FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

Living with Loneliness

Living with Loneliness

Feelings of loneliness occur when there is a mismatch between the amount of meaningful social connection we want and the amount we have. So while loneliness can be caused by isolation, it can also be felt when surrounded by people, and in friendships, family and intimate relationships. It is a personal feeling of social isolation

Loneliness can be really hard to manage and studies have shown it can lead to poorer physical and mental health. Physically, loneliness can cause low energy, poorer sleep, headaches, worse experience of physical pain and addiction. Mental health wise, it can cause anxiety, depression, poorer self esteem and thoughts of suicide. Often this can even lead to further isolation and feelings of loneliness for each person.

In Australia, 1 in 3 people report feeling lonely and socially isolated. This means that there is a chance many of us here on the forums experience loneliness, especially given that many of us have or care for those with lived experience of complex mental health concerns. It’s important for us to share that experience and find connection and support.

Questions for the community:

  1. What does loneliness look like for you?
  2. How does loneliness feel and how does it impact your wellbeing?
  3. Are the periods of the day or year when loneliness is harder to manage?
  4. What have you done to manage loneliness, do you have tips for others?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We recognise that loneliness is experienced differently for everyone and we welcome all stories this space. Please remember to be safe and respectful of eachother, you can find the guidelines here. If you experience any distress whilst reading along with this discussion, please reach out to Lifeline 13 11 14 or the SANE Help Centre to speak to a counsellor.

834 replies

551 - 560 of 834
1...555657...84

In response to: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

Awwww @Lila3 ,

I'm so sorry to hear.

I can agree with being none the wiser after hospital visits. I was told I had BPD. So I asked what I can do about it? They said "mindfulness"... I'm like... "thanks" and left....

I battled on my own and carried the stigma of BPD for many years before finally getting the support i needed.

I'm here for you. I've only just sent a few BPD groups to other members if you are interested.

In response to: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

Hello @Lila3

Abuse does that to you hey! Leaves you soul empty with no one to trust until you find that trusting animal! For me it was any animal- the frilled lizards who inhabited the garden, the mice who stole the chicken food, the feral cats who gave birth to their kittens in our back yard too! Longed for one to stay as a pet! Dad did his best to destroy the mice and if he succeeded ever I would give the poor little body a proper funeral in a little coffin of whatever I could rally! The kittens would get tamed by frequent handling and advertised by Mum as some exotically rare breed so always went to homes and we were again left with no pet except the frilled lizards who would freeze on your arm if you managed to catch one! A rewarding relationship in deed! And then we got Guinea pigs! Wow! Now there’s a soft cuddly rewarding pet! Hours of satisfaction teaching them school, how to line up and march through the garden (really just running to hide from demon children) and how to sit at table and eat politely (we were good at pretending).
loved those little animals! Of course Mum always knew when they’d be taken to bed! Nothing more incontinent than a Guinea Pig! We didn’t care but Mum did! As you say- something always to be in trouble for! My granddaughter did not want her Guinea Pigs so I was happy to take over care of her little pigs! A good memory and one I forgot to thank her for much later in life! Forgot about little pigs! Until your post about getting lost in the eyes of dogs! I wanted one so badly! Had one much later in life- a beautiful dog who always greets you as someone they love, wants to be near you, takes every word you say as Gospel, walks everywhere with you, is grateful for every Titbit thrown his way and even though as tall as your upper leg, wants to cuddle into your lap for companionship! I miss him too!

im sorry your childhood was so lonely and full of disapproval because even if we forgive one day, it never cures the heartfelt harm and inner loneliness that stays, recurs, and causes us to look inward with doubt! And when advised to love myself- well I know that’s not going to happen because I can’t define love or the experience of love, simply because it was denied from earliest experience and memory! So I try positive things like making cards (any like birthday, Christmas, anniversary, best wishes, etc) simply because making something nice makes you feel better anyway! I think they’re nice and gave 6 of them to a friend to give for Christmas and received in return a critique on how to improve them! I’ll send her a gift card next time!
hang in there is all I can say! I wonder why sometimes but I’m still hanging in there!
hope you find a warm dog to cuddle and someone to share your tears and maybe, just maybe, hope will bring one or two of those warm fuzzies you read about that do touch our soul!

In response to: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

Thanks @tonys

i just so love your writing- I could read what you write all day! I’ve been at appointments and oh to be so depressing- funeral planning in case they’re right and I’m in the last stages of life! Denial suits me better but I’d rather be safe and prepared and no one can complain and if I live to be the age of Mum and Dad then I can say “I told you so” to these negative people making dire predictions I don’t support! I’ve always been a great believer in Murphy’s Law- the full version- and the way I see it- prepare in detail and distribute to everyone and you won’t need it for quite some time! Stay in denial and Oops! Everything will go wrong and you won’t have time to fix it!
but seriously @@Tony’s you have such a beautiful way with words I could stay up all night reading your posts!
I would love your talent

keep looking after your inner soul and stay kind to you!

@Doldips15

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

Thanks @doldip. I'm doing pretty good.

But I do like to reflect, ponder & revist those turbulent memories. It reminds me... I made it here. A long ride. Nahh send another of those cards lol

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

Hey @Lila3 I tried to post a photo but that didn’t work either! Not good at this

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

Hey @Doldip15 , is it because your photo exceeds the amount of MBs? Or is it because there's a yellow triangle that appears in place of your pic?

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

Nothing appears usually! One said too many megabytes so I chose less but the others- pick 2 and still nothing so don’t know what I’m doing wrong

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

I have that issue too @Doldip15 .

So what I do is take a screen shot of the photo and shrink it small on my phone and then send it 🙂

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

Thanks @Thyme

I’ll try that but have to get off these paining feet right now!

I’ll let you know if I have a win!

@Doldips15

In response to: Re: Living with Loneliness

Re: Living with Loneliness

Thankyou @Doldip15 . Feel I should apologise. I had to resubmit that bit of work a dozen times before they finally took a slightly different version of it. Only a few saw the underlying message.

Then I saw your words. They all turned inside me and I searched for a hastily wrapped gift. Then I thought, Maybe you'll

get it. You got the original draft.

I just wanted you to know there are more people that care for you than you may realize. We all come from our own fields of battle and bring the different gifts familiar to us. Its a big jump to hope they may be

Okay for you and I thankyou for accepting. The 'show n tell' of life brings many different people, with many shaped gifts.

I always think the point is, someone needs us, someone comes.. Please be gentle on yourself friend. I'll look in on you tomorrow.

@Thyme @Lila3 @cloudcore @PeppyPatti .. @Oaktree @Glisten tonys

551 - 560 of 834
1...555657...84