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Living with Loneliness

Living with Loneliness

Feelings of loneliness occur when there is a mismatch between the amount of meaningful social connection we want and the amount we have. So while loneliness can be caused by isolation, it can also be felt when surrounded by people, and in friendships, family and intimate relationships. It is a personal feeling of social isolation

Loneliness can be really hard to manage and studies have shown it can lead to poorer physical and mental health. Physically, loneliness can cause low energy, poorer sleep, headaches, worse experience of physical pain and addiction. Mental health wise, it can cause anxiety, depression, poorer self esteem and thoughts of suicide. Often this can even lead to further isolation and feelings of loneliness for each person.

In Australia, 1 in 3 people report feeling lonely and socially isolated. This means that there is a chance many of us here on the forums experience loneliness, especially given that many of us have or care for those with lived experience of complex mental health concerns. It’s important for us to share that experience and find connection and support.

Questions for the community:

  1. What does loneliness look like for you?
  2. How does loneliness feel and how does it impact your wellbeing?
  3. Are the periods of the day or year when loneliness is harder to manage?
  4. What have you done to manage loneliness, do you have tips for others?

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We recognise that loneliness is experienced differently for everyone and we welcome all stories this space. Please remember to be safe and respectful of eachother, you can find the guidelines here. If you experience any distress whilst reading along with this discussion, please reach out to Lifeline 13 11 14 or the SANE Help Centre to speak to a counsellor.

834 replies

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In response to: Living with Loneliness

Re: Loneliness

hi @PeppyPatti i like shopping online as well, i can relate to that. it is soothing sometimes to feel like i've scored a bargain. Wether i save any money is questionable.

i understand loneliness, i like my own company and have friends but i don't have family. i'm really well cared for by a community around me, neighbours, people i go to classes with, and friends. I have made a lot of new friends since i moved house. I feel a bit lonely because i dont have a partner, and i'd like to get married at some point, or have a family of my own.

In response to: Re: Loneliness

Re: Loneliness

Dear @EternalFlower

Yes, I know that feeling. I’m in a relationship where it’s very very good but little things spark me and I get this —

I am alone

which BS but cause my parents are/were/am narcissists I suppose that my go to feeling is feeling lonely.

What classes are you doing?

Im not alone but how I grew up, I was lonely.

My therapist, well I’ve seen her for years and years……where I live, Perth, Western Australia its a small community in parts of the Psychology world and She’s actually met my parents and told me that they are worse that I’ve described.

Thats. Nice.

But I like being alone. I like hanging out with my ex husband but not too long…..just enough.

I like just staying at home and that causes many disruptions in past friendships.

Are you friends with your neighbours? I have one friend who is a neighbour. She is an older lady and is very involved with her adult children.

My partner and I flew over to Hobart to meet up with his past friends. I met a large group of lonely males in the late 30s to early 40s. I was surprised that they were all so alone and single. Decent people, good jobs and kind.

How does one meet someone these days ??

In response to: Living with Loneliness

Re: Loneliness

Hugs to you @Shaz51 …..

Hope that you have a lovely night. Im about not drink a hot chocolate…home made…..

In response to: Living with Loneliness

Re: Loneliness

T B H.. to be honest. Thanks @tyme And @Lite for asking the question. Well @Lite. I read your letters and should join the procession, expressing words of empathy too. Unfortunately the inside

of my head looks like a third world electronics waste recycling tip, so I more often than not, forget to defrost my 'sorry sausage's' before bringing them to the,. . . . welcome new and lonely persons picnic..

There are just so many Lonely people wandering the dark. They find there way to mountain retreats like this one. Some are obvious. some, not so. The long, manifestation fingers of loneliness, wander the

dark nights looking for minds without fortresses and lay siege, and feast from within, all the way to our skin . ..

But I feed on those loneliness ghosts. Actively hunt them. I never had family, or friends, till the twilight years of my life. The gardens I grew inside me all those

years I was alone, flourished way beyond anything I can grow now.

Time spent in loneliness, can be the most productive of our lives if only we can dive through the rough

sea's and swim way down to explore the reefs of imagination below. The finest art, saddest most

beautiful songs, and prophetic words, where not spawned in the place of false friend office parties

or resentful Christmases at Julius Caesars, hidden dagger, family gatherings. They come from the

solitary cellars we all do hard time in now and then, . . . or always.

How we deal with loneliness is ultimately up to us. I use it, to eat itself, and the leftovers are in

my art and buskers hat. I wish you peace @Lite , and welcome. Hello @Lila3 .

@tyme @cloudcore ... @PeppyPatti . I love the thought behind your picture selection and the pics.. @EternalFlower .. sorry pink@Former-Member and @Glisten. @Former-Member n @Bunniekins

I'm meant to be working will have a good catch up next week. @Oaktree, hope the storm passes soon. Listen to the shells its left on your shore. One may just have the answers sought.

@ENKELI @Emelia8 @Shaz51 @Doldip15 @Jynx @TAB @StuF @Tilz

@Meowmy hope you found peace in church today. @Appleblossom and @Historylover and all

the other beautiful folk out there.

I better straighten my Tux n tie, and get back to the other people. I'll have to . . . Not.. TBH @tyme

and pretend I'm normal or I'll be out of a job. . . lol. kind thoughts tonys Mb1

Be a few days before I can get back.. over n out.

In response to: Re: Loneliness

Re: Loneliness

G'day @tonys 👍😎

In response to: Re: Loneliness

Re: Loneliness

@tonys truth teller, poet laureate, my bestie Huckleberry.

Human connection is an amazing thing.

I have never lacked the ability to find people that inspire and teach me.


If someone is my friend, you can be sure they are better than me, at something.

@tyme @tonys @EternalFlower @cloudcore @PeppyPatti @Former-Member @Lite @ENKELI

Nothing is permanent. Change is constant. The only thing I can control is what I do.

G

In response to: Re: Loneliness

Re: Loneliness

Always love the insights you and @tonys bring, @Glisten 🙂🌺

the winds blow through the long, aged branches of the willows that are memories in my mind, loosening their leaves to flutter to new places, and gently rippling the rivers long stilled by loss 💜🙂🌺

In response to: Re: Loneliness

Re: Loneliness

Dear @tonys

Again your writing !

Writing exactly how I feel. Wonderful stuff !!

You write this -

"How we deal with loneliness is ultimately up to us." 

Yes, it is true. Is this why my youngest son won't talk to me ? He doesn't think anyone understands his brain tumour and this emotion maybe triggers emotional deregulation and therefore he is lonely and angry at me ?

Or am I thinking too much ?

@tyme @Lite

@@Former-Member@ @Glisten @Lila3

@cloudcore @Glisten @Former-Member @tyme @ @Bunniekins @Former-Member

@ENKELI

@StuF @Shaz51 @TAB @Jynx @Meowmy @Appleblossom

@Historylover @Doldip15

In response to: Living with Loneliness

Re: Loneliness

Hey @EternalFlower ,

No stress at all. Text communication can be tricky sometimes.

It's all good. However, if there's anything in relation to the post you feel you need some support with, you are welcome to email us 🙂

In response to: Re: Loneliness

Re: Loneliness

@PeppyPatti you’re worried about your son and rightly so.

As my children became adults, I had to learn, it’s not about me.

The most difficult skill I have to exercise is holding space.

It’s my first time at doing life. I don’t have any advice.

G

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