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Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

I was raped a little over 20 years ago now. It was by someone I knew and trusted and it occurred in my own home. I was physically injured, concussed, ashamed, afraid, embarrassed - all the usual things.

I never reported it to the authorities and never spoke to anyone about it. I had never been a particularly social person, but afterwards I isolated myself completely other than heading off to work dutifully each day.

After 18 years of almost constant battles with anxiety, flashbacks, nightmares, triggers, etc, I finally sought help from a psychologist. Initially it was for pain management as I suffered a severe back injury about 2 years after the rape. So after almost 2 years of occasional appointments I finally told her during a particularly difficult time (anniversary) what had happened all those years ago.

So early last year I was officially diagnosed with PTSD. On my clinical psychologists advice I have undergone a series of Exposure Therapy and CBT last year. It was a long, arduous and extremely difficult process. However, it did help to some degree.

However the nightmares, anxiety symptoms, etc continued. This was probably made worse as last year was an extremely difficult one for me all round. My little 11yo niece was killed in a car accident, my brother seriously and permanently injured, I was retrenched from my job when the business was sold, and I found out that my husband was cheating on me again. So I guess none of that helped.

And then on 29th February this year it was the 20th anniversary of my trauma. It seemed to hit me even harder than usual, I dont know why. There just seemed to be triggering events around every corner, it was awful. I struggled very badly.

My psychologist decided to try EMDR treatment once things settled down a bit. She felt it would help with the emotional content of my traumatic memories. So between April and early September this year, I have undergone 10 2xhour EMDR sessions. I am now on a break to see how things are now.

But in the meantime she wants me to talk to people about what happened, as it is an important part of the recovery process she says. However I find this really hard as I do not have any friends (my hubby is a narsissist according to my psychologist). I have become very isolated other than for my part-time work which I was lucky enough to find in January. I do some volunteer work in the aged care industry, which I enjoy. But I just do not have any friends I am able to talk to. My family live a long way away, and I could never tell them anyway.

Although I am still unable to verbally speak about the rape, I can now write about it, and even think about it to some extent, without bringing on a panic attack. So that's progress. I hope that by discussing it further and by learning how other people cope with their PTSD symptoms, I can further desensitise myself from my traumatic memories.

Hence my decision to try an online forum. I look forward to responses from other people who have had similar experiences to myself. I am definitely more of a listener than a talker, so I hope that I may be able to be of assistance to others here as well.

Thankyou for taking the time to read my story.

2344 replies

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In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

I think there are a few on the forums tonight struggling like this @Former-Member ....

Can you call Lifeline for more support ? I am hoping having vented here, and finding forum family hearing you will help .... but maybe the counsellor's there can give you more practical action to take in terms of self-care ? When your emotional batteries have run flat, you might need the RAC with jump-leads along with a tow and a hot cup of tea from those walking with you ....

Please keep chatting. I will be around for a while. It is a lot you are carrying ....

❤️🌷💕

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

Hi @Former-Member

I am sorry to hear your having such a difficult time (lots of challenges). I just want to acknowledge how your feeling (constantly fighting, defeated and sad), it is exhausting to say the least. I live with complex ptsd and it feels like a full-time job looking after yourself and then managing all the other things we do in daily life. Being something that is quite often hidden from others doesnt much get the care, nuturing or respect that some other more visible illnesses receive. I know I cant change your circumstances but I can acknowledge your struggle and hope that today is a better day for you. Courage and resilience is what I think my fellow ptsd survivors have plenty of. Wishing you well from @PurpleFlowers.

In response to: Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

Good morning @PurpleFlowers ..... lovely to meet you ....

How are you this morning @Former-Member ? Thinking of you and hoping today is a more hopeful day ....

💜💕🌷💐💗

In response to: Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

Hi @Faith-and-Hope, thank you and lovely to meet you as well...

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

hi @Former-Member,

i too suffer ptsd along with other anxiety disorders. i was also sexually abused/raped as a child by 4 different men between the ages of 3 and 9. only one of my abusers has been convicted but he was caught in the act and i was only one of 28 girls he sexually abused/raped and most of us r his daughters my own mother being his step daughter and i his biological daughter. to this day i still have to attend or write to the court because of him its been 19 years since he was convicted and he was suppose to be locked up for 40 years he was out after 12 and continues to fight the court about his parole conditions. my other abusers have not been to convicted an i suppose never will now. i do find it hard sometimes my mother only knows about the first one and i dont have any intentions of telling her. when i was nine after the last time i was raped my best friend took her life and i tried not long after but failed i turned to stealing alcohol i was 12 before it was noticed that i was drinking not that i actually hid the fact actually having told police that my drink bottle was filled with rum and coke when i was 10 but was called an attention seeker and told to stop lieing. i now see a psychologist but despite seeing her a whole year i dont feel like its getting any easier to cope

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

Hi @Former-Member

Thank you for having the courage to share your story with us. It is so important for all of us to know that we are not alone. Some will have shared experiences of trauma and can relate at that level, both to the abuse, but more importantly to the survival and recovery ..... the adaptability and resilience of the human spirit is truly amazing .... but it also takes a lot of love, compassion, perseverance and understanding to heal and move forward, an that's what these forums are about .....

I don't have the same sort of life experience, but listening to others who do, it means rebuilding ..... restoring .... and it's a long, arduous journey, but it does bring resolution out of courage.

Well done on achieving your first year of counselling. You have probably moved forward in ways you can't see yet .... but keep going .... recovery is so important .... success is the best antidote ever .... but it is something you need to keep reaching for ....

We are here to walk with you ....

🌷💜

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

Hey @Former-Member 🌹

It is always hard to claw ourselves back from the clutches of sadness, defeat and feeling done in, yet I am sure that you have before and can call on your experience of similar times. You are a long term survivor. What have you done in the past to reset your mind and outlook? Do you have a toolkit gleaned from your many years of survival and overcoming to dip into now? It is so hard to see the wood for the trees when we get so burned out. I wonder if there is one thing you can do to start picking yourself up? Bottom line make no big life decisions in this place, just come back to the moment. Worn all together the worries and challenges are very heavy - broken down to their individual parts they are doable.

In the end the results of your tests will be what they are and a new challenge to embrace and move through - and while your brother's life is so very difficult and he is in extremis - it sounds like he has a team of people around him to care for him, so he is as safe as he can be.

Is there something you can do today to step out of the suffocating swaddle of pressing problems and focus on something else for a while?

What is your favourite doable activity? Could you choose to do that?

In response to: Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

Hi @Former-Member

I haven't felt up to saying much on the forums lately.

I think that I am feeling like you do, that life is just too hard. But, I just wanted to let you know that I read your message and I understand what you are feeling. I go through this often. This week in particular has been very emotionally draining. I mentioned a bit about it on the "sleeping too much" thread a few days ago.

Sorry to hear that you are struggling alot lately. It must be very difficult for you hearing what your brother is going through. This would be draining alot of your energy.

How are you coping your own? Are you able to sleep?

Yes, it is very annoying having to go to appointments. I hope that the results are ok. I've had very high cholestorol for years, but I don't take medication for it. I changed my diet and I heard that the most important thing to do for it is exercise, so I try to do that often. (not always easy).

I've had to cancel a couple of my psychologist appointments lately. I have felt too drained to drive up there and I really need to keep practising the mindfulness. I believe that will really help the PTSD etc.

Do you feel lonely with your partner/hubby away? Or are you enjoying your time alone? I hope that you are able to do something nice for yourself. Like a massage or something like that.

Look forward to hearing from you.

In response to: Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

Hi to @Former-Member Nice to meet you.

Hi @PurpleFlowers Nice to meet you too.

Hi @MoonGal

Hi @Faith-and-Hope

Air con is on, it's super hot here.

In response to: Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

Re: My introduction - Living with PTSD

Hi @Former-Member ❤️

It's nice to see you making your way out a bit ... I know some days are really hard for you .... and it seems that the people with similar life stories begin to find each other here .... amongst the struggles there is companionship from others who know what you go through because they live it too ... 🌿🌷💕

My cold is passing - yay - but I'm still takin an analgesia for a dull headache in the background ... trying to keep plodding through commitments without overdoing it.

❤️💕 Hugs @Former-Member ..... and some more for your brother ....

My brother was in a horrendous bike vs car accident several years ago now. We thought we would lose him that night .... but he pulled through .... after about 5 weeks in a coma. He needed surgery and has ended up with a plate in his head ..... and it took a few years to get back on his feet .... but he did it ❤️

His wife had not been happy in the marriage before the accident, but couldn't stomach the humiliation of divorce .... not socially acceptable in their faith system .... so she took the opportunity of his accident to fault-find with him instead of aiding his recovery, then bolted with the kids. It has taken all that time for him to fight for access to the kids, and now his daughter has made her way back to visiting him, and his new wife, voluntarily 🌷💜

There are so many stories of long-term struggle, that seem so, so hard in the moment .... but please keep persevering towards that light at the end of the tunnel. You are so worth it, and you deserve better than what you have experienced .... slowly, slowly these things can be turned into courage, strength, positivity, new life opportunities .... you don't know how many new experiences, positive ones, are around the corner, and the gift of compassion that you share with others around you as a result of your own hardships 💐

Just keep swimming ..... 🐠🐠🐠💕

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