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Some words from my mind

Some words from my mind

I feel like I've hit my peak - good partner, good job, a puppy, good friends. But the last year - my 27 years of trauma has started to unravel in front of my eyes and I am doing my best to heal. I really am.

I feel like I was born and then handed all these heavys bags, one after the other. Suddenly and all at once, they became too heavy to carry. These bags were passed on from my parents and they had them passed on from theirs, so on so on. I find it really difficult to process, you know? I'm trying to heal from things that were never meant to be mine in the first place.

I love my strength, my courage, my willingness to pick myself back up and keep going, but it's hard and I do relapse some days. I feel like everyone that was meant to love me, always left and when I feel like I let someone down or myself down, that comes with a lot of hurt and fear that I always put back on myself.

I do the right things, i speak out loud, i seek help. I know about fight or flight and mental health and the effects of childhood trauma and I know why I feel the things I feel. I know I'm healing but I'm just tired.

Sending love to all.

6 replies

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In response to: Some words from my mind

Re: Some words from my mind

Hello and welcome to Sane forums @R-KeepSmiling . I'm glad you have found your way here, where I hope you will receive the same support, advice and encouragement that I have received.

I can relate to your 'lifetime of trauma', it is a heavy burden to carry. I can also relate to the loss of important people in your life. It sounds as though you have done everything possible to overcome your trauma's, so well done to you on that. It is certainly not an easy process and it wears us down. Yes, it appears that you have done everything right. I guess its just a matter now of accepting that we will always have the occasional setback from which we need to pick ourselves back up again, dust ourselves off, and commit to keep on going. I think you have a very good understanding of your MH, and thats half the battle. So well done you. 😊

Sending some love back to you @R-KeepSmiling and keep on smiling. 💕😃

Emelia 🌸

In response to: Some words from my mind

Re: Some words from my mind

@R-KeepSmiling Welcome to the forums. I hope you find some connection here. While your experience is unique to you, there are many people here with similar experiences so please know you are not alone. I'm wondering what support you have in place?

💝

In response to: Re: Some words from my mind

Re: Some words from my mind

Thank you @Paperdaisy I have always seeked support through a psychologist or online research/videos. I find it easier to talk about my mental health with people that don't know me as I feel it allows me to separate those difficult days and that side of me with the life I want to live and am trying to grow for myself. It is really on the bad days that I wish I had a network and I'm really glad I joined this, having such a quick response is really nice, especially with like minded people that are going through similar things x

In response to: Re: Some words from my mind

Re: Some words from my mind

Thank you @Emelia8 💞 such kind words from someone I don't know. Such a quick response is really humbling and I hope you are also doing the best you can! X

In response to: Re: Some words from my mind

Re: Some words from my mind

I can understand that @R-KeepSmiling and it's important to do what you are most comfortable with. It sounds like you are doing all the right things to look after your mental health. You will find some lovely, supportive people here so feel free to have a look at our different topics and see if anything resonates with you. Thanks again for being here💝🌼

In response to: Re: Some words from my mind

Re: Some words from my mind

@R-KeepSmiling

Hearing you about the heavy bags passed on through the generations.

Often it makes us resilient and we get up and get going, but sometimes we are vulnerable.

The world is not a level playing field at all.

Welcome

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