'Covering' Do you do it?

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@Former-Member wrote:

It must feel good to not only be making the situation better for yourself but, by being part of this bigger change we need, for all people with mental illness.

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@Former-Member yeah I'm beginning to enjoy this reconnecting with values/meaningful life my psychologist has made me think about. Some big changes in some other areas too because of this too.

Thanks @esprit

@Sahara I really appreciate your support, but cant see your post. I cannot edit my original post now. but thanks agin.

mrkotter......isn't this why we live in a sick society though?....people are forced to 'cover up' so many aspects of themselves, their feelings and their true identities (being gay, having an affair, having to lie about matters which they shouldn't really be forced to lie about).....being part of any civilisation means fitting in and when that civilisation represses 'being human' (apart from repressive civilisations that use violence against certain beliefs or lifestyles) than the majority of people will be covering......next time you attend something put the focus on everyone else and perhaps see clearly that although you may be focussed on your BP they are all focussed on some aspect of their own lives that they believe they must cover up!

Any social situation naturally involves hiding your true feelings and presenting a certain persona.....we don't see anything untoward about that...it would be emotional chaos otherwise and the objective of the function would be sabotaged....whether professional or social there is a need to present in a certain way surely?

I guess the health factor involved is having a place to return to where you can feel free of these 'social responsibilities' and recharge......to have to continue to cover would be debilitating:(

We are conditioned to act in a certain way through the socialisation process and experiences from childhood. I was a obese child from the age of 2-3,early teenage years 13-14 lost 7 stone with Jenny Craig put it back on lost 55 kgs in late 20s.Because I couldn't cover this up my weight was used as a weapon to control me and for pathetic people to put me down to make themselves look good,whether it was in the schoolyard,or a adult who thought you needed to be told you were fat.I now get quite annoyed when you see relatives who the first thing to come out of their mouth is something like "You've lost weight!"or something that makes you feel inferior.It is like on reflection living in a small town knowing boys who are now known to be gay,but could never "come out"and say so ,tried to date girls to "cover up and be the "norm" of society,whatever that is who knows?One boy I knew at school,you knew was different through physiological differences to other boys and got bullied by other boys but could never admit he was gay or allowed to accept it .As mentioned,my weight problems and the judgements that went with it caused great trauma and contributed to my spiral into anxiety and depression with severe suicidal thoughts .No one is perfect ,but some of us know that more than others.

I'm having a bad day,and as I told a doctor last week suffer anxiety with people I do know,cant handle questions about my life,or the fact that I have failed in life being unemployed,mental illness etc.Say "hello",and that is it.When I am having a bad day can't cover but have to avoid.I have too much of the "flight"response,and have not got the energy anymore to put a mask on as I realise no one is worth it.I was once someone who did things to please others...now I am too busy keeping myself safe from them and my thoughts.

I think at the moment I am finding socially acceptable ways to be authentic with my story.

It can seem very scary apparently and I am told I let off bombs, when I think I am just being mundane & boring & low key.

So I am learning to relate and joke and do chit chat .. in ways that are completely true and meaningful but maybe stepping with the deeper revelations. For a long time they were all at the surface and my cup was brimming over. Now things are "sometimes" better tucked away, and I can be more appropriate and sensitive to the listeners needs and point of view.