Jenn7

Hi @Jenn7

Are you safe hunny? In harm?

Here with you, sorry if I am misunderstanding 🙏

Hey, no I'm fine just need help to help my hubby to say the right things to his brother, I'm worried he's just going to get angry and make things worse. I do confuse people when trying to explain. Basicly Dug, brother-in-law txt my hubby Mick, and tells him there's people outside, they're coming to get him etc etc all delusional and Mick gets frustrated with Dug and says things like Stop being an idiot, no ones there, get your shit together, etc. I'm just wondering what we should do when he's like that, Dug. We have had him here but ends up he grabs our knives and thinks there are people out to get him, My youngest still lives here and I just can't take the risk of anything so I've banned him from coming over.

Hi @Jenn7 ,

It's right when you say there's limited success in your husband telling his brother to 'snap out of it'. He is not well. It is probably like telling a quadriplegic to get up and walk....

It sounds like your brother in law needs medication or a medication review. If, per chance, he is a danger to himself or others, or that his delusions get worse, he may need a hospital admission to stabilise things.

Once relatively stable, he can work with a therapist/psychologist to help him manage his paranoia etc. However this is difficult to do when he is acutely unwell.

Is your brother able to take him to a gp seeing your brother has taken the role of carer?

Take care my dear. Looking forward to hearing from you. Feel free to tag me so I receive notifications of your posts. You do this by including @ before my username.

BPDSurvivor

@BPDSurvivor @Thank you for your advice really appreciate it. Yes he does put himself into hospital, but 3 to 4 days just doesn't cut it and as soon as he gets out he's txting my husband about his delusions again and my hubby really feels responsible for him, and I know he's frustrated brecause it's over his pay level. He needs real professional help but continuously and I guess that s the secret. He def is a very sick boy but it's past our help, and I guess I'm just venting because mental health is probably at it's max capacity and you can't make anyone stay in hospital, I'm a nurse and I sort of know what mental health limitations are, it's just so annoying when maybe just maybe a longer stint could make a difference. Thanks for listening and letting me bounce off you, I know there's not much can be done if he's not willing to stay, but when does it become recognised, say like dementia, where their capability of making the decision to get treatment should be taken out of their hands. Hope that makes sense, Again thanks for letting me vent.😔

@AnastasiaThank you for your advice really appreciate it. Yes he does put himself into hospital, but 3 to 4 days just doesn't cut it and as soon as he gets out he's txting my husband about his delusions again and my hubby really feels responsible for him, and I know he's frustrated brecause it's over his pay level. He needs real professional help but continuously and I guess that s the secret. He def is a very sick boy but it's past our help, and I guess I'm just venting because mental health is probably at it's max capacity and you can't make anyone stay in hospital, I'm a nurse and I sort of know what mental health limitations are, it's just so annoying when maybe just maybe a longer stint could make a difference. Thanks for listening and letting me bounce off you, I know there's not much can be done if he's not willing to stay, but when does it become recognised, say like dementia, where their capability of making the decision to get treatment should be taken out of their hands. Hope that makes sense, Again thanks for letting me vent.😔

I'm pleased you have reached out @Jenn7 . No need to thank me 🙂

If your brother-in-law is willing to go to hospital, i guess he realises something isn't right? That's a good start at least.

Moving forward, perhaps it is about acknowledging that his delusions are very real and that is why he needs to have his medication reviewed until he is stable. Yes, inpatient units are challenging, but if he goes in with the mindset that he is there for a med review, it might change things. But true, if he doesn't want to stay, and is not a danger to himself or others, no one can make him stay. Also, if he does have a good rapport with a GP or psychiatrist, he can have a med review outside an inpatient unit. They can monitor him that way. So then, it is not your husband 'doctoring' him, but rather, taking him to appointments etc.

It sure does sound like he needs ongoing monitoring, especially until he is stable. It is not sustainable that your husband continues supporting him out of his depth, esp if it is putting strain on you and your child.

Keep talking to both your husband and your brother-in-law. Perhaps it will change something. Otherwise it's like: you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink....

Hope that makes sense.

BPDSurvivor

Thinking of you @Jenn7 .

How are you travelling?