Husband with Biploar 2 how to support myself, him and my kids

My husband was diagnosed with Biploar 2 over 3 years ago but it has been a bit of an uphill battle for a long time prior to that. In the past and when he is in a mood swing he goes into a self destruction mode. Secret drinking, agitated, anger, arrogant and just not present. I'm walking around on egg shells and I'm finding it very very hard to separate the illness from who he is as a person. Since he was diagnosed I haven't received any support. It's only when its at crisis point that i reach out to friends but i'm in a awful state and i go into panic mode myself.My oldest daughter is now on very high alert now and even though she has a good relationship with my husband she doesn't want to be left alone with him if i go out or go away. I'm running on empty and now that he has lost his job again ( 6 jobs in 7 years) I'm just at a loss. I love him and want to support him but I just don't have it in me as I'm just on edge most of the time. Im working with someone to help me with this as i know this is a trigger for him too.

I feel my friends are also losing patience with it all too and more so like me don't fully understand the severity of the illness.

I find in social situations I'm also on edge because of fear of what he might say. He can be quite arrogant when out and disrespectful to others especially when he is drinking. Therefore I'm shutting down invitations and isolating myself. Would love to share some strategies with others around this. I feel this is our last chance of staying together and the next step will be to support him from afar.