Henry's Landing Strip & Hangar

Hi @HenryX I love the feeling of taking off and landing. Can't wait to travel again How is your day going?

Hello @Former-Member ,

Yes, I do like the idea of travelling. Before covid, I had intended doing a course, in teaching English as a 2nd (other) language {TESOL}, with an Australian based company in Cambodia. This would have provided me the opportunity to acquire a useful qualification, see something of a region of the world with which I am unfamiliar and possibly offer some, hopefully, useful assistance for those wanting to pursue studies in countries where English is, predominantly, the first language. Unfortunately, two years at my age and with certain balance problems due to back issues, imposes ever increasing limitations, that may be difficult in a country in which I am unfamiliar with the customs and facilities.

However, If I want interest and some level of challenge and excitement, I am sure that I can find that here in Australia. There is definitely a special feeling, though, that goes with airports and different/new country challenges.

Having today had a phone call from my daughter and grandson, my thoughts are probably centred closer to home though. The relationship with my daughter is developing, after a significant period of separation and distance, physically and emotionally, and therefore I am feeling more attached to 'the ground on which I am standing'. That certainly doesn't mean that challenges and excitement are out of the picture.

A lot of my time, during the last six months, has been occupied inside, on the computer. I do believe that I need to expand my field of physical activity. In some ways though, it is probably fortunate that I enjoy research and activities that are centred around the computer, since that is certainly a source of significant pleasure and enjoyment for me. I have a broad range of interests, in which use of the English language is fairly prominent.

The photo, in your post, of the aircraft taking off, is very spectacular.

With Best Wishes

@HenryX

Hello @HenryX just a quick note, to say simply this THANKYOU for being in my life, 💋 I know that a kiss is too much but don't have a clue or care but a kiss sometimes is how I feel this Sunday morning about you Thankyou THANKYOU for being in our lives, love from Clawde 💋

Hello @Clawde ,

Thank you very much for your message this morning. It is really affirming and reassuring to know that you feel the way that you described. I am very pleased to accept a kiss. Am I also being a little bold? 😉😀

You can be very sure that I appreciate your presence in our forum activity and in our interactions with others also. I believe that you and I may compliment and add to each other's activity.

Thank you also for adding special thoughts and opportunities for reflection to my Sunday morning, @Clawde .

With My Very Best Wishes

@HenryX

Hi @HenryX Thanks for your message.
I'm glad to hear that things are improving with your daughter. I had words with mine yesterday. 😬😩😔

Hopefully she'll take notice tis time.
Sorry to hear that a trip to Cambodia won't be happening.
Went out for a change today. Home resting now. Over 30C outside earlier. Hope your day is going ok.

Australia, after being overseas last time.

Hello @Former-Member , @Clawde , @Lilly6 , @Appleblossom , @Emelia8 , @Anastasia , @Bunniekins , @Rosemary4 , @Former-Member , @Faith-and-Hope , @Dimity , @jem80 , @Lise07 , @Eve7

The following statement may be of interest to some, strike a chord for others, be a temporary distraction or something to which you may be able to respond. I brought the response and post over from the "Far and Away" thread.

{Longish post ~1140 words}

Separate Spaces

The following comment is a response that I wrote with regard to an enquiry about how I am going, by @Former-Member on the “Far and Away” forum thread, at about 2.00 PM AWST 5 Jan '22:

“I believe that I'm going ok here. Possibly somewhat concerned that I have, what appears to be, a path of fairly long recovery. I seem to live in different spaces, my mental logic space, a real life external space and another physically disorganised space. It may be that I keep the spaces separate in order to keep myself functioning.”

Should I be concerned about dissociation? By Zachary Phillips Apr 21, 2019 · 2 min read

“I Am Two People Contained In One Body

From: < https://medium.com/invisible-illness/i-am-two-people-contained-in-one-body-35e5b3b8a7a0 >

The impact of trauma on my childhood development

I am two people contained in one body.
Number One is self-conscious, prone to prolonged bouts of mental illness, and not at all confident.

Number Two is a highly motivated, fit and confident person. One who pushes himself daily to grow, learn and produce.
Throughout most of my childhood, Number One ruled. This was the product growing up in a less than stable home, my father was an addict and a dealer; subsequently his home never felt safe.
Number One learnt to survive. To feed himself and his brother and for the most part, to blend into the background.

He developed dissociation to cope with the more traumatic events of his childhood; something that he still battles with to this day.

Number Two did exist back then, but his visits were fleeting. He would come out for sports and occasionally in class, but never stayed for long. Occasionally he would make friends, but would never share his social skills with number one.

Number One self-harmed, number one idealised suicide; but when it came down to the crunch, number two kept me alive. He is the eternal fighter. Someone who is never satisfied that ‘enough is enough’. He keeps pushing for growth, self-improvement, learning and gains.

Today, for the most part, Number Two is in control.
My drive and work ethic is far larger than anyone I know. I meditate and exercise daily, put out regular books. I am constantly learning, experimenting and growing.
Yet I am still two people.

Number One is still inside me, and he still gets a vote.

Sometimes Number Two ignores Number one, but he always regrets it. If number one isn’t cared for, he rebels and we all come crashing down. Number Two has lost weeks at a time this way.

So now I am faced with an interesting balancing act.

I prefer Number Two, yet I can’t shake Number One. Regardless I am not convinced that I should get rid of him entirely (even if I could).

Self-care is important. Rest days are important. Healing and recovery is important.

Whilst Number Two is hyper productive, he doesn’t stop and smell the roses. He doesn’t sit and enjoy the fruits of his labour. On the other hand, Number One knows what it is like to suffer and subsequently appreciates the simpler things.

~ Zachary Phillips

My home life was possibly as dysfunctional as that described by Zachary, but for different reasons. Number One, with which I would identify most closely, is and, for the most part, has been the dominant one throughout my life. Always expressing myself through service of some sort. Seeking to do that which may be perceived as good or right. Is this just a way of finding solace from what I perceive to be the wrongs that I may have actually perpetrated {though, indeed, I have no reason, grounds or evidence to believe that any such events ever existed or occurred} or, of which I simply fear (irrationally) that I may, in some way, be guilty? It may seem impudent now, but at a much earlier stage of my life, I actually offered my own suffering, in a spiritual way, for the benefit of others. Did I thus incur a perpetual requirement for such a continued offering? I would presume that to be the case only if I think it so. However, not all reasons for perceptions are so logically founded and, as a consequence, altered.

The persona that Zachary presents as “Number Two” is not the same as the other aspects of my personality. For me the Number Two is nowhere near as well developed, though there are some positive attributes with which I can, thankfully, identify.

Zachary Phillips piece, above, seemed to develop and add “a body” to the thoughts that I initially expressed to Mumi. Those thoughts seemed to describe, in some respects, my life as it might be viewed from outside.

I would venture to say, that there is not one person who sees all three sides, aspects or dimensions of my life. I would identify them as, {in my number order of preference}: Number One, seen or viewed through the perspective presented on the forum. That persona may, to some degree, overlap in some areas, with another, Number Two, seen by people in real life, when I am outside my home. Number Three is the one that is seen only by me, inside my own living space, into which I wish no-one to enter, and is thus, ostensibly, or in reality, hidden.

The following questions arise:

• Firstly, an all encompassing question; am I simply overstating a simple life problem?

• Have I the personal means and capacity, emotionally and physically, to move toward and possibly integrate the three dimensions of my life?

• Is it possible, or even wise to attempt such integration and if so, what form would it take?

• Zachary says, “I prefer Number Two, yet I can’t shake Number One. Regardless I am not convinced that I should get rid of him entirely (even if I could).”

• Would there be traps, tensions and hurdles in the process of integration, of which it would be wise for me to be aware?

• What would be the benefits and possible penalties incurred in the process and the achievement of the goal of integration?

• What assistance and support should I seek, for such a journey?

• Where do I start?

I will discuss this statement and its content with the counsellor with whom I speak. I do have the option of speaking with a psychologist, should that be seen as an

advisable next step.

With Best Wishes,

@HenryX

Thanks for the tag @HenryX .

I'm reminded of an exercise my little nephew did in prep. The teacher handed out pages printed with about 5 concentric circles and encouraged the kids to populate the spaces with sketches and names based on closeness and connectivity from the immediate household through extended family and friends to more distant contacts and acquaintances. Nested bubbles of social interactions. Your inclusion of an online persona speaks to the existence of an interior mental life extending virtually beyond the physical space we move in. Your private world at home would perhaps mirror other proples' spaces for intimate partners or households. Seen in this way the different personas we enact in different settings are linked organically and aren't necessarily contradictory ,- they're just different facets of an integrated personality, reflecting the different lights or contexts of whatever milieu we find ourselves in. Different highlights.

Does this resonate with you at all? I suspect for most of us our social connections would look more like overlapping Venn diagrams than concentric circles.

Thanks for the opportunity to reflect on this.

Cheers

Dimity

Hello @Dimity , @Former-Member , @Clawde , @Appleblossom , @Emelia8 , @Former-Member , @Faith-and-Hope , and other readers of this thread

@Dimity , Thank you for your response and discussion. I do follow your structural description of relationships and also follow your thoughts on "our social connections would look more like overlapping Venn diagrams than concentric circles."

As with the majority of psychological issues, if an issue is not adversely impacting on our life, the issue may be considered not to be a problem.

Conversely, we may find, or have created, an artificial barrier in our lives, such as may be represented in the Venn diagram picture, by a heavy dark line. That line may represent a barrier of defence against some negative incursion from outside our space, even to, in certain circumstances, appropriately repel some who might otherwise be considered close contacts or even members of our family.

The heavy dark line may also represent an artificially constructed boundary, that, by its presence, limits our interaction with others and therefore our fullest social interaction between us and those others. A barrier, otherwise limiting our positive social expression and interaction, and its reason for existence, is likely to be considered a problem, if there is no other positive functional reason for its existence. The identification of the behaviour and the time period within which it has its affect, can determine how seriously the problem may be viewed.

We often see in psychology, where the existence of sadness, for short periods of time, is, in certain circumstances, generally considered normal. However, the expression of sadness and melancholy over a relatively long period of time may become what is termed depression. The same experience may exist in both, but over different time frames. In like fashion, the occasional appearance of clutter may be assessed as normal, however, the continued existence of clutter, in its extreme forms, over a longer period of time, can become a problem identified as hoarding. The reverse may also be of as much concern, where people have obsessive inclinations for clearing and cleaning.

Consequently, there are time frames and parameters, in which various issues change with regard to the relative seriousness and consequences, from being simple short term aberrations to longer term, seriously life impacting, divergent and atypical behaviours.

Often, as I understand, it is not always just the behaviour that needs to be addressed, but the underlying and precipitating causes. It is possible, that a behaviour that is evident in the present, may be an example of behaviour that had its origin many years previous. In which case, the behaviour, that may have had a purpose in the past, now occurs more as a "conditioned" and possibly even, unconscious reaction to certain stimuli, the continued existence of which no longer serves a functional purpose and can even have adverse effects and outcomes.

What has become apparent to me over the past couple of months, is that there is evidence of behaviour, in my actions, that has significantly negative and even destructive impacts on various parts and aspects of my life. I wish to identify the reasons for the existence of that pattern of behaviours, as they exist in the present. In addressing the reasons, I believe that I am likely to be able to make positive changes to the way that I consciously and, hopefully, unconsciously act and behave in the future. In this way I do hope to improve the quality of my life significantly.

Today, I believe that I have actually faced the issues that I need to address and this discussion has enabled me to further develop those ideas.

Thank You All and Best Wishes

@HenryX

Such thoughtfulness.

@HenryX @Dimity

Ah ... that never ending journey of living, reflecting and living some more.

food and drinkMelancholia - Durer