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Topic Tuesday // Supporting loved ones living with BPD // Tuesday 25th January, 7pm-8:30pm AEDT

cloudcoreSenior Contributor

Topic Tuesday // Supporting loved ones living with BPD // Tuesday 25th January, 7pm-8:30pm AEDT

Hi SANE Community,

This fortnight, we invite you to join our Topic Tuesday on supporting loved ones living with BPD with peer support worker @tyme !

There are many in our community actively seeking support around caring for loved ones living with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), often feeling isolated and lost in this process. BPD is a complex mental health issue that can be very distressing for the person and for the friends, family and carers close to them- leading to strained relationships and burn out.

It's important that we can find others with shared experiences so that we don’t feel so alone as we care for our loved ones. This Topic Tuesday will be a space to come together and ask any questions we may have, as well as discuss our experiences and strategies for self care.

Join us so that we can build connections and feel more empowered in our roles.

Please join the discussion here on Tuesday the 25th of January 2022 from 7:00pm-8:30pm AEST to follow this conversation.

Want to know what time this event starts in your time zone? Check out the picture below:

Want to receive a reminder on the night? Hit the 'Support' button below and we will tag you 30 minutes before the event starts.

New to the forums or want to get involved in this discussion? Check out the How To Guide for Topic Tuesdays.

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In response to: Topic Tuesday // Supporting loved ones living with BPD // Tuesday 25th January, 7pm-8:30pm AEDT

cloudcoreSenior Contributor

Re: Topic Tuesday // Supporting loved ones living with BPD // Tuesday 25th January, 7pm-8:30pm AEDT

Doing things you enjoy

Setting time aside to engage in activities you enjoy will allow you to recharge your batteries. These may include:

  • going for a walk
  • art and craft activities e.g. knitting, painting, diamond painting, soap making
  • joining and attending a fitness group e.g. pilates, walking, yoga
  • spending time with friends
  • having a coffee
  • going for a drive

Often when we care for others we can forget that we can just do something small to care for ourselves! Love these suggestions 😁

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Supporting loved ones living with BPD // Tuesday 25th January, 7pm-8:30pm AEDT

DaisydreamerSenior Contributor

Re: Topic Tuesday // Supporting loved ones living with BPD // Tuesday 25th January, 7pm-8:30pm AEDT

We are so glad you are here @Maybe1 🙂 Navigation is a learning curve, so please feel free to tag any of us for tips or support if you need 🙂

I hope the forums can be a support network for you

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Supporting loved ones living with BPD // Tuesday 25th January, 7pm-8:30pm AEDT

FarmboyCasual Contributor

Re: Topic Tuesday // Supporting loved ones living with BPD // Tuesday 25th January, 7pm-8:30pm AEDT

I have read a lot about managing stress. I practice mindfulness. I love music so I put in my ear pieces and listen to my favourite genre of music which takes me to a peaceful happy place, often I go walking while listening to the music. I need to look after myself so I can look after my wife, I had serious unexpected health challenges in 2021, so my health is now a priority also.

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Supporting loved ones living with BPD // Tuesday 25th January, 7pm-8:30pm AEDT

DeterminedSenior Contributor

Re: Topic Tuesday // Supporting loved ones living with BPD // Tuesday 25th January, 7pm-8:30pm AEDT

One of my biggest regrets is hiding during a melt down thinking my being there was making it worse .(I was only out in the shed).

That resulted in a suicide attempt (because she thought I was leaving) and children finding her. 😢

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Supporting loved ones living with BPD // Tuesday 25th January, 7pm-8:30pm AEDT

tymeModerator

Re: Topic Tuesday // Supporting loved ones living with BPD // Tuesday 25th January, 7pm-8:30pm AEDT

I can resonate with you @Maybe1

When I was diagnosed, I went through treatment because people wanted me to.

It wasn't until my 30s that I realised I needed to want the treatment and I needed to do that work.

Even after my treatment, it took months to get back to functionality.

All the DBT skills your daughter has learnt probably now needs time to be out into use and practised. It is HARD work changing the neural pathways in the brain so that there is behaviour change. She needs to want to do it.

Do you think your daughter is at this stage where she needs to WANT to see change?

tyme

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Supporting loved ones living with BPD // Tuesday 25th January, 7pm-8:30pm AEDT

Maybe1Casual Contributor

Re: Topic Tuesday // Supporting loved ones living with BPD // Tuesday 25th January, 7pm-8:30pm AEDT

These are really good suggestions, especially setting the boundaries together and then sticking to them. I am still practising this into action.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Supporting loved ones living with BPD // Tuesday 25th January, 7pm-8:30pm AEDT

DaisydreamerSenior Contributor

Re: Topic Tuesday // Supporting loved ones living with BPD // Tuesday 25th January, 7pm-8:30pm AEDT

Question 4: Moving beyond diagnosis, people with BPD have unique strengths. What are some of the strengths you see in the person you support? What strengths do you see in yourself when caring for a loved one?

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Supporting loved ones living with BPD // Tuesday 25th January, 7pm-8:30pm AEDT

TABSenior Contributor

Re: Topic Tuesday // Supporting loved ones living with BPD // Tuesday 25th January, 7pm-8:30pm AEDT

I nearly didn't @cloudcore it was oddest feeling usually driving never a problem

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Supporting loved ones living with BPD // Tuesday 25th January, 7pm-8:30pm AEDT

tymeModerator

Re: Topic Tuesday // Supporting loved ones living with BPD // Tuesday 25th January, 7pm-8:30pm AEDT

Borderline Personality Disorder can bring so many strengths to the individual as well as those caring for them.

Strengths of a pwBPD may include:

  • being more attuned to others’ emotions
  • highly passionate
  • highly compassionate and empathetic
  • heightened creativity and attention to detail
  • strong resilience

Strengths of a carer for someone with BPD:

  • patient
  • resilient
  • strengths in communication
  • maintaining boundaries
  • empathetic
  • supportive
  • flexible

@Farmboy has also pointed out some strengths.

Can the community share some of the strengths they have noticed in themselves or their loved ones?

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Supporting loved ones living with BPD // Tuesday 25th January, 7pm-8:30pm AEDT

DeterminedSenior Contributor

Re: Topic Tuesday // Supporting loved ones living with BPD // Tuesday 25th January, 7pm-8:30pm AEDT

@tyme

Setting boundaries made a huge difference for us.

I resisted for a long time because setting rules and consequences for my wife felt sooo wrong.

A counsellor showed me how this could work however while darling was in hospital on suicide watch.

I was able to introduce our new boundaries before she came home knowing I could leave knowing she was safe when she lost it. (Which she did)

I was able to pre warn her nurse a storm.was imminent. The nurse was super supportive.

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Back to top
SANE logo
Australian Commission on Safety and Quality in Health Care NSQDMH Accreditation logo

Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.

Donate Now
Aboriginal flag
Torres Strait Islander flag
LGBT flag
Transgender flag

SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.

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