Daily Check In Space

Sorry to our friends & members who aren’t doing so well. I was right there with you just a week and a bit ago. The two people I care for were in serious danger and I was scared witless. Anxiety tearing at me. For months now I have experienced constant peaks and troughs. Right now - we’re at a peak. But it’s feeling sustainable. Brother is heading to rehab very soon and my mother has been hospitalized in a mental health unit. The forensic clean I’ve organised for her house is underway. I am so grateful for this progress. I feel grateful to play a role in supporting all this but ultimately know, notwithstanding high and complex needs, the two people I care so deeply for are so determined and so filled with the momentum needed for their well-being and safety. Yes it’s peaks and troughs and things can feel fragile, but I am over the moon that good, professional help and support is happening for my brother and mother ❤️ As a result, I am at a 9. And something I’m doing to look after myself is eating aldi chocolate, better articulating my needs to the people I am in caring relationships with and spending more time on the phone to my beloved.

@Former-Member

What number is that too

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@ExhaustedCarer wrote:

Yes it’s peaks and troughs and things can feel fragile, but I am over the moon that good, professional help and support is happening for my brother and mother ❤️ As a result, I am at a 9. And something I’m doing to look after myself is eating aldi chocolate, better articulating my needs to the people I am in caring relationships with and spending more time on the phone to my beloved.

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Hi @ExhaustedCarer we haven't chatted yet but big warm smiles for this 🤗💖

Mostly just tired @Former-Member

Feeling responsible for supporting so many people. I can feel myself wearing down.

Self care atm = riding my bike to work as much as I can.

Thank you @Paperdaisy 💖💖

@ExhaustedCarer! This is such amazing news, thank you for sharing it with us here ❤️And thank you for sharing your story of peaks and troughs. It definitely is something for me to remember when I'm in a trough.

You've worked so hard at supporting your brother and mum, and I'm glad you're feeling better and they're getting some support. I'm sending you a collective virtual hug from all of us here.

And those self-care activities are such a comfort, like chocolate, and challenging but good things, like articulating your needs.

I hope you have a very restful evening ❤️

@Determined having that weight sounds exhausting. Please let us know how we can support you ❤️ You're not alone and we're here if you need to vent or to support you however you need.

I'm glad you're able to ride your bike into work. How far is it? It might not solve everything, we all know how important exercise it 🚲

Haha @Former-Member

Riding something with a bit more HP than I have to offer for the work commute 🏍

Although I would not mind cycling other than I would be a bit hot and sticky by the time I get to work. And lacking in energy for the ride home.

As the mornings get a bit lighter and warmer I want to try and get back to cycling before work. During summer I can usually get 30 - 40 km in time to come home and shower ready for work.

Weekends darling and I can manage 80 - 100 km on a Saturday morning.

We have not cycled though for 5 or 6 weeks between wet weather and being sick with the usual winter bugs.

Did a 200km motorbike ride with darling on the.weekend also foe the first time in over a month, kind of sapped me though.

Was nice to be out together though.

At the same time feel bad for leaving the children with Grandad

Both granddad and youngest frett while.we are out, cycling or motorcycling.

At the moment FIL is requiring heart surgery. And I suspect struggling emotionally. Missing MIL who we lost to cancer ~3 years ago

++ lost a younger brother in recent weeks.

He lives with us.

Wife (aka Darling) is hanging on by a thread with thoughts of self harm (permanent type)

S1 is battling thought of self harm. Won't talk to me but has the support of a youth leader.

S2 has in my opinion emerging mental health issues. Demonstrating BPD traits like his mum. Asked me recently if I though he was bi-polar. Obviously had been researching how he was feeling. ( I know this as he was flagged in a safe search net filtering report at school).

S3 is about to loose NDIS funding because he is doing really well. This is great, but the reason he is doing really well is because of the support services that NDIS funding has enabled .

And there are so many other connected 'balls.in the air' that are affecting all of this, and it is my job to juggle and keep them going.

That's my snap shot story,

But don't for a moment think I am alone in being overwhelmed with all that life has.to offer.

Despite all of this we are blessed in many ways.

My biggest challenge is feeling lonely in a house full of people.

I crave connection that people closest to me are incapable of, mostly thanks to MI 🥺

Sorry for the vent but that is the basis for my sinking boat meme.

And I should add, that despite all of this, things are so much brighter than they have been in recent years.

We recently had a brief period of sunshine on the horizon and I let my guard down.

*edit/ add for context... (don't know what happened to the last part of that message)
but now we are back to dysfunctional 😞 But still better than where we have been.