Hello

@musha,

It takes a lot courage to post on a forum as it means opening up.

Are you having suicidal thoughts?

You can talk to someone on LIfeline at 13 11 14.

You are not a burden to people. I have had the same thought and at times it is because I don't have the same life skills as others. Try and focus on what you can do well. It might be simple as in getting out of bed, having a shower, having breakfast or watching tv.

If you feel that the grind has no results, see a doctor or a psychiatrist. If you are in serious dire straits you can always go to hospital to get checked out. There is no harm done if you are ok or if you need more extensive help.

Hello to all who have responded. THANK YOU so very much. I can't believe those responses were all for me, and so very compassionate and lovely. To answer some of your collaborated questions.

I'm a mum of a 6 yr old boy. He's asllep in my bed right now. My husband works away on a minesite, so I've just done over 2 weeks with another 1.5 weeks to go until he is home. I work, which makes things hard, but haven't produced anything for my boss in a long time - it's contract work from home so self motivation is a necessity which I just don't have at the moment.

I've had depression and anxiety for years. I seem to be quite drug resistant, as meds work for a while then have to be upped, or changed. I'm drinking too much too.

I'm going to see a psychiatrist end of October due to wait lists. I can't continue this way as it's frustrating my husband and even my son is aware I'm not right. I don't feel any joy or happiness and just don't want to be here but can't do anything about it because of the people I love, my beautiful delicate son, my husband, my parents and grandfather. But God it's hard to fight the demon in my head. I feel so so alone and crazily numb but overly sad in my numbness. It's hard to describe but I'm sure you guys understand. This is an evil disease. Dep and anxiety. Not to say other MI is not as evil.

I can't really talk to many people as it's so wrapped in stigma. I'm sure you understand. I wouldn't want to be around me, so why should others?

I keep hoping that each day will be better but they just seem to be getting so much darker. I feel mad.

You guys will never know how this has helped me. I'm so glad I joined, I feel very supported. My dark side laughs at me doing this, but the thread of hope tells me this is a great thing, as for the first time (apart from Samaritans hotline - who are so unjudgemental and lovely, I feel more free than ever to express how I feel. THANK YOU. Please please someone who is able, and not if your not, please keep in contact. If you are not okay, and some of the replies to othes comments sounded like the person felt really bad, please look after yourself. This is not your fault. This is an awful afliction that maybe only the few brave enough find some comfort within these cyber walls.

Thank you again. Please stay in touch.

@Whim

Posting on this site takes courage. It means opening up and confronting yourself with what is on your mind. Never feel bad about taking somebody's time with the helplines. They are there to help and assist at a time in great need. If you feel that the helplines are not enough, get in contact with your doctor/GP and set up to see a psychiatrist. Get the doctor to create a mental health plan with you.

Do you have someone in the family or a friend that you can relate to that you can discuss your matter with?

I have to admit that I felt a little bit strange writing on this forum, but when I started receiving responses, I was filled with emotion because I was able to see how others viewed the same issues. The responses were positive, heart felt and honest.

Is there anything that you can do to ease your depression and anxiety?

For example, meditation, like the smiling mind app or watching tv. Sometimes I have found great joy and accomplishment in just making a simple meal for myself. It might be heating something up in the microwave or having a cuppa tea.

I know it's not easy when you are depressed and feel anxious, sometimes you feel like it is hard to cope. By doing things like gettting out of bed and having a shower and making a meal, you are creating big accomplishments.

Feel bit silly as now realise most posts in response to other peoples messages attached to mine. Sorry...

Feel crap now! Hope you guys don't take that too wrong.

No they weren't @Whim. I think there was support for both. Your response was great, it makes it easier for us to connect if we share a bit. I'm sure you'll find some support that you are looking for on here. Keep posting and you'll find a good support group. I'm sorry that you've struggled for so long too but really glad you have your little boy and husband to keep fighting for but from experience it doesn't make it easier. I would have left this planet ages ago if it wasn't for my kids and have tried to before too. It's a daily struggle many of us face. Please be reassured you will get the support on here if you keep talking. It's kind of how it works best. Take care💜😊

its kinda weird how the threads and sharing on the forum work out ..

You opened up .. some responded directly to you ... but some responded by feeling they could follow your lead ... and share a bit of themselves ...

no need to feel crap ...

my feelings went up and down a lot at the beginning when I joined ...over a year ago .. I am much more steady now ... but all the feleings are genuinely who were are . .. we just dont need to get attached to any one feeiling ... no matter how much we like to stay with the good ones ... lol ..

take care @Whim