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Sadness

Sadness

This fortnight we will discussing our third emotion, sadness.

Previously we have discussed the emotions of anger and fear, and looked at how these emotions have shown up for us, how they feel physically in our body and how we manage them. This fortnight we will be doing the same for the blue section of the wheel.

Sadness is an emotion that we have all felt, and it is essential to our survival. From our time as a child, sadness is there to communicate our distress. As adults, sadness works to let us know that we need to grieve after being hurt and to seek out those who love and support us.

While other “negative emotions,” like fear and anger seem to prepare us for flight, fight, or avoidance, etc - the benefits of sadness can be harder to understand. Sadness is a signal for help or comfort, and can motivate or prompt us to overcome challenges and make choices that improve our life.

Feeling sadness

Sadness is often a result of another feeling, such as anger, stress, anxiety or hopelessness. Sometimes, the other feeling may be so strong that you don’t realise you are sad.

When we think about sadness, ways we might describe it include “I feel depressed”, “I feel hurt”, “I am lonely”, “I feel guilty”, and “I feel broken hearted”. It is important to note, however, that experiencing sadness is different to having depression. Sadness, like other emotions, is temporary and fades away with time.

When we can identify how sadness shows up for us, and some of the signs we might be experiencing sadness, we can take steps to manage the emotion and seek out support that may be helpful for us.

This discussion will talk about themes such as sadness and grief, and topics that could be upsetting or triggering for those reading along. There are questions we have planned ahead of time to keep this conversation safe and constructive, but if at any time you feel distressed, you are welcome to reach out to our peer support or counselling services for additional support.

55 replies

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In response to: Sadness

Re: Sadness

I withdraw, go through the motions, do and say the minimum, feel numb, stay up late wasting time on my phone and sometimes listen to music to get back in touch with feelings.

In response to: Re: Sadness

Re: Sadness

very much like @AlwaysHappy

I go onto auto-pilot and waste a lot of time in front of the teev or listening to audiobooks instead of getting on with what needs to be done, or even what will make me feel better.

It shows up most when I'm already tired; when I lose sight of the big picture and focus too much on little things. When I look to the past instead of the future.

I need to be alone, which I pretty much never am, and I lose interest in everything.

In response to: Sadness

Re: Sadness

Hi @cloudcore

Sadness doesn't show up often but when it does I wonder why. Sometimes I feel lonely and misunderstood maybe that is why.

In response to: Re: Sadness

Re: Sadness

Thank you for your responses @AlwaysHappy @SJT63 @pinklollipop15

I tend to feel sad whenever I spend too much time reflecting on the past, and when I'm tired too @SJT63. It also arises whenever I'm feeling disconnected/abandoned in my relationships.

Sadness is the emotion I experience most often between anger, fear and sadness, and has led me to isolating myself further in the past too. These days when I'm feeling sad, I use that as a prompt for me to reach out for support instead. That has made a huge difference

In response to: Sadness

Re: Sadness

Sadness shows up in the pit of my stomach. I try to consider why it is there when I am feeling strong enough.

It is sitting there right now. I am giving myself permission to aknowledge it's there and straight away tears form. I know I'm not ready to delve deeper right now, so for now I'll park it and revisit it later. I've become really good at this step. I'm not trying to push it away, it will be heard and I will be able to move on eventually.

In response to: Sadness

Re: Sadness

Hey @Jorge

That was a really beautiful way you articulated your experience of sadness. Allowing our feelings to flow freely can be difficult at times, I know it can be for me. That said, I can really identify with the possibility for it to be a cathartic feeling when we allow the space for it (which is not always the case!).

I love how you've been able to meet your sadness and experience it as what sounds like a form of deep acknowledgement and gratitude.

Thank you for sharing, and kudos for having put in the work that I imagine would have been required for reaching this point.

Rhye

In response to: Re: Sadness

Re: Sadness

Hey@Rhye

Thankyou

It is a hard slog and it can take us to places we just aren't ready to tackle. When we can admit that and tackle it later with clarity it makes all the difference. You just made my day : )

In response to: Sadness

Re: Sadness

Loneliness and being disconnected from the situation/people involved.

Disappointment, feeling of being used and misunderstood.

Voice inside screaming ' You are not worthwhile'

In response to: Re: Sadness

Re: Sadness

Like @pinklollipop15 ,

Sadness doesn't show up much for me nowadays. But when it does, I feel cold, disconnected, spaced out and intend to withdraw.

Like you said @cloudcore , I believe sadness can come from thinking of the past and perhaps dwell on the not so pleasant bits.

Thanks for sharing @mum12 @Jorge @Former-Member

BPDSurvivor

In response to: Re: Sadness

Re: Sadness

Sadness comes when I start feeling lonely. When I become overwhelmed and fed up with lockdowns and restrictions.

Then my negative self talk, that I can normally keep under control, becomes loud and continious.

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