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Anger

cloudcoreSenior Contributor14 Sept 2021, 10:07 am AEST

Anger

This fortnight we are starting our first emotion discussion talking about Anger.

Anger is an emotion that we all feel from time to time. It is a natural response to situations in which we feel offended or wronged doing and is usually triggered by external factors, for example, injustice, humiliation, or illnesses, etc. It is generally a quick and intense emotion.

The base emotion of anger can be felt in many ways. We often describe anger by saying “I feel frustrated, I feel annoyed, I feel infuriated”.

Let’s use the emotions of anger and frustration as an example. They are often referred to in conjunction, however there are some underlying differences between the emotions and how it is felt.

Frustration refers to dissatisfaction or disappointment with specific situations, ie when a person fails to fulfill their desires up to their expected level. It is a mix of feeling hopeless, discouraged, sad, and disappointed. It is generally slow and steady, and built up internally. This is just one example of the complexity of anger, and how it is felt.

There are many different ways that we can feel and experience anger, and this is where the emotion wheel can help us to name how anger shows up in our lives. For this discussion, we are focussing on the red section of the wheel:

Feeling anger

When we feel anger, it can impact how we act. This discussion is about exploring what anger looks like in our lives, how we feel it in our body, how we act when we are angry, and what we can do to cope with anger and frustration.

When we can identify how anger shows up for us, and some of the signs we might be experiencing anger, we can take steps to manage the emotion and make better decisions when it comes to our actions.

This discussion will talk about themes such as anger and frustration, and may topics that could be upsetting or triggering for those reading along. There are questions we have planned ahead of time to keep this conversation safe and constructive, but if at any time you feel distressed, you are welcome to reach out to our peer support or counselling services for additional support.

66 replies

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In response to: Anger

ArizonaSenior Contributor14 Sept 2021, 12:32 pm AEST

Re: Anger

Yes, me too @Appleblossom

I have a sudden amount of energy, which usually spurs me on to take action about things.

And I feel alive (not depressed).

In response to: Anger

Eve7Senior Contributor14 Sept 2021, 12:37 pm AEST

Re: Anger

I feel betrayed, disrespected and violated when angry

In response to: Anger

BowSenior Contributor14 Sept 2021, 12:50 pm AEST

Re: Anger

when i feel angry i often feel; frustrated, bitter, betrayed, annoyed, let down, disrespected and hostile.

In response to: Anger

SnowieSenior Contributor14 Sept 2021, 1:02 pm AEST

Re: Anger

Hi @cloudcore

When I am angry the emotions I feel the most are humiliated, distant, withdrawn and violated.

In response to: Anger

Shaz51Senior Contributor14 Sept 2021, 1:42 pm AEST

Re: Anger

Hello @cloudcore

When I am angry

I cry like @SJT63 said

Also feel let down , annoyed, mad

In response to: Anger

JungleGiantsSenior Contributor14 Sept 2021, 2:41 pm AEST

Re: Anger

I feel most often frustrated, also mad, bitter, critical, and annoyed. Frustrated main emotion when dealing with small things that don't bother me as much normally. Interesting question @cloudcore

In response to: Re: Anger

BPDSurvivorSenior Contributor14 Sept 2021, 10:29 pm AEST

Re: Anger

Thanks for this thread @cloudcore ! It is soooo relevant, particularly when people find themselves under pressure.

For me, RAGE was what I mostly associated anger with. I'd go from cold to raging hot in a matter of seconds.

Now, I'd associated anger with the words frustration, intolerance, agitation.

From this, only as I post, I can see how the term 'anger' has, over time, transformed for me. The intensity has reduced. Interesting....

Im also finding it interesting that each person has similiar yet evidently different perspectives/feelings of 'anger' - a truly personalised experience.

@JungleGiants @Shaz51 @Snowie @Bow

BPDSurvivor

In response to: Anger

wellwellwellnezSenior Contributor14 Sept 2021, 10:40 pm AEST

Re: Anger

"Critical" would have to be the main hot-button for me. Self-critical, support-critical, universe-critical and then on up and down the list (with rinse repeat of course).

I've been finding myself resonating with approaches that dig you out of "unnacceptable-mode". Is that because its useful for everyone or do I have extra "that's-unnacceptable-wiring"? Both, probably, but not sure what the balance of that picture looks like. I don't know what it's like to be another person, let alone in their brain.

In response to: Anger

wellwellwellnezSenior Contributor14 Sept 2021, 10:48 pm AEST

Re: Anger

That's a really interesting share to me. I find it hard for my sadness and anger to share dominance like that. I'm a little almost envious but at the same when I try to imagine what that feels like the word overwhelming comes to mind. Authentic and cathartic but overwhelming all the same.

Remind me to argue with you some time.

In response to: Anger

NatureLoverSenior Contributor15 Sept 2021, 7:30 am AEST

Re: Anger

Question 1:

What feelings on the emotion wheel do you most often experience when you are angry?

I feel mad, aggressive, betrayed, critical, violated, furious, hostile, and let down.

I am horrified to realise that one of the angry things I feel is 'critical'. My super-critical father did a lifetime of damage to me, so I really don't want to be a critical person! Ditto for 'agressive' - oh dear.

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