Moving on with my recovery

I am afraid I am rarely up before 11 in the last 2 years. @Eve7 @Arizona

It might be med related. It took a while before I could be accepting of it. However, if I can be productive and have good mood for the rest of the day, it is worth it, after all the years of serious struggle. The struggle against felt needs also caused my long term neck injury ... so?

Yesterday I went for 2 hour walk with a friend, quick computer log on and then 40 mins with physio in gym. I was very pleased with myself, going for steady fitness and not pushing cardio too hard cos of heart strain. I used to burn the candle at both ends for decades, so it is the way it is. No judgment. Well, trying for a sense of equilibrium.

I don't usually mind what time I go to bed or wake up as long as I have 8 hours sleep. But lately I have been trying for a regular routine because my sleep patterns have been so off.

That is good that you went for a 2 hour walk. Well done. As soon as I get my bike I will start riding again every day.

@Appleblossom

I spoke with my therapist at 7pm.

I ate healthy food all day.

I drank 5 glasses of water and 6 cups of tea*

I took my vitamins and antidepressants.

I had cuddles with my Pug.

Today, for most of the day, I felt anxious, stressed and restless like I couldn't concentrate. I couldn't meditate, listen to my audio book or even watch one of Ediya's videos (and I usually find them relaxing). And for the rest of the day I felt like I was in a lot of psychological pain.

*I just need one more glass of water to meet my fluid intake for the day.

I woke up at about 7.30-8 o'clock. I'm not sure what time I went to bed but I had a good night's sleep. And I don't have as much anxiety or depression this morning as I usually do. And I'm not in any psychological pain. I think this is because I spoke to my therapist last night. I think my therapy is helping/working. I spoke with her about my experiences of sexual assault. I have never spoken to her about it before.

My goals for today are:

Have a shower.

Clean my teeth.

Take my Pug for a walk.

Things I have done so far today...

I had muesli with soy milk and yoghurt for breakfast.

I took my vitamins.

I did my affirmation in the mirror.

I watched one of Ediya's videos for confidence and empowerment.

I did a 20 minute guided mindfulness meditation on acceptance.

I have had 2 glasses of water and 3 cups of tea.

"I love and accept myself exactly as I am."

https://youtu.be/-8yeD_Zx1B8

https://youtu.be/_LTMv7NMMnQ

Right now I'm listening to my audio book The Body Keeps the Score. My goals for the rest of the day are:

Put on some washing and hang it out.

Make scrambled eggs with Grana Padano cheese and black pepper for lunch.

Take my Pug for a walk.

Drink 4 glasses of water.

Go to the supermarket and do some shopping.

Eat some blueberries if they have them at the supermarket. I only like the Eureka blueberries at Coles and they don't always have them.

Make a chicken and vegetable stir fry for dinner.

Take out the recycling.

Put a treatment in my hair and have a shower.

Clean my teeth.

Do another 20 minute guided meditation.

Go to bed at 9.30pm.

Watch another one of Ediya's videos before I go to sleep.

Hi @Arizona ,

How are you?

I just had an online mindfulness 'class' which I attend weekly. Having it scheduled in forces me to set time aside for this as part of self-care. I have found it extremely helpful seeing I have been in lockdown for so long.

BPDSurvivor

Hello @BPDSurvivor

That is a good idea doing a mindfulness class online. I like to learn about mindfulness from reading books by Thich Nhat Hanh.

I'm going okay today. I managed to complete a few things on my list...

I hung out the washing.

I put out the recycling.

I took my Pug for a walk.

I went to the supermarket and did some shopping.

I have all the ingredients to make basil pesto, which I will make tomorrow. I'm going to have it on my favourite bread with some tomato slices for lunch. And I have all the ingredients to make chicken and vegetable soup with soba noodles and ginger for dinner.

Unfortunately I ate a whole packet of chips and a whole block of chocolate, which isn't ideal.

@Arizona ,

Yes, the online classes are good. Also, chocolate and chips are good!

I feel snackky at the moment after reading it post. I've started a new health program with Diabetes Australia (for the prevention of diabetes/heart disease/stroke etc), so I think I need to choose a healthy snack and put aside some discretionary foods!

Speak soon,

BPDSurvivor

Today I was a bit naughty because I didn't eat any meat or vegetables. I made basil pesto which was so delicious that I couldn't stop eating it. I had it on my favourite rye bread with tomato slices.

And then I had my favourite Japanese soba noodles with more basil pesto.

I will share my recipe for basil pesto:

2 cups tightly packed basil leaves

1 large clove garlic

50g raw cashews or pine nuts

50g Parmigiano Reggiano cheese

1/2 cup good quality olive oil

1/4 tsp sea salt

One bunch of basil from Woolworths should give you 2 tightly packed cups.

Thoroughly rinse the basil. Remove large stems (small stems on the leaves are okay). Pat dry with paper towel. Put all of the ingredients in a food processor. Blend until you get the consistency of pesto. You will need to frequently stop the food processor and scrape down the inside with a spatula. Store in the fridge.

Also, a friend gave me a Tarot reading for my birthday (she gave me a gift certificate). I had the Tarot reading today.

I asked about my future life partner and I feel much better knowing that there is someone in my future. I feel relieved.

Also, I have decided that I'm an agnostic and not an atheist. I can't rule things out completely.

Hey @Arizona

Just read your last post from nearly a year ago.

I hope you are doing better and have not needed to post on Sane forum all this time.

I would have replied with a tag, but it slipped past.

It was a really lovely post. thoughtful and lots of value in it.

warm regards

Apple