A thankless task but a task nonetheless

Today we had a session at my job where we spoke about lessons learned and things picked up along the way

As it is a contract-based position, there is a time limit on it and it will come to an end in the next two weeks

Overall I found the process somewhat beneficial as a self reflective exercise. However, the elements about the team were perhaps less so. I have found this role to be a challenge largely because of the nature of the style of management and the fact that it is a buearacracy.

At the end of the session today we were asked to give honourable mentions to each other. No one gave me one. To be honest I was not expecting it as I could sort of read the tea leaves. But it did feel as if I was underappreciated. Perhaps this brough up memories of my old role - where I did feel that at time - but was definitely appreciated by the staff there - they told me this when I left.

Rather than get bitter about it, I decided to play it out in style and gave a mention to someone not present there today. Of course, that will stand this person in good stead and it won't reflect on me. I get the impression that no one really appreciated the effort I put in when I wasn't required to. But I honestly think this comes down to environment, work style, the fact plans changed as well due to lockdown.

Am I hurt by it? No. I am however pushed into a state of reflection that I'd otherwise not like to be in. It's always nice to be acknowledged for effort. But I believe too that there are times where such an effort is not thanked. It's just that I sometimes feel it is a recuring theme with me.

I mean it did bring up memories of school and not receiving an award when I thought I would for my efforts in music.

All I can say is that I am really looking forward to getting on with life once this role ends.