I feel I’m not good enough

Hi there @BlueBay

I'm sorry that you're feeling that you're not good enough😢. Believe me when I say that you are worthy and you are good enough! You are a very special person who has lots of knowledge and experiences to share and I value all of these skills in you as a person. I've really enjoyed having you around the Sane forums as I like the information that you share to me and others here in the discussion forums.

What has caused you to feel this way may I ask? Has someone said something to you? Or are you just going through a bad patch with your mental health? Maybe you can speak to someone on your support team if things are getting hard for you? Are you safe? Maybe you could do a self care activity to help you with your feelings and to boost your confidence levels? Maybe something like writing down your thoughts and challenging them in a journal so you can see that what you are thinking and feeling are just thoughts which are definitely not true.

I know you are a very creative and strong person and I know you will get through this rough period. You just have to keep on believing that you are valued and you mean a lot of things to a lot of people, including myself!

Take care forumite friend!

Judi9877☺️💐

@BlueBay you have always struck me as a good, kind person.

But I do know how that dreadful "not good enough" thing hurts, from experience. Sending hugs 💙

Thanks @Judi9877 @NatureLover

It's my inner critic voice telling me loudly how bad I am

how I'm not good enough to make things sbd sell

how people will judge me and laugh at how bad they are

it's my head my voice

seeing my psychologist today face to face first time

thanks for your kind words xxxxx

Hope the psychologist goes well today @BlueBay 💙

Hi @NatureLover the session was terrible. He told me that the results from my mental health questionnaire was very severe. Very severe depression, anxiety and complex ptsd.
so what do I do.
I wish he needed we told me. I hate him.
I want to lash out. I want to self harm.
Im never going to get better.
why is it so severe?

@Emelia8 @HenryX @Shaz51 @BPDSurvivor @oceangirl @Snowie @MDT

Hi @BlueBay ,

Sorry things have been so tough for you.

In the past, I've noted that my mental health questionnaires have been tainted by what is going on at a particular time. For example, if I'm having a crap day, my questionnaire results are somewhat skewed accordingly.

Hence, please don't get caught up in the quantitative results of the questionnaires. Rather, look back on your thread and posts to see how far you've come and the situations you couldn't handle in the past, you can now overcome.

Hope that makes sense.

BPDSurvivor

Hello @BlueBay

I would like you please, to take a deep breath, relax and read the "Reference Book Material" below which is my wording of the information from a reference book that I am reading as part of my own therapy and treatment.

What this material offers is a structure where you and I, and any other people who can identify with these issues may:

• first learn to recognise the problem
• next look at why those difficulties and issues occured
• then recognise that it was very reasonable to use the learned adaptations of behaviour in the past in response to those circumstances.
• Some of those adaptations, that we are still using, are causing us harm and are disruptive in our lives and relationships and therefore, we need to make changes
• you and I, are now beginning to recognise that because those behaviours were learned and developed in response to certain conditions and circumstances in the past, you and I can learn and adapt again to our present conditions and circumstances
• That means change, but we learned before and we are better at learning, changing and adapting now, with deliberation and awareness
• So our trip, or journey, with the assistance of a good therapist, is going to be an interesting and profitable journey {in so many ways}, if that is what we want, and we are prepared to work towards a better place in our lives, for ourselves, and others who are important to us.

With My Very Best Wishes

@HenryX

Reference Book Material

Exploring the Origins and Adaptive Value of the Modes

{This material relates to schema therapy but may also apply to other therapeutic relationships}

Wherever I use the word "client" read "You and I" or "You and me"

That , means @BlueBay and @HenryX

When the client's modes have been identified, the next step is to explore how the modes originally developed, with the intention of considering how the client's original coping styles were a product of adaptation to the situation in which they first emerged. The reason for this exploration is that chronically depressed individuals often benefit from seeing and understanding that there are valid reasons for the development of those original emotional, behavioural and cognitive styles. These clients often think of themselves as defective because of the existence of the depression that they have experienced for a number of years. Consequently, it can be a process of validation for them to explore how their depressive style made sense in response to some earlier stressor(s) in their lives, and how this style has become habituated and expressed through the modes that have been identified in the process of therapy. Exploration of the valid origins and reasons for their subsequently manifested depressive style with the clinician enhances their experience of feeling cared for and supported through the therapy relationship.

{This material may sound formal, but I am just offering it to you for information. The whole process for you and me is guided by a therapist who will be the one dealing with the formal side. This is simply to show you that there is a way through our internal maze of feelings to a better place.}

---

@BlueBay wrote:

Hi @NatureLover the session was terrible. He told me that the results from my mental health questionnaire was very severe. Very severe depression, anxiety and complex ptsd.
so what do I do.
I wish he needed we told me. I hate him.
I want to lash out. I want to self harm.
Im never going to get better.
why is it so severe?

---

Oh no, @BlueBay !

I wish I could encourage you that it will get better...I spent 3 years intensely suicidal, plus much of my childhood and adult life on and off too. Have had lots of healing through years of therapy, and haven't been suicidal now for 13 years...it can and will get better for you. Sending lots of hugs 💙

I'm will to bet that you are much more than enough.

@wellwellwellnez and @BlueBay

@wellwellwellnez, I agree whole-heartedly with your comment. I believe, from her comments, that @BlueBay seriously underestimates her capactities, capabilities and strengths. Each of these attributes has been compromised by the imposition of constraints, externally imposed initially, and now part of her adopted and internalised, self-imposed restrictions and constraints. All of which, I believe, with suitable and adequate guidance and support can be changed.

What we have come to know and consider as an integral part of ourselves involves a significant shift in self-perception, to enable us to move to a new better place in life. That, I believe, needs to be developed from what the psychologist's feedback and report has presented, toward a new, much more functional and rewarding position.

While we recognise our present position and its weaknesses, we can also consider that there is already a sound foundation on which to build new or modified aspects of our person and position that will lead to a far better place than where we may be at the present. Our established modes of function and operation and some aspects of our personalities and attributes are not necessarily fixed, as in, "set in concrete". In other words, the difference between where we are at, and where we want to be, is awareness of where we are at, confidence in our ability to challenge our present position, and belief in our capacity to move to a better place and position in life. Such activity is normally best done with the guidance of a qualified therapist.

With My Very Best Wishes

@HenryX