Needing Space from my Psychologist 2 WEEK BREAK

SO

I have weeekly appointments with my Psychologist l have been seeing for over 2 years now and lately it seems thats we are butting heads and l need a break from HIM.

This relationship we have is becoming complicated and l feel l am needing to hide from him because when he pushes on certain topics or subjects , he doesnt get the hint l am happy to discuss but to a certain point and then its just anger and frustration on my part as he wont drop it.

There have been a couple of instances of misunderstandings from both of us and a couple of instances where feelings have been hurt and have caused hurt.

WORDS are powerful tools where it can make or break a person and some of HIS WORDS have indeed broken me and l feel lost and confussed .

I told him last session l wanted to tell him its OVER , but l also need his help .

I dont want to feel l need to rely on him , but he said l need to branch out for other support than him.

Reach out to others , OKAY thats fine , but when l have tried to dump him out of my life he wont accept it or more so allow me to.

Actually how dare l try to dump him or excommunicate him , like he would allow me to .

His words....

So l called today to confirm that l would be cancelling tommorrows and next weeks appointments. I am book weekly all,the way through to the end of the year so l am covered for future sessions.

I know how busy they get especially during lockdown.

I normally email HIM weekly also to give him the heads up on where l am at , emotionally etc.

But l havent sent him anything so far and dont plan to.

I dont expect him to reach out as to why l have this and to me that is very hurtful from HIS end that he claims to care but doesnt follow up or look in etc , in fact he can lack empathy at times or no one will emotionally blackmail him. SURE !!!

I know this is the time l need to not be cutting off support lines as l am suffering and self harming but l dont care.

I know deep down l have done the wrong thing and its done l need to accept it ...

I dont want to find another one , l dont want to start over again because l wouldnt bother honestly.

So l need to make things work with him , it was fine untill recently and l am struggling how to fix things.

Its all too hard some times and confussing and thats where l will leave it ......