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Needing Space from my Psychologist 2 WEEK BREAK

Unknown userMember21 Sept 2021, 3:29 pm AEST

Needing Space from my Psychologist 2 WEEK BREAK

I have weeekly appointments with my Psychologist l have been seeing for over 2 years now and lately it seems thats we are butting heads and l need a break from HIM.

This relationship we have is becoming complicated and l feel l am needing to hide from him because when he pushes on certain topics or subjects , he doesnt get the hint l am happy to discuss but to a certain point and then its just anger and frustration on my part as he wont drop it.

There have been a couple of instances of misunderstandings from both of us and a couple of instances where feelings have been hurt and have caused hurt.

WORDS are powerful tools where it can make or break a person and some of HIS WORDS have indeed broken me and l feel lost and confussed .

I told him last session l wanted to tell him its OVER , but l also need his help .

I dont want to feel l need to rely on him , but he said l need to branch out for other support than him.

Reach out to others , OKAY thats fine , but when l have tried to dump him out of my life he wont accept it or more so allow me to.

Actually how dare l try to dump him or excommunicate him , like he would allow me to .

His words....

So l called today to confirm that l would be cancelling tommorrows and next weeks appointments. I am book weekly all,the way through to the end of the year so l am covered for future sessions.

I know how busy they get especially during lockdown.

I normally email HIM weekly also to give him the heads up on where l am at , emotionally etc.

But l havent sent him anything so far and dont plan to.

I dont expect him to reach out as to why l have this and to me that is very hurtful from HIS end that he claims to care but doesnt follow up or look in etc , in fact he can lack empathy at times or no one will emotionally blackmail him. SURE !!!

I know this is the time l need to not be cutting off support lines as l am suffering and self harming but l dont care.

I know deep down l have done the wrong thing and its done l need to accept it ...

I dont want to find another one , l dont want to start over again because l wouldnt bother honestly.

So l need to make things work with him , it was fine untill recently and l am struggling how to fix things.

Its all too hard some times and confussing and thats where l will leave it ......

23 replies

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In response to: Needing Space from my Psychologist 2 WEEK BREAK

Unknown userMember21 Sept 2021, 3:40 pm AEST

Re: Needing Space from my Psychologist 2 WEEK BREAK

A break sounds like a great idea @Former-Member as it sounds like tensions have been building for a while.

It does indeed sound like a really confusing and frustrating relationship. I wonder, are there times where he is helpful? Some advice I received once was ''the time to leave a relationship is when the positives that you get from it no longer outweigh the hurt''

Maybe it might be useful to reflect on whether this relationship with your Psychologist has become more harmful than helpful over the next two weeks? I know making the decision to move on is difficult, especially with how hard it is to get appointments right now. But it might be worth thinking about some more.

I trust you know what is best for you 🙂
- perinwinklepixie

In response to: Re: Needing Space from my Psychologist 2 WEEK BREAK

AppleblossomSenior Contributor21 Sept 2021, 5:36 pm AEST

Re: Needing Space from my Psychologist 2 WEEK BREAK

Hearing you in needing a break from clinician. To me it sounded like you did a wise self caring thing, as you did not totally burn bridges, and should be able to get back to weekly sessions again IF THEY ARE PRODUCTIVE. He may need to examine some of his prejudices and needs to push you. Extending beyond comfort into pain is a very delicate negotiation if it is to be therapeutic.

Its not easy to call. @Former-Member I have never had a circumstance where I had weekly sessions.

In response to: Needing Space from my Psychologist 2 WEEK BREAK

Unknown userMember21 Sept 2021, 5:45 pm AEST

Re: Needing Space from my Psychologist 2 WEEK BREAK

Hi. I here you and understand

In response to: Re: Needing Space from my Psychologist 2 WEEK BREAK

Unknown userMember21 Sept 2021, 5:47 pm AEST

Re: Needing Space from my Psychologist 2 WEEK BREAK

Bad spelling. I mean I hear you.

In response to: Re: Needing Space from my Psychologist 2 WEEK BREAK

AussieRechargerSenior Contributor22 Sept 2021, 7:48 pm AEST

Re: Needing Space from my Psychologist 2 WEEK BREAK

Can I ask what you still need him for? Is it him, or could you branch out and get services from others, such as lived experience or peer support workers.

Maybe take the time you would have spent with him in the next 2 weeks to develop a plan of what you want to achieve and how he will help you achieve it. If your goals or plans don't align with what you are trying to achieve with him, maybe its time to find a service which meets those needs of your goals..

Best of luck to you 🙂

In response to: Re: Needing Space from my Psychologist 2 WEEK BREAK

Unknown userMember23 Sept 2021, 12:19 am AEST

Re: Needing Space from my Psychologist 2 WEEK BREAK

Hi @Former-Member

So why do l feel guilty in cancelling my appointment ????

In response to: Re: Needing Space from my Psychologist 2 WEEK BREAK

Unknown userMember23 Sept 2021, 12:25 am AEST

Re: Needing Space from my Psychologist 2 WEEK BREAK

Hello @Appleblossom

I am not sure about yesterday .... I dont know where l am at and self care isnt my first priority.

I dont know whats productive and am screaming on the inside , so the scratching begins firstly in my head then on my arms and wrist.

Not a good place to be .

In response to: Re: Needing Space from my Psychologist 2 WEEK BREAK

Unknown userMember23 Sept 2021, 12:26 am AEST

Re: Needing Space from my Psychologist 2 WEEK BREAK

Hi @Former-Member

Well if you can hear my screaming then u are really good , because all l want to do is breakdown and cry but it wont solve where l am at ...

In response to: Re: Needing Space from my Psychologist 2 WEEK BREAK

Unknown userMember23 Sept 2021, 12:42 am AEST

Re: Needing Space from my Psychologist 2 WEEK BREAK

Hello @AussieRecharger

I guess l have a million issues that l have bricked up and one stone at a time they are being uncovered.

I have found it easy to NOT talk to others anymore as it was easier to walk away from those who mattered .

I find him easy to talk to and frustrating at the same time.

I hate him the most when he makes me think . feel and be emotional.

What do you mean " is it him " ??????

There arent services that could deal with what l have to throw at them , without making them go to councelling themselves.

Trust me l am not the norm.

I just want to get better , feel better and live.

I have spent years dealing with many to go nowhere. To get nowhere but stuck.

This is it its now or never because l cannot go on anymore.

Yes its called giving up and no other services can or will be bothered to save me.

I'm too hard and difficult and hurt , but mostly scared.

In response to: Re: Needing Space from my Psychologist 2 WEEK BREAK

AppleblossomSenior Contributor23 Sept 2021, 11:01 am AEST

Re: Needing Space from my Psychologist 2 WEEK BREAK

@Former-Member

I have noticed how my own and my sibling's SH behaviours have shifted and morphed.

When at my absolute lowest, the only way I can self soothe is rocking in foetal position, or keeping moving and busy. Both!

Forgiving self for backslides can help.

Apple

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