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Blaming Myself

OaktreeSenior Contributor11 Sept 2021, 7:50 pm AEST

Blaming Myself

I was a victim of abuse as a child. I had several different abusers. One of the kinds of abuse that I endured was sexual abuse. It happened from the age of 9 until I was around 12 years old. I was too young to know what was happening but I went along with it. I blame myself for what happened even though I theoretically know that it wasn't my fault. I discussed this with my psychologist on Thursday and she said that it is never the victims fault. I don't know how to comprehend this. How can I stop blaming myself and move on?

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In response to: Blaming Myself

AppleblossomSenior Contributor12 Sept 2021, 2:05 pm AEST

Re: Blaming Myself

@Oaktree

It is amazing how putting oneself in another's situation can open eyes of compassion.

Self blame is usually judgment turned inward. I had to work a lot over years to feel any anger at what happened, as my circumstances just did not allow for me to get angry. Yes young folk can play around without adequate activities or guidance.

I have struggled with 'being" bad or dirty. There is so much confusion around sexuality. Go gently with your healing process.

In response to: Blaming Myself

PowderfingerSenior Contributor14 Sept 2021, 9:58 pm AEST

Re: Blaming Myself

@Oaktree

Have you tried turning it around and putting that Shane and dirtiness back on the people responsible. Why do you think you need to wear their shameful and dirty choices? You were an object to them. Whether a child or an adult, a victim never asks for it. The responsibility is on the abuser, not you. We have a way if twisting the truth in our minds. Need to untwist the truth and not reinforce the truth that us basically lies. All the best.

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