probably made worse as last year was an extremely difficult one for me all round. My little 11yo niece was killed in a car accident, my brother seriously and permanently injured, I was retrenched from my job when the business was sold, and I found out that my husband was cheating on me again. So I guess none of that helped.

And then on 29th February this year it was the 20th anniversary of my trauma. It seemed to hit me even harder than usual, I dont know why. There just seemed to be triggering events around every corner, it was awful. I struggled very badly.

My psychologist decided to try EMDR treatment once things settled down a bit. She felt it would help with the emotional content of my traumatic memories. So between April and early September this year, I have undergone 10 2xhour EMDR sessions. I am now on a break to see how things are now.

But in the meantime she wants me to talk to people about what happened, as it is an important part of the recovery process she says. However I find this really hard as I do not have any friends (my hubby is a narsissist according to my psychologist). I have become very isolated other than for my part-time work which I was lucky enough to find in January. I do some volunteer work in the aged care industry, which I enjoy. But I just do not have any friends I am able to talk to. My family live a long way away, and I could never tell them anyway.

Although I am still unable to verbally speak about the rape, I can now write about it, and even think about it to some extent, without bringing on a panic attack. So that's progress. I hope that by discussing it further and by learning how other people cope with their PTSD symptoms, I can further desensitise myself from my traumatic memories.

Hence my decision to try an online forum. I look forward to responses from other people who have had similar experiences to myself. I am definitely more of a listener than a talker, so I hope that I may be able to be of assistance to others here as well.

Thankyou for taking the time to read my story.

2344 replies

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In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

So well said @Zoe7 .... 💜🌷

@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Former-Member So you know I am thinking about you today and sending you a whole heap of love...

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Beautiful @Zoe7 @Former-Member ......❣️

(The flowers too)

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Faith-and-Hope 😍

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Hi @Former-Member

I understand you were hurt by this other forum changing the rules and you are concerned this might happen here too. You must feel very vulnerable but my suggestion is that you email the moderators - I know the managers would not be here for a few days but they will be back today - and this must be distressing for you

However this is a very caring forum - people are protected here - and I can tell you distressed you are

About your fear and PTSD about being assaulted in the city - I understand this far better - I have fears about being knocked in the supermarket or other places where people mill about without any concerned for other people - I have chronic spinal pain and become hypervigilent in public places at times and I don't really think there is any "should" about needing to be over it by now - I'm not - I have to confront this every week and feel really tense and wonder if today is the day I will require the assistance of the paramedics to get me onto my feet or even find myself in the ED again!!! - I hate it

So I identify with your feelings - having been assaulted and having chronic pain issues are quite different but the hypervigilance is the same - the heightened awareness - unexpected events that are harmless but startling - the tension and the fear - they are all very real - so one problem you seem to have is feeling like you shouldn't feel this way - and another is the reality of your feeling - being assaulted again.

I am not sure if you have a therapist but if you do then speak to them about it - I am glad you mentioned it here - you will have a lot on your plate if your husband is addmitted to hospital to have tests about autoimmune encephalitis - which is scary - and I believe every natural reason to be anxious -

And I would not be so senseless to tell you not to worry - all you have written about it important and something you need help to deal with

So email the moderators here and relieve your concern with the threads etc - and see your therapist or ring Life Line about your hypervigilence and it's wait and see with your husband

But share with us - keep in touch - the forum is here to help you

All the best

Dec

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

@Zoe7 @Faith-and-Hope @BlueBay @Appleblossom @Former-Member @Shaz51 @Owlunar

Not sure what to say really ... you have all been so understanding and supportive. So for now ... just a massive thank you.

@Zoe7 - how lovely of you to remember that freesia's are my favourite flowers. Such a beautiful yet simple arrangement of flowers you have delivered to me here.

@Owlunar - thank you for understanding. We actually have much more in common than you may realise, because I too suffer from chronic pain from a long ago lower back injury. Its sufferable most of the time, but there are times I can barely move when it decides to flare up. Often from no obvious cause. I'm told that the injury remains unstable and that I will experience major pain flares from time to time. One thing I am very grateful for right now is that its been pretty good the past few months. Touch wood! I dont need to be bedridden right now with so much happening around me. Plus with pain flares comes much increased depression and all that comes with that. Its not something I can ever just forget though, because I have pain all the time. But mostly I have learned to live with it or manage it reasonably well. Happens I guess after 20 years of suffering from it.

Yes I do have a clinical psychologist whom I have been seeing every fortnight until about a month ago when she went on a family holiday. She is back this week however, and I have an appointment with her tomorrow afternoon. Its a timely appointment as it turns out. I was hoping the hospital would hold off for a couple more days so I could get this one in tomorrow. Given there has been no phonecall from the hospital yet, its looking pretty good for my apt tomorrow.

I have yet to receive any 'please explain' emails from managers, so I'm hopeful that I have not crossed any lines or broken any unwritten rules in my commentary.

I sincerely apologise if I have caused concern or anger to anyone here. I have to say that managers here have always been fully supportive of me. I only have good things to say about Sane, and none of my citicisms of elsewhere, apply here. But due to distressing experiences elsewhere (several times over a 2 year period) I just feel very unsettled, and afraid of being cut off from support again. History has a habit of repeating itself.

Please everyone ... I really appreciate your understanding and your care. I'm okay, so please dont worry about me. I may be a little quiet for a bit though as I retreat into my protective shell and regroup.

I will update you about how my psych session goes tomorrow and also when the hospital call up for hubby happens and the dreaded trip to the City.

Thank you ...........

A very grateful
Sherry 💕🤗🌺

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

I fully understand that need to retreat for a while @Former-Member WHen you put your heart and your thoughts all out here it can be overwhelming and that for you runs alongside everything you are already dealing with - so it is not only understandable but very much a self-care thing to do.

You certainly have our support here Hon - with all you are going through AND all you wrote. It is a very tough time for you that was made worse because of what you have been through previously ...and whilst we cannot change history for you we can be here for you through this reminder.

I still very much feel like this was dealt with very insensitively and continues to be an issue for me too but whilst I still have a lot to say on the issue (at some stage) we cannot go back and change it. The only thing we can do is move forward and whilst I fully understand that that is hard for you right now I hope in time you can get past this too. Look after yourself Sherry - give yourself all the time and space you need - and know how ever long (or short) that is that we will be waiting here to continue to support you.

All my love and huge hugs Hon

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Hi all, have seen the encouragement around emailing the forums team here which is really meaningful to us. If you are feeling triggered or are unsure of anything to do with your forums use, the team is always there to work with you.

@Former-Member it is really positive to see your own self awareness of your triggers and how you can detect where and what they are coming from. Like I have said, if you are feeling unsure about your forum use you can email us team@saneforums.org otherwise it is wonderful to see the support of your peers here while you navigate a few big feelings currently 😊

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

sitting with you @Former-Member

In response to: Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

sitting with you and Holly @Former-Member

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