Complex?

Hi 🙂 😕 😞

I have a question that worries me sometimes, a lot, probably more now than before and I would like to know if others feel this way and how they deal with it.

Like many of us I have a complex history with csa, mental illness, trauma from war, lately bushfires & covid, suicide attempts, gender identity issues… I have a support team but sometimes I need to reach out for extra support and I find it, let’s say challenging. When I’m unwell I often don’t know what mounted up to get me to that point and I don’t know who to reach out to. Sane is often not available due to office hours or business and I feel they can help me best. Beyondblue feels like a referral system and they have turned me back a few times. For some reason, without evidence, I feel lifeline will call an ambulance when I’m confused even if I am safe. QLine I have not found helpful. SCBS are always helpful but I only contact them when things feel really bad in my head, with them I feel that they would be able to judge if I need intervention.

Anyway, I’m really grateful we have access to additional support in our lives. Sometimes I just don’t know who to contact and at the moment that bothers me a lot as I have moved away and am far from my safe places, people, activities, pretty much my whole prevention plan and I don’t think I have thought this all through and have a few question marks in my head.

i am safe, it just bothers me and I’m worried that I won’t know what to do. I’ve spent years to build my support system and know who and where I am safe to reach out to locally and everything is changing all the time now and I don’t know where my safety blanket is.