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Anger

Anger

This fortnight we are starting our first emotion discussion talking about Anger.

Anger is an emotion that we all feel from time to time. It is a natural response to situations in which we feel offended or wronged doing and is usually triggered by external factors, for example, injustice, humiliation, or illnesses, etc. It is generally a quick and intense emotion.

The base emotion of anger can be felt in many ways. We often describe anger by saying “I feel frustrated, I feel annoyed, I feel infuriated”.

Let’s use the emotions of anger and frustration as an example. They are often referred to in conjunction, however there are some underlying differences between the emotions and how it is felt.

Frustration refers to dissatisfaction or disappointment with specific situations, ie when a person fails to fulfill their desires up to their expected level. It is a mix of feeling hopeless, discouraged, sad, and disappointed. It is generally slow and steady, and built up internally. This is just one example of the complexity of anger, and how it is felt.

There are many different ways that we can feel and experience anger, and this is where the emotion wheel can help us to name how anger shows up in our lives. For this discussion, we are focussing on the red section of the wheel:

Feeling anger

When we feel anger, it can impact how we act. This discussion is about exploring what anger looks like in our lives, how we feel it in our body, how we act when we are angry, and what we can do to cope with anger and frustration.

When we can identify how anger shows up for us, and some of the signs we might be experiencing anger, we can take steps to manage the emotion and make better decisions when it comes to our actions.

This discussion will talk about themes such as anger and frustration, and may topics that could be upsetting or triggering for those reading along. There are questions we have planned ahead of time to keep this conversation safe and constructive, but if at any time you feel distressed, you are welcome to reach out to our peer support or counselling services for additional support.

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In response to: Anger

Re: Anger

How do you manage and cope with anger?

I like to step out of the situation and give myself some time out. I later mentalise and reflect on what has happened with the hope of gaining a clearer perspective of the situation. I then work towards whatever is needed whether it be to debrief with someone, clarify a situation etc.

I make sure I do not contact people (email, msg, phone) when I am angry - because it tends to always come out in a way I later regret.

@utopia @cloudcore @TideisTurning @SJT63 @Arizona

In response to: Anger

Re: Anger

@cloudcorelately journaling, distraction witn self care, avoidance/getting away from the person or situation, not replying ro the message until im ready, and addressing the anger i guess/acknowledging what im feeling.

Been some thought provoking questions, interested to see what the next topic will be.

In response to: Anger

Re: Anger

Q4. I manage and cope with anger by:
- Yelling and/or crying
- Scribbling and tearing things up
- Moving/walking/exercising
- Taking PRN meds

- SH (regretfully)
- Spending time with my horse
- Journalling
- Drawing
- Discussing it with others
- Meditating
- Therapy

In response to: Re: Anger

Re: Anger

Hey @RedHorse

Sadly, I have done a lot of the things you describe, but we never had horses, however I did give riding lessons to my kids so they could have that experience a little.

@utopia You touched on an important point about not being in touch with feelings of anger. I have had that a lot.

@SJT63 Giving oneself permission to feel anger is a huge issue. I have had to deal with one a lot too.

Ironically after I was instructed to get into my anger, I then was placed in an uber delicato baby caring situation and so had to clamp down on my anger consciously (mid 20s). As a kid it had never been conscious repression of anger. I was a little cork bobbing on a huge ocean and anger was simply never a viable option.

Over the years I have looked at and worked on all the psychologically "legit" ways of dealing with mager, but they actually assume many factors that are not always present or available to the individual "in the moment".

In response to: Re: Anger

Re: Anger

Final Question:

How do you manage and cope with anger?

I write about it in a document on the computer, like an angry letter to the person, but don't send it. I avoid that person /situation and go and hide from the world for a while. I cry and think endlessly about the situation till it begins to make some sense to me. Writing it down helps it to begin to make sense. If there is no sense that I can see then I try to work on my response. I usually want to angrily contact that person but I make myself not do it till I've thought it all through and hopefully recovered from my anger.

In response to: Anger

Re: Anger

I have been known to slam doors, smash glass, sh, alcohol, cry or I’ll entertain si, write, go for a run, weed the garden.

I’m calmer with my anger responses now than I used to be but Itend to bottle it up more resulting in migraine.

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