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I need to write

ArizonaSenior Contributor06 Oct 2021, 11:46 pm AEDT

I need to write

I need to write.

My anxiety is through the roof. It's the worst it's ever been. It feels like my chest is going to explode. I can feel it in my whole body, even in my legs. My whole body is reacting to something.

It's strongest in my heart/diaphragm area but it is also in my stomach. I have a slight stomach ache. It feels like my body is buzzing.

And I can feel my heart beating in my chest.

And my mouth is dry.

I feel sad that this is happening to me. I feel sad and alone.

I tried to write but that is all I could say.

42 replies

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In response to: I need to write

ArizonaSenior Contributor08 Oct 2021, 2:52 am AEDT

Re: I need to write

My depression and anxiety are very bad. I feel so low and I have no energy at all.

I don't know how to overcome my problems with my housing agency and it is making me feel very depressed. It makes me feel like giving up on life (not in a suicidal way).

I felt very sad today and managed to cry for a bit.

Today I did three 20 minute meditations. It was hard but I did them. I'm glad to have my Headspace app back. Listening to Andy Puddicombe's voice makes me feel comforted and safe. This is probably because I listened to his voice every day for six years.

I haven't been looking after myself, or showering or cleaning my teeth, or eating properly etc.

I have just fallen into a big, black hole and I can't seem to get myself out.

I'm in bed having a cup of tea and my Pug is beside me. I'm going to listen to my audio book now The Body Keeps the Score. Listening to this audio book also makes me feel comforted and safe.

In response to: Re: I need to write

NiteKatSenior Contributor08 Oct 2021, 3:28 am AEDT

Re: I need to write

Hi @Arizona

Thank you for being a contributor here and letting everyone know how you feel. All the members wish for you to be safe and supported and youre always welcome to discuss what your feelings and experiences at any time. Hope you can rest tonight.

All the best

NiteKat (mod)

In response to: Re: I need to write

ArizonaSenior Contributor08 Oct 2021, 7:17 am AEDT

Re: I need to write

I did a 20 minute meditation and 30 minutes of affirmations in the mirror (not in one go).

In response to: Re: I need to write

ArizonaSenior Contributor08 Oct 2021, 10:05 am AEDT

Re: I need to write

I had an annoying, unpleasant, customer service experience this morning that left me feeling stressed and flustered. I have just done a 10 minute deep breathing exercise and I'm feeling better.

In response to: Re: I need to write

ArizonaSenior Contributor08 Oct 2021, 8:23 pm AEDT

Re: I need to write

I'm having a really bad day. I really did try but I have given up. I feel powerless and defeated.

In response to: Re: I need to write

ArizonaSenior Contributor09 Oct 2021, 3:39 pm AEDT

Re: I need to write

I did my online shopping and it's coming in the morning. I haven't been eating properly and I'm so hungry. I have been too depressed to do my shopping. I feel weak and sick from not eating.

In response to: Re: I need to write

ArizonaSenior Contributor09 Oct 2021, 5:31 pm AEDT

Re: I need to write

Listening to Suede is making me feel better.

https://youtu.be/SmOwJJoc3hc

In response to: Re: I need to write

ArizonaSenior Contributor09 Oct 2021, 5:49 pm AEDT

Re: I need to write

I have the all clear from the manager at the bike store to pick up my bike! I'm picking it up next week!

In response to: Re: I need to write

ArizonaSenior Contributor10 Oct 2021, 12:17 am AEDT

Re: I need to write

I had a shower and washed my hair.

I cleaned my teeth.

I gave my hair a really good brush.

I took my antidepressants.

My anxiety is very bad and I can feel the trauma in my body. I feel really weak and sick from not eating. I have 6 or 7 hours to go until the food will be here. I'm going to make myself a cup of tea and try to relax. I'm amazed at how much my body is reacting.

And my finger is 100% better.

In response to: Re: I need to write

ArizonaSenior Contributor10 Oct 2021, 6:11 am AEDT

Re: I need to write

I'm taking a break from listening to The Body Keeps the Score. I'm listening to my new audio book called Overcoming Trauma Through Yoga by David Emerson (Yoga teacher) and Elizabeth Hopper (therapist).

My online shopping delivery should be here in the next hour or so.

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