STIGMA IN MENTAL HEALTH-STILL ALIVE???

I've chosen to share my thoughts, experiences and journey under "Looking After Yourself "

The importance for me to share and get this message out is to make change, see change and encourage and educate others to do the same. Using our voice whilst in the midst of mental health issues is not something we do well for many reasons, believing you deserve to be treated a certain way because it's become your truth and also through lack of self compassion, confidence we accept much more than we deserve or is acceptable not only in our lives personally but within the mental health system as a whole and for myself this is my story that I hope no one else will have to endure or suffer through into the future as we all push to make changes in a very broken system as a whole.

2007 I was diagnosed with BPD and then I wasn't aware of the perception of the label until it very quickly became apparent. I was living in a very manipulative and abusive marriage and it was so sinister I couldn't myself identify what was happening behind closed doors that emotional abuse and gaslighting slowly sent me crazy and I believed it was me and gave into the game and life from there spiralled intensely. On that first admission my partner told his web of lies because I wasn't sure or even capable of understanding what was happening for me and his story became the foundation for the years ahead and my diagnosis came about from what he shared with a purpose and plan and I had very little input in assisting the professionals with my own version. In their eyes I fitted that criteria perfectly and exhibited all the behaviours that came with my label.

Honestly I had many admissions over the last decade throughout my marriage, long and short stays and I soon was subjected to caregivers and professionals negative, rude and unacceptable treatment with me on what they went on solely in notes and incorrect assumptions made about me by everyone else but me. That history that remained current in the system was the first thing pulled up and I was powerless to change it when I thought I was in the right place with the right help and didn't identify what was happening for me? I had no voice, I was never given an opportunity to express what I was going on in my life as a whole and share my thoughts, feelings and confusion which is what I was desperate to understand. Consequently from there forward my behaviours were seen as unacceptable and attention seeking and was time after time treated and talked to by most like a child never seeing anything deeper than my presentation in their opinions and judgment of me became so disrespectful and more damaging than they would realise. But I kept going back repeatedly seeking refuge from my madness even though I hated it, it became often my only solution and better than where I was at.

I truly believe that it's improving but was recently very disappointed whilst in ED for 48 hrs for my mental health that I experienced the exact disgusting treatment like past experiences from a RN that treated me so disrespectfully and even to the point of negligence. What he said to me was evident he had already judged me on what he saw and read on system notes and knew nothing else about why I was even in hospital. I won't even repeat what he said because you can imagine. I'm not the best at being assertive or standing up for myself, that's a lifetime of no confidence and avoiding conflict at any costs even when it directly affects me and my mental health.

The thing I wanted to really emphasis and encourage others that I put up with stigma for many years but when they totally let me down and stopped services a couple of years ago at the most crucial time in my life I was lost with what to do. So I wrote a long letter from the beginning of my journey in the public system, giving every detail up until that day and I wanted to be heard and with my own idea I researched who could I give this to, to read and make a difference and I went down the path of advocacy in mental health and emailed my story to two organisations and within 2 hrs they both replied and couldn't believe what they had read and they both were so effective in getting things in place immediately and looking at this problem. It was very liberating to be heard by people that can make sense and change. I didn't even know about advocating for myself and a lot of people wouldn't know the process either.

so I made a decision a couple of days ago to advocate for myself once again and deal with what happened in ED. So I've started the process and I was even advised that the negligence concern for one could be taken to APRAH let alone the attitude and treatment.
They asked me what outcome I'm looking for and I said it's not that, I don't want him to go to the board but I'm asking for a face to face apology and requesting that he gets further education around mental health issues and gains more insight to his behaviours.

its not just for myself that I decided to carry this out, it's more about the awareness that there are people still working in the wrong field if they have this attitude especially when there is huge mental health turnover through ED and how many others just accept this behaviour. If I can make a difference for another mental health client in the future by identifying these individuals and stigma behaviours that are in no way acceptable under any circumstances.

That's why I'm excited about lived experience peer support because people can get the knowledge what's acceptable and if it doesn't feel right have the skills and rescources to also be part of change for themselves and in the future.

I really hope this not only speaks to people who indentify with similar experiences but also encourages you also that you are human and deserve to be treated fairly and with respect always, no one is less than another no matter what their experiences but each of us can be confident to use your voice and don't let the stigma survive without a fight. Often when we are in the middle of crisis it's the last thing we think of but consider is the treatment towards you acceptable or does it effect you more than you realise.

trust me it took many years of accepting the fact that I put myself in that position and allowed it, but just to know that on these two occasions advocating for myself came help and the right organisations to advocate and assist without any judgment just support and guidance for positive outcomes and through this process we all can make changes where desperately required with the right information and rescources.