R-KeepSmilingCasual Contributor
Some words from my mind
I feel like I've hit my peak - good partner, good job, a puppy, good friends. But the last year - my 27 years of trauma has started to unravel in front of my eyes and I am doing my best to heal. I really am.
I feel like I was born and then handed all these heavys bags, one after the other. Suddenly and all at once, they became too heavy to carry. These bags were passed on from my parents and they had them passed on from theirs, so on so on. I find it really difficult to process, you know? I'm trying to heal from things that were never meant to be mine in the first place.
I love my strength, my courage, my willingness to pick myself back up and keep going, but it's hard and I do relapse some days. I feel like everyone that was meant to love me, always left and when I feel like I let someone down or myself down, that comes with a lot of hurt and fear that I always put back on myself.
I do the right things, i speak out loud, i seek help. I know about fight or flight and mental health and the effects of childhood trauma and I know why I feel the things I feel. I know I'm healing but I'm just tired.
Sending love to all.