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Isolation

Jen54Casual Contributor29 Jan 2022, 1:13 pm AEDT

Isolation

Hi,

My 16 year old daughter has recently spent some time in hospital due to her undiagnosed BPD/ EUPD.

Since coming home it feels like she has had a reset button, as she is appearing more stable at the moment.

Anyways, apart from trying to help her in any way possible, with a new decent Psychologist etc, the hardest thing she and myself have had to deal with is friends turning their backs on us. One of my daughters friend group had told her that her mental illness makes them uncomfortable, (and she should write a pros and cons list) and this was part of the reason for her hospital admission. I too have had my so called best friend disengage, just sending me a text saying she's worried about me, but not enough to bother picking up the phone. My mother who lives overseas and has done for 30 years, advice was to sell stuff to pay for my daughters ongoing sessions with psychologist, and attempted to diagnose her from afar.

I get that it is confronting for others who have no idea what mental illness is about.

But more and more I am feeling very much alone, my only respite is going to work where I am so busy I forget about it all for a while. Meanwhile my daughter sits alone in her bedroom, being consumed by her anxiety and mood swings (she has been prescribed meds).

I am a sole parent with no family support, so I am strong and independent, but presently it feels a bit overwhelming doing it all on my own. Thanks for reading. 🙂

11 replies

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In response to: Isolation

Lila3Senior Contributor29 Jan 2022, 4:13 pm AEDT

Re: Isolation

Thanks for sharing what's happening for you. It makes me sad that people are rejecting when we need them most. Why do they do that? What are they afraid of? I feel for your daughter. I too am isolating in my bedroom due to trauma and anxiety.

In response to: Re: Isolation

Jen54Casual Contributor29 Jan 2022, 4:19 pm AEDT

Re: Isolation

Hi Lila

I am sorry that you have experienced trauma and suffer from anxiety. What things help you when feeling this way? If you don't mind me asking. No stress if you don't feel like answering 🙂

In response to: Re: Isolation

Lila3Senior Contributor29 Jan 2022, 5:49 pm AEDT

Re: Isolation

Hi Jen,

If I'm managing well enough, I go for long walks or do some yoga. Currently, I'm in a bit of a blank state ( bit dissociative). when I get like that I just nap and daydream.

Have you had a chance to tell your friends how you are feeling? Sometimes it can be hard finding the right words hey?

In response to: Isolation

-JJ-Contributor29 Jan 2022, 10:54 pm AEDT

Re: Isolation

In response to: Isolation

tymeModerator31 Jan 2022, 5:56 pm AEDT

Re: Isolation

Hi @Jen54 ,

I'm sorry to hear that things are so challenging at the moment, especially as you have all the weight on you.

If your daughter goes to school, does she have any welfare supports in terms of a counsellor or psychologist? It is probably a good idea to speak to the school to see what arrangements and supports can be provided.

My MH issues (BPD, depression, anxiety) began in my late teenage-hood. The school did everything they could to help. But even then, I still had years of being at home in my room, 'consumed by [my] anxiety and mood swings.' My mood swings made me so unstable in relationships that I sooner or later withdrew.

Meds played a part, but the majority of the recovery work was done by shear hard work, sweat and tears - with a very good treating team (psychologists, GPs, psychiatrists). It did take a number of years though.

You are not alone in this. Please continue reaching out here, especially if you have any BPD related questions.

I'll tag some members who have experience with BPD.

tyme

@Shaz51 @Determined @BPDSurvivor

In response to: Re: Isolation

tymeModerator02 Feb 2022, 8:45 pm AEDT

Re: Isolation

Dear @Jen54 ,

Just checking in. How are you? I know things have been tough lately. Have you been able to reach out to any supports?

Looking to hear from you,

tyme

In response to: Isolation

SA64Contributor03 Feb 2022, 12:42 pm AEDT

Re: Isolation

I understand exactly what that is like. My daughter and I lost our supports too and we very isolated, including living rurally. If you search Topic Tuesday, there is a thread of isolation.

For me, I asked headspace (where my daughter was engaged with the early youth psychosis unit) to be put in touch with other carers so we could get together and support each other. I felt being with people who know what you were going through and were non judgemental was the way to go. Headspace set up the group, and we met once a month. It was what got me through.

You may want to talk to the hospital/psychologist, etc. to find out what groups are happening or get them to assist in creating one. Isolation is awful - not sharing with others because they just make bad assumptions or feel uncomfortable or whatever is totally necessary, but we need to find our tribe. There are probably online support groups too, but you need to be careful of getting bad advice and know when a group feels unsafe.

I had a 'best friend' give me shit when my son got unwell with anxiety/depression at 12, saying I needed to take him to yoga and he'd be fine (because that had helped her grown ass woman self with her anxiety - so surely it would help a 12 year old boy). When I didn't take him she full on yelled at me for creating his unwellness.
I'm telling you, times like this help you weed out the fairweather friends, and create new connections. Same with our kids. My daughter lost all her friends, but she sure gained some maturity and empathy and is amazing.
Make sure you ask for what you need. First softly, and then loudly, if you're not listened to. ❤️

In response to: Re: Isolation

Shaz51Senior Contributor07 Feb 2022, 3:52 pm AEDT