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outlanderSenior Contributor
Right now it feels like im on the verge of a mental breakdown. the only space that feels safe is here. the only place i can talk and support others because that is what helps me. but right now i cant think straight.
In response to: Feel like im on the verge of a breakdown
outlanderSenior Contributor
In response to: Re: Feel like im on the verge of a breakdown
BPDSurvivorSenior Contributor
@outlander , respite care doesn't have to be termed 'respite'. It's respite for you. Could you engage your pop in social events with a support worker to take him out shopping or a coffee?
Im not sure how able he is, but in my local council , they set up events for the elderly such as walking, walking football, coffee catch-ups, dance, games, movie nights, day trips, art classes, exercise, yoga. All these events are low or no cost.
I also know people who go to the house just to have a chat to the person, watch a movie together, have coffee together. This type of connection is probably the type of respite your pop needs (in his own home) rather than sending him away to a facility.
What are your thoughts?
In response to: Re: Feel like im on the verge of a breakdown
outlanderSenior Contributor
In response to: Re: Feel like im on the verge of a breakdown
BPDSurvivorSenior Contributor
Very interesting @outlander . Sounds like he has a negative understanding of it all so he is very resistant.
As stressful as it is for you at this time, do you think your pop is being reactive and stressed out himself, thinking he is not wanted? That can really play mind games.
Sounds like he needs connection and friends. Change can be hard for anyone, let alone an older person. What are some things he likes or is interested in?
In response to: Re: Feel like im on the verge of a breakdown
outlanderSenior Contributor
he doesnt accept that he has dementia. gets very aggressive about it @BPDSurvivor
No i dont think its an unwanted thing. i think its more of him not accepting he is aging.
he likes cars, music, playing darts. all things i suggested. i even said maybe he could do some music lessons but didnt care for that either. he fights anything positive i say to him.
the problem with him is, even when he sees family he forgets. its very high maintence work tbh. his daughter visited the 2 days ago and he cant recognise the sense of time so is saying its months. hes seen her a few times plus went for dinner, seen my mum which is his other daughter, had a bbq with all the family about 2 weeks ago when our lockdown ended. his brother calls once a week to talk to him as well-hes a few hrs away so doesnt visit to often but my pop goes on weekends maybe every few months as well. he has a friend of his that comes down maybe once a week or fortnight, another of his friends walks pasts and talks to him every day/every second day.
In response to: Re: Feel like im on the verge of a breakdown
outlanderSenior Contributor
people are forever proving me right and its sad. . its being constantly proven that unless i have something to offer then im not worth being around.
In response to: Re: Feel like im on the verge of a breakdown
BPDSurvivorSenior Contributor
I beg to differ on that one. I'm sure it's about finding who a you are around with.
Things ages tough at the moment, but it didn't mean it will always be tough. Just hang in there.
I can't say I totally know what it's like to be in your shoes, because I don't.
I just want you to know we are hear for you.
BPDSurvivor
In response to: Re: Feel like im on the verge of a breakdown
outlanderSenior Contributor
In response to: Re: Feel like im on the verge of a breakdown
BPDSurvivorSenior Contributor
@outlander , I didn't start 'living' until my early 30s - I came to the end of myself and this is when I worked with therapy that would work with me.
Before that, I resisted everything. I was striving to be happy. When psychiatrists and psychologists asked me what I wanted, I said 'I wanted to be happy'. I looked for different ways to be 'happy'. Years later, he stopped looking to be happy. I engaged in therapy and now I can truly say I'm absolutely 100% satisfied and content. I couldn't ask for anything better.
I still tell people that I never thought I'd see today. I thought I'd never make it.
Yet I'm here.
You are precious. It may be hard now but it will be worth it.
BPDSurvivor
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.
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