LIVE CHAT: BPD for Friends, Family and Carers - This Sunday 3rd October 7:00-8:30pm AEDT

I believe that pwBPD refers to a person with or people with BPD

@Shaz51 ,

Panic attacks can be a symptom of BPD. People with BPD are often hyper-sensitive to their environment so that it can result in a panic attack.

I saw one psychologist who did see me for 5 years. He told me at the end of one session "sorry can't htlp you anymore"

I left in a terrible state sobbing in the car. I had to call the CAT team. Fear rejection abandonment all came to mind. I crossed boundaries so many times. He would tell me to stop yet I round keep going. But he crossed the boundary by hugging me when I was so emotional. I did see him as a close friend. Now I know they wasn't good.
@BPDSurvivor

Yes he is 15 now and has had panic attacks which the ambulance has had to come @BPDSurvivor

How can I help his dad to help his son

@Meowmy ,

I believe part of your mum's need to 'control' things is that her internal emotional being is totally out-of-control. So by control you, she is feeling some sort of control.

Does your mum see there is a problem?

@BlueBay ,

I'm sorry to hear of your experience.

From what you have described, I really believe the clinician had limited understanding in working with someone with BPD.

For BPD therapy to work, the therapist must be a good 'fit' for the person, irrespective of all the knowledge he/she has.

I too have had a therapist tell me not to return because he couldn't help me.

@BlueBay , I don't believe people are untreatable or treatment-resistant. Rather, these clinicians are simply out of their depth.

I encourage you to keep looking until you find the right person. BPD is VERY treatable!

Hey @Shaz51

I would say to the boy to take some slow deep breaths. Ask him a few questions like tell me 3 things you can see or touch it smell. It's like a grounding technique.

once I had a panic attack while driving. I stopped and called 000. I was so bad. Couldn't tell them where I was. Eventually police found me. they assured me I will be ok, take some deep breaths.

Hi @BPDSurvivor

Thank you so much for sharing this part of your story with us

The way that you described feeling ‘like a child trapped in an adults body’ makes so much sense and this is something that I repeatedly observed with some of the adults that I supported.

During these times, I found myself modifying the way in which I was interacting with them. As such, I ever so carefully and sensitively responded to them based on their developmental age as opposed to their chronological age - which appeared to be incredibly effective

Take care,

ShiningStar

Since I’ve gone through things that have worked for me, how about we discuss things that have NOT worked for me:

1. Telling me what to do

As someone with BPD, my life was out of control. If you told me what to do, I usually dug my heels in and did the opposite. Why? Because if you told me to do something, I felt you were trying to rob me of the little control I did have.

Rather, try ‘inviting’ your loved one to do something which thus EMPOWERS them and helps them feel in control. Sounds strange, eh? Words mean a lot. Instead of saying, “Breathe through this moment”, try “I invite you to breathe through this moment”.

Instead of saying, “Go an see a therapist”, try “Do you think it is a good idea to see a therapist?”

These are just 2 examples. Empowering a pwBPD can be done in a multitude of ways.

2. Keeping me in an inpatient unit

Undoubtedly, inpatient units have their place. For me, I often left a unit worse off than when I entered. The trauma and stress of being confined and having people control my every move was detrimental for me.

Research has shown that services such as Prevention and Recovery Centres (PARCs) are more helpful for pwBPD. These centres focus on recovery, and work with the person to set recovery goals.

3. Medication

I’d like to talk a little about the role of medication in pwBPD. BPD itself is not treated with medication. However, medication does help alleviate some symptoms of BPD such as depression and anxiety. For me, when my symptoms (anxiety, depression, insomnia) were stabilised, I could then focus on the psychotherapy needed to help me learn new helpful ways of thinking which ultimately affected my behaviour.

Question 3

What are some things that haven’t worked for you when interacting with someone with BPD?