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Living with Loneliness

Living with Loneliness

Feelings of loneliness occur when there is a mismatch between the amount of meaningful social connection we want and the amount we have. So while loneliness can be caused by isolation, it can also be felt when surrounded by people, and in friendships, family and intimate relationships. It is a personal feeling of social isolation

Loneliness can be really hard to manage and studies have shown it can lead to poorer physical and mental health. Physically, loneliness can cause low energy, poorer sleep, headaches, worse experience of physical pain and addiction. Mental health wise, it can cause anxiety, depression, poorer self esteem and thoughts of suicide. Often this can even lead to further isolation and feelings of loneliness for each person.

In Australia, 1 in 3 people report feeling lonely and socially isolated. This means that there is a chance many of us here on the forums experience loneliness, especially given that many of us have or care for those with lived experience of complex mental health concerns. It’s important for us to share that experience and find connection and support.

Questions for the community:

  1. What does loneliness look like for you?
  2. How does loneliness feel and how does it impact your wellbeing?
  3. Are the periods of the day or year when loneliness is harder to manage?
  4. What have you done to manage loneliness, do you have tips for others?

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We recognise that loneliness is experienced differently for everyone and we welcome all stories this space. Please remember to be safe and respectful of eachother, you can find the guidelines here. If you experience any distress whilst reading along with this discussion, please reach out to Lifeline 13 11 14 or the SANE Help Centre to speak to a counsellor.

834 replies

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In response to: Living with Loneliness

Re: Loneliness

@Former-Member it sounds like you have a clear idea of what you want for your life, I hope you are able to find a good partner and complete your MH cert.

Thank you for sharing @MDT . Birthdays seem to be tough for both of us hey, despite the differences in reasons we experience loneliness. Great point about social media too, I've definitely had to cut down my exposure to fb and instagram etc to curb feelings of loneliness. Well done for setting those boundaries for yourself, it's can be really difficult find peace when we're constantly flooded with reminders of things we are missing. What kind/good things do you do for yourself?

I'm also wondering what character traits you are both looking for in partners, @Former-Member and @MDT ?

In response to: Living with Loneliness

Re: Loneliness

@MDT , if I may...


In response to: Re: Loneliness

Re: Loneliness

@cloudcore @MDT I know this is way too soon in a relationship, but considering the negativity in our lives. Which we do not want or did not ask for, as different as they may be, make a pact we will move on from this for the better and to keep working on ourselves in midst the turmoil. I wish the best for you guys, wouldn't wish MH on anyone - but I want to focus on positivity and a better tomorrow so cheers to that upto you guys I guess now...

In response to: Living with Loneliness

Re: Loneliness

Hi @cloudcore

Loneliness.. I have been alone for most of my life.. I was always the black sheep and was always over shadowed by my older sister and her achievements. Then after high school I was overshadowed again by my career choice. My sister went into medicine while I went into building and construction (its not a career for girls!)..

I never dated any guys afraid to get in trouble by my parents and was travelling overseas building contracts.. I was never the girl that flirted or went out on dates.. I was the wing girl for guy freinds to find girls in the club. Even going out with the girls I was the designated Bob because I dont drink.

Fast forward I started businesses and lost them.. changed careers 3 times and now a single mum and caring for my elderly parents who have early onset dementia and alzheimers.

I am always caring for someone and always having to give up something for someone.. I feel lonely as I have never felt that love connection like my younger sister and well I never had any breaks from caring of others.

Loneliness to me is just dealing with everyone pain and no-one seeing you. Smiling to let everyone know they are ok when inside your lost..

This is what I think loneliness is..

In response to: Re: Loneliness

Re: Loneliness

Lol @Former-Member
I like this and will use it

In response to: Re: Loneliness

Re: Loneliness

@cloudcore tbh I don't know exactly what I want in a partner. But I do know what I don't want. I don't want someone who is vindictive or who will seek to manipulate me because of my MH.
I want someone who can be empathetic. This girl I spoke to has her own troubles and I could relate to it. Which initially was a good thing but i see now how BPD operates and maybe it has taught me that I can't just be interested in girls who have similar experience to me.

Its hard.

In response to: Re: Loneliness

Re: Loneliness

@MIFANTCARER
You are one of those people who the world needs more of

In response to: Re: Loneliness

Re: Loneliness

Where is meaning to be found in connections with other people?

I opened my diary from my travels last night before bed and found myself reading through my entries.

It reminded me of how when I was in NYC I kept remembering and thinking it wouod be nice to be doing this trip with someone special and dear to me.

I also remember an old friend of mine who did exactly that with his partner. But months later I found out they had been fighting a lot while there. Perhaps it was a maturity thing idk. Both were young and made silly choices.

I guess when I was in NYC I was curious about the world and I still am very much curious. I learned on that trip, how to see myself as an individual.

But on that topic of loneliness and romance. I am actually reminded of my grandparents and my parents as well who both travelled in their youth together. I felt like I had missed out on this. But I do believe there is time still.

Taking all that into account - better to be feeling the raw feeling of loneliness and desire for someone else to have close to you than to fill that void with an attitude that says "anyone is better than nothing".

Yes I felt loneliness this year.

In response to: Re: Loneliness

Re: Loneliness

Well I guess I can work it on my own lol, just a difference of opinion I suppose and different values @MDT @cloudcore thanks for opening up and I was just going with the flow I guess. @MIFANTCARER Good to know they're still good people out there - with good family morals.

In response to: Re: Loneliness

Re: Loneliness

you're a good bloke @Former-Member
I see a lot of similarity in our lives
You inspire me dude
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