Unbearable Loneliness, Anxiety and feeling overwhelmed

Hey @Engineer

Thanks for you sharing your story and feelings. Have you tried a meditation app such as smiling mind to see if you can calm your feelings? On a task such as this, could you try a podcast and play it in the background while you work away? What things interest you and i will let you know if i have suggestions.

Hi @Engineer

Hope your well. I was feeling the same when we had to move to a new home as the townhouse was not big enough for my parents and my little toddler.

Even though I had them I was alone in packing and unpacking, arranging moving trucks and just setting things up.

Unpacking was so overwhelming that I started to cry and really stayed stagment. I eventually did the necessary unpacking but I left the rest at the spare room where I am unpacking them slowly.

Im a new single mum and I am caring for my parents who are dealing with dementia and alzheimers. So its really hard to be alone but I am alone. Seeing your parents loosing who they are is very lonely.

My advise is just unpack the necessary things like kitchen stuff and bedroom and then just do one box at a time. try to do it early in the morning in the weekend and put some joyful music. I listened to soul music to put some beat into the unpacking or the 80s and 90s songs as I know the words:)

It takes time to settle in. Trust me I moved from Sydney to Darwin and I was so alone. But gradually I lived to like being with me and then I met my ex and that fell apart..

I also had to find a doctor to assist me with my mental health plan so I can deal with current issues.. it was hard and had to go through 6 doctors until I found one that understands..

From my experiences I think if you look at it as an adventure and not a change.. it makes it easier to start all over again. Also it time to work on you.. being in a new environment means you can tackle things that you havent done in the past.

I hope this helps and I hope your adventure starts now.. Be kind to your self and allow yourself to live with you..

xx

Hi, welcome to WA. Moving across Australia is challenging when we are so far from the eastern states. I did it many years ago, so I understand fully moving to a new place on your own. I agree with 2 suggestions in posts: one the free Smiling Mind app as it will help with breathing and relaxing which will help your anxiety and the other setting up the basics and unpacking everything else over time as you adjust. That’s the benefit of living on your own, you can take as much time as you need. My suggestion is: as I don’t know your age or m/f etc, but I can say there are many different social type groups in Perth, so if you have a hobby then choosing a hobby group & going once a week could be an opportunity to start connecting, otherwise there is a organisation called Befriend a not for profit org so people new to town or just want to meet friends can select an activity to go to. Website: befriend.org.au There are people who meet in Fremantle for eats and others who go walking or just meet for a coffee. There’s a group that meets really early for a swim, all sorts of just friendship meets. If your a guy there is the men’s shed .org, you can just drop in for a cuppa and hang out I’m told. I was recently told by a friend, of his experience there which he has found so welcoming and supportive. Their web address: menshed.org there are many sheds in the Perth metro area. Another place to find out what’s available is in the local paper in your area, you can find yours online: Examiner newspapers Perth. There is a what’s on part in the local paper. While it’s important to set up your living space, it’s also important to take time to give yourself some time out and take a walk along the beach or a walk along the river in Perth, or visit kings park and just take in the view. It’s like being a tourist, plus you get to know where you live . The people in WA are very friendly and welcoming. I actually find WA & Qld people very similar, so it won’t be long and you feel at home. In sane we are asked to keep anonymous, but I am willing to chat on this forum about Perth etc or if you just want to chat, just reply. Kind regards 1stepup.

Thanks @AussieRecharger . The main App I use is Relaxing Melodies at night where water sounds, rain, crickets and other sound effects to try and calm my mind prior to sleep. I actually had a complete stranger from Facebook come and help me for 3 hours just so I had company. It was almost unbelievable.

Thanks @1stepup61 at the moment I am almost crying coming in the door to the empty villa each night. I have joined heaps of meet-up and facebook groups ... I just need one or two activities to keep me going until I can build enough social base to survive. I read about the anonymous bit in posts so didn't mention my suburb in Perth or any identifying details.

I am a male around 50 and tried Mens Sheds in Brisbane. Because I work full time Monday to Friday there were really none open on Weekends.

hi, I am glad you are meeting new people & someone came and helped you, that’s amazing and would have lifted your spirits. I looked up the men’s sheds and there are some around Perth opened on the weekend.

Vincent Men’s Shed

10 Farmer St North Perth

saturday 9am-4pm

Ring Roy Haagman 0410106448

Showgrounds Community Men’s Shed

Ashton Avenue Claremont

Saturday 9am-12noon

Ring Mike Wiggin 0456930270

Fremantle Men’s Shed

70 Shepherd St, Beaconsfield

Saturday 9am-12pm & Sunday 10am-2pm

Ring Gavin Grozier 93378614

There is also Men’s Line Australia & they have a free chat and counselling line by phone, online or video 24/7

website: mensline.org.au

call: 1300789978

i hope you have a good sleep tonight and you have a even better day tomorrow.

😊🌻 1stepup

UPDATE : My employer went out of their way to check on my mental health as they could see I was struggling especially with constant yawning and challenges in focussing. So it all came out. The chronic insomnia, the loneliness, and the feeling of being totally overwhelmed since I moved here.

They said they would support me through this tough time, and (repeatedly said) would not sack me, but immediately prevented me from participating in work (for my own safety) until I can get back in control. This is meant to be "for my own good" to give me maximum opportunity to recover.

But sitting at home idle, when I already have a major problem with loneliness, is a recipe for self destruction. I ended up temporarily going to emergency for a few nights before I could get into a private clinic to try and get my sleep patterns stablised. The stress of now being (technically ... but maybe not actually) out of a job has spiked my anxiety worse so sleep plummeted further. The Clinic have tried some things with meds and 1 1/2 hours of meditation before bed and I have miraculously slept from 9:20 pm to 4:30-5:00 am for two nights in a row. On the 2nd night I even fell asleep in the meditation class before being given the meds. Hoping for a third night tonight. So far the private clinic haven't mentioned any tools or techniques to reduce the loneliness triggers.

Still trying to get clarity with my employer over the "hurdles" I will have to pass to be deemed sufficiently well to return to work.

My question to the forum still remains ..... this is way worse when I am by myself each night. Isolation is the trigger.

Ideas for coping strategies? I can check with the Real Estate about changing the lease terms to have another tenant, or a dog, but the lease is barely 2 weeks old so the answer is going to be no. My work situation has just upped the urgency for me finding coping mechanisms.