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Living with Loneliness

Living with Loneliness

Feelings of loneliness occur when there is a mismatch between the amount of meaningful social connection we want and the amount we have. So while loneliness can be caused by isolation, it can also be felt when surrounded by people, and in friendships, family and intimate relationships. It is a personal feeling of social isolation

Loneliness can be really hard to manage and studies have shown it can lead to poorer physical and mental health. Physically, loneliness can cause low energy, poorer sleep, headaches, worse experience of physical pain and addiction. Mental health wise, it can cause anxiety, depression, poorer self esteem and thoughts of suicide. Often this can even lead to further isolation and feelings of loneliness for each person.

In Australia, 1 in 3 people report feeling lonely and socially isolated. This means that there is a chance many of us here on the forums experience loneliness, especially given that many of us have or care for those with lived experience of complex mental health concerns. It’s important for us to share that experience and find connection and support.

Questions for the community:

  1. What does loneliness look like for you?
  2. How does loneliness feel and how does it impact your wellbeing?
  3. Are the periods of the day or year when loneliness is harder to manage?
  4. What have you done to manage loneliness, do you have tips for others?

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We recognise that loneliness is experienced differently for everyone and we welcome all stories this space. Please remember to be safe and respectful of eachother, you can find the guidelines here. If you experience any distress whilst reading along with this discussion, please reach out to Lifeline 13 11 14 or the SANE Help Centre to speak to a counsellor.

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In response to: Living with Loneliness

Re: Loneliness

While I'm thinking of it - dating apps are quite toxic. I have dropped off the grid on them.
I have an account and I get matched. But I am not myself and I am finding my path and calling in life. I find it's a distraction to worry about sex and dating. I also came to a realisation not long ago about how I need more genuine social connections in my life. I am losing it. And I fear it may not return

In response to: Living with Loneliness

Re: Loneliness

Sorry last thing I promise.

Fakeness is hard to navigate in others. How can I be more genuine when others are not?

But I keep being genuine. I keep trying. Life is not rich and worth it if you can't be genuine DESPITE what is going on around you

In response to: Living with Loneliness

Re: Loneliness

Hey @MDT just stopping by to check in with you. Sounds like you're doing a lot of reflecting at the moment, especially about relationships in your life and the difficulty of navigating it all in the modern world. We simply weren't meant to exist like this, in my opinion - so disconnected from ourselves and nature and each other.

Dating apps are daunting! I wish there was one that was just for making friends! Or even for finding shared interests - I mean there's so many social media platforms it's hard to actually find a welcoming space. I think this is why I spend a lot of time on Reddit, and only join very specific facebook groups that I know are safe spaces.

I don't think you have to know where you are going in life to be able to find people who can accept you just as you are. Sometimes I have to remind myself that pretty much everyone is looking to connect - the trick is finding people you can feel comfortable to be yourself around. And then of course, the other trick is working out how to be yourself!

I've always seen you as a very genuine person, so kudos for carrying that energy with you into the world - it sorely needs more people like you

In response to: Re: Loneliness

Re: Loneliness

I completely agree @Jynx

"I don't think you have to know where you are going in life to be able to find people who can accept you just as you are"

Perhaps I just wish it was more common practice

In response to: Living with Loneliness

Re: Loneliness

@chibam I'm so sorry to hear of how people have treated you, those sound like really harmful relationships. I admire the courage you have to continuely show up in social situations, in spite of your experiences. You mentioned that, while superficial, you've felt less lonely amongst strangers. Is that something you feel you could explore more?

"I live not out of willingness, but out of bitter obligation." This is something that used to ring so true for myself. Hold on to that hope for love, you are deserving of it

In response to: Re: Loneliness

Re: Loneliness

Hi @cloudcore @chibam

I do hope you're having good days

My mindset is warped atm as lots is happening.

I have taken a quick 5 Min break from my work

May i just list a few things here to process

- this girl I spoke to earlier has not replied and I believe she is either too busy or is just avoiding me. So I'll just do the same. What bugs me most about it is that we shared a lot of history with our mental health. Idk. I guess I just wanted empathy. The ship has sailed. But its okay. I at least tried to go aboard.

- I am doing some stuff with work I don't like. This is part of the job. But perhaps I just need to look past it. In another 2 weeks I will know if this is for me.

- I am struggling a lot with feelings of loneliness.

In response to: Living with Loneliness

Re: Loneliness

@MDT I think it takes a lot of bravery and kindness to let someone go/not lead someone on when we ourselves are yearning for connection. I can see you have a great heart, self awareness and values which will carry you really far

On your point about losing genuine connections and other's being fake/ lacking authencity, your stress and frustration is completely understandable. I feel this at times too, especially with social media. Occassionly though I do hold onto my vulnerability and honesty with others, despite their inability to be the same, and those relationships do change over time. I think others are often just afraid/lack trust in others to be genuine and need someone to take the plunge first. Sometimes though people are just disinterest in being true/real, and in those situations being genuine is more about feeling good about myself, rather than forcing a connection with them. What is something about yourself that you always stay true to?

In response to: Re: Loneliness

Re: Loneliness

@MDT I also just saw your post, I'm sorry to hear that this person has not responded to you. That can be hurtful Do you often feel lonely at work?

In response to: Re: Loneliness

Re: Loneliness

hey @cloudcore
thanks for writing that - there is a lot of truth in it

that question about staying true to myself is a hard one because i actually feel that this ear has been about staying true to an idea or a motivation as opposed to myself

It's hard at this stage.

I am going to bring my psych appointment forward again

There's a lot going on

But i do echo what you said about so much.

I'm really messed up atm

In response to: Re: Loneliness

Re: Loneliness

not lonely no @cloudcore
its a good group of people and they are good to chat with

I think it's just hard with everyone in life now

I feel really lonely still 😕
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