The end of my career, of life as I need it

Hello,

I've come for support (and comfort) from others who lost what they worked & thought they'd lived for. I worked, hard and with many sacrifices, for the career I had, and I'm not saying people don't work hard, I just worked hard on my own career. And ahoet years after I got to one of my major milestones (not the first one) I ever dreamed to strive for, I got ill, and eventually lost my job and went into 'nothingness'. Even years after, I miss it, I miss my job, I miss the people I worked with, I miss the job I did. This job was my life. It's what I studied for, it's what I put endless (and happy) hours into and I just loved my job. I really loved my job. I really loved my career. I loved the projects I did, my workmates and clients, my time in or out of the office, I just loved my job. And I lost it. And I lost it for a reason, because my brain doesn't work how it used to anymore. It's some years ago now, but it's still the same jearning for a job and matesship and passion I lived for since my teens. Even if it seems completely self indulgent, I say it here, I will never be able to use my (formerly) brilliant mind to work at these (for me) amazing developments again and will never be able to connect to the multitude of brilliant minds again, because I can't sustain and control my mind and it makes me so entirely sad because this was such an integral part of myself. I don't think it's only the status etc that I miss but it's me, I breathed and lived this job, yes I had and have value outside my career but it's like a racehorses who lost both legs and who can't even be in the stable or train with the other race horses. I just REALLY miss my job 😞

Is there anyone else out there who just misses their job, not just for money in their pocket, but because that's an integral part of who they are?