Hi, it's been a while

@AlwaysHappy , maybe with the friends you have contact with, , maybe rebuilding the relationship

I have not tried with my friends yet but still keeping in contact by text messages

That's more of a whopper of a question then your likely to realize, @AlwaysHappy . Not because I don't know the answer, but because when I've tried to tell others, the responses have not been good. And what I've said has very frequently been misinterpreted, which helps nobody.

I don't want to offend anybody, which makes honesty almost impossible in many cases, because there comes inevitable moments in those conversations where I have to clarify that certain elements in the listener's life - such as their values and aspirations, in some cases - "are not my cup of tea" (to put it extremely politely), which has the potential to greatly upset people.

But I'll try to answer your question as much as I feel comfortable to:

My people are people who prioritize happiness over survival. They don't view death in a negative light, or as a "tragedy". They view it more as a middleground outcome between a good, enjoyable life of thrills and laughter, and the true (and all too common) tragedies of lives that are devoid of such incentives (even if the person is "healthy", "surviving" and "coping"). You often hear tales of the poverty-striken mother having to sell the family TV, in order to buy food? My people would instead sell the refrigerator, so that they could pay off the power bill long enough for the family to die in front of the TV, laughing at their favorite sitcom.

With that in mind, our lives tend to be dominated not by the question: "What do I need to do to sustain myself?", but rather: "What do I need to do to make the world happier? And how can I maximise my exposure to enjoyable situations?"

Love is central to the way of life for my people. Life revolves around having someone by your side who you can devote yourself to and count on to be your unflinching ally; ideological harmony; and trusted sanctuary of intimacy (sexual, emotional & rational). To my people, the image of a person crawling into bed alone at night is infinitely more tragic then those images you see on TV of the skeletally-thin starving african children that seem to horrify the rest of the population so badly. To my people, the phrase: "it's okay to be single" makes about as much sense as saying: "it's okay to be diagnosed with bone cancer."

To us, love comes before survival and self-preservation. If to live is to be alone, why should we go to any lengths to sustain our life? I know that doesn't make sense to the majority of people, but it's a profound truth to my people.

We choose the enjoyable, memorable road over the safe road. We aspire to lead lives that are memorable, not necessarily particularly long. If, by the time we reach our graves, the world hasn't gathered a strong collection of hilarious stories about our antics, then we weren't living right. Most people apparently considder it a tragedy for someone to die at the age of 20. My people are indifferant to lifespans. My people considder it a disappointment if someone reaches their grave and we don't have 20 side-splittingly enjoyable stories to tell about them.

My people abhor misery, and are always seeking ways to eliminate it whenever it crops up. If there's a more enjoyable way of portraying something, that is what we seek to present. Likewise, that is what we ideally want to recieve from others. Again, when my people are presented with a choice between a "safer" option, and a "more enjoyable" option, they will choose to cultivate enjoyment before safety. We greatly respect those who make an effort to make us happier, when it would've been easier for them to make us miserable.

I'd probably better leave it there. It's probably already far too heavy. Probably TMI. And probably a lot that's going to offend people, too. I'm sorry if I've done that. My dillemma is a rock and a hard place. If I can't open up about what I need, there'll never be any hope of help. But when I do speak my mind, it's not what people want to hear, so they don't want to help.

Hi, first time poster (replier) honestly I feel like reading your post mirrors my life. I find myself in bed exhausted after a few manic days from youngest son who is bi-polar, ptsd, depression. Last 2 weeks been really hard I could feel the spiral comin, People don't get it unless u live it. I've pretty much just ceased unloading because of it. I also hv another daughter who is high needs with her dependence issues, anxiety depression no resilience to anything. I'm propping her up daily, I hv 2 others who are going ok, so thankful. I'm exhausted, depleted & @ times defeated. Covid has been another layer indeed. It's effected my marriage for sure cause hubby gets to leave for work, I hv retired through covid lost job and can't see me holding one down at present. As Dr Phil says "you're only ever as happy as your saddest child" its gospel. My only advice is to slow things down as much as u can, simplify, delegate & try to do one thing that helps your soul ea day, I find meditating good, reading. Colouring in, crocheting. We need that respite. I love my kids more than life itself but it's so hard x

My dogs keep me sane. What would we ever do without their love

Hello @AlwaysHappy it's nice to meet you.

I can totally relate to everything you said. I look forward to talking more 🌹

Thanks for the tag @Shaz51. Hi @AlwaysHappy.

Yeah, Hubby and I have found that keeping up with friendships is hard, simply because we're emotionally exhausted. We live in a small town, and are part of a church in the nearest rural city, and find that both of those are a way of staying in touch with our "communitites", but the pool of people that we might catch up with socially in each others homes, or for a cuppa/meal/whatever is smaller than we'd like. There are a number of people in our circles who have had to deal with MI issues themselves, personally or as a carer, so that helps us a lot. Having to give someone a mental health education before you can even start to explain what life is like for you... yeah, that's hard work!

And yes, our own mental health is very much affected. We regularly see a psychologist ourselves to help us deal with the depression/anxiety resulting from being carers in situations that have sometimes been very traumatic. We've both had to stop working due to both the mental strain and the fact that we so often have everyday life stuff sidelined by psych related emergencies. Our Older Daughter is the one with severe MI problems, Older Son has pre-existing but lower level neurological processing/anxiety issues, but our daughter's MI has affected him and our other daughter and son too. That's meant that the younger two have struggled with school. Younger Son is now an adult and doing pretty well at making a way for himself after some "recovery time"; Younger Daughter is still in the thick of the final years of secondary school, and not doing so well... House is a total mess, so that's one of my points where I feel "stuck".

Keen gardener, love my "cottager" pets (chook, rabbit, guinea pig), love reading but don't always have the energy for it. Have an ambivalent relationship with coffee because it keeps me awake at night if I indulge in it too much/too late in the day! 😛