'Covering' Do you do it?

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@Sahara wrote:

If you were having a bad day, problems at home or suffering from depression, if was always implied that you should not let this interfere with your happy, competent, agreeable work persona. Sure, I met heaps of people who dared to show their weaknesses at work; but these people were not generally liked well nor were they promoted.

I've found my work place to be accomodating in other respects. Need to leave early for family, no worries. Having personal problems but this I feel stuck on.

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@utopia wrote:
I can't see too many workplaces that would want their staff saying they are having a bad day.

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And that's not a workplace I would ever want to work in, in fact I've never worked somewhere where a colleague hasn't said they are having a bad day at least once. We aren't robots and we shouldn't treat ourselves as such. I'm regularly on the phone to clients that pay us millions a year do I ever tell them I'm busy? No, I have all the time in the world for them even if someone has just set the office on fire. Them knowing anything about my personal life is irrelevant.

What I'm saying is that I have to cook up some story so I can take time off to see a psychiatrist so I'm not judged. Or that I need to push work around so when I'm up I can do those big days without the boss noticing me and chewing me out for it. Or, god forbid, when I have a social chat with the boss and she brags about having 150 twitter followers I can say back that I've got 900+ without the fear of being judged when I say I tweet about bipolar.

I am not asking for much here. I am not asking for my colleagues to sit through while I tell them blow by blow on how I've tried to do that thing to myself. And I'm sure my colleagues don't want a detailed account of my dating life either. There are places for everything. This stuff is sensitive but I should not have to fear talking about it when it makes sense to do so (and is in the business' best interest).

A gay person shouldn't have to hide their sexuality and I shouldn't have to hide who I am is a pretty good comparison of what I'm asking for. A key assumption I'm making here is that when mental illness (like my bipolar) is well controlled people shouldn't be worried about even if I do behave a little differently every once and awhile.

And having an inclusive workplace where people don't feel welcome and have to fear that they need to hide something brings down productivity so much that it hurts the business. Being a robot at work is counterproductive.

I agree we, (the community as a whole) have to do more than pay lip service to the issues of inclusion and diversity.

Mental illness as a disability is still one of the most difficult things to bring up in general conversation, let alone in the way that @mrkotter has mentioned.

Human Resources should be able to develop protocols that allow for the fully human ... robotics is best kept at the robotics institute. Where there are humans there are human issues.. there can be "cover-ups", tears and fights everywhere .. and in the workplace.

British Rail had huge issues with modernisation and cutting corners with safety issues which caused workplace accidents. Top down management pressure was the problem. Mental Illness by itself does not cause workplace accidents ... ignorance and carelessness does.

If a person can manage their condition and has the track record .. well .. there should be allowances.

At one stage women werent allowed to wear pants or be in the workplace, but then we forget about how often the home is actually a workplace.

Head honchos often have a few achilles heels (we all do) .. and the classic secretary may help shield those heels for reputaton more than efficiency ... but the real truth is we all have strengths and weaknesses ... and different periods of peak efficiency .. and have to pull together the best we can to achieve our goals.

Workplaces are so diverse it is about 'horses for courses' and working out the specific issues that MI may effect specific work situations.

@utopia your old workplace has a low tolerance for mistakes so I can understand why you want people to be capable, but we could also place these issues under the umbrella of ...

"Communication and People Skills" that are usually required on most CVs.

The pressure to collude with bosses and the dominant culture is not always benign, in fact, it is often corrupt.

It is about getting the message about mental illness in the mainstream ... so we dont have to keep re-inventing the wheel about the problems that SHAME, TOXIC SECRECY, and STIGMA cause in people's lives.

Things are a bit better .. but still lots to go.

I think part of it is due to an excess of dualist thinking ...

the old saint/sinner binary replaced by the sick/well binary.

Eg S/He's a star, got talent, a real winner ... or S/He's sick, or a no-hoper etc etc.

Anyway thats me .. looking forward to Suzanne's input.

Hey @Kurra darling ... stubborn aint always rite.

kiss kiss

I've just read through the whole thread and the thing that keeps coming up for me is that comparison with people hiding their sexuality. I think it's a really good comparison because the stigma they faced only really started to reduce when the collective weight of their disclosure hit a critical point. The first people who had the courage to 'out' themselves faced absolute discrimination. But over time, as more and more people refused to stay silent, the situation became normalised and the discrimination lessened. It's not gone but it's nowhere near what it was initially.

So, maybe this is where we are with openness around MI in the workplace. We're still at the early pioneer stage where disclosure can have some serious repercussions. But if enough people open up, and enough people really get that it affects almost a quarter of us, it will become normalised. Less stigmatised.

Of course, that means that if you choose to be a MI pioneer at this point in time....well, that can suck. And I completely understand why people don't choose that. But @mrkotter I think you're growing frustration with this situation means that you might be heading in that direction. Genuinely a brave new world. And if you're confident in your performance and have a supportive boss, you're starting from a strong position.

But my advice would be to take some time and to talk it through with your psych. Come up with a plan of action that might involve gradual exposure and contingencies. Or maybe just park the issue for a while to see if it's still simmering in a month. And definitely check out the link when it's available. Dov, in particular, had some great advice based on his workplace disclosures.

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@Former-Member wrote:

Of course, that means that if you choose to be a MI pioneer at this point in time....well, that can suck. And I completely understand why people don't choose that. But @mrkotter I think you're growing frustration with this situation means that you might be heading in that direction. Genuinely a brave new world. And if you're confident in your performance and have a supportive boss, you're starting from a strong position.

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You know what @Former-Member I'm done. This is tearing me up inside. I can no longer push down my values of doing more and being true by hiding. One of the big things for me is to make it easier for the people that follow me. Going through what I've been totally sucked and I want to make it easier for the next poor soul that finds themselves in my shoes when I was diagnosed. Plus the obvious potential benefits for me.

The risks don't scare me, what scares me is doing nothing. There is an opportunity cost here of inaction.

I have talked about this with my psychologist, numerous times and really close friends that are also have a diagnosis but have a different opinion. This issue has been around for me since 2013. Sure I need a plan but I am committed to action.

And my battery is about dead, thanks SA for the blackout.

Okay but your strength of feeling makes me nervous @mrkotter. Like a pendulum swing that might have you blurting it out at the next team meeting! I know you're smarter than that but make sure you're balancing thought and feeling. So the disclosure is strategic and the scales are balanced in favour of a good outcome.

Hope you get some power.

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@Former-Member wrote:

I've just read through the whole thread and the thing that keeps coming up for me is that comparison with people hiding their sexuality. I think it's a really good comparison because the stigma they faced only really started to reduce when the collective weight of their disclosure hit a critical point. The first people who had the courage to 'out' themselves faced absolute discrimination. But over time, as more and more people refused to stay silent, the situation became normalised and the discrimination lessened. It's not gone but it's nowhere near what it was initially.

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No matter where you go, you are what you are player
And you can try to change but that's just the top layer
Man, you was who you was 'fore you got here
Only God can judge me, so I'm gone
Either love me, or leave me alone