Blaming Myself

@Oaktree

I hear you. I am so sorry this happen to you. And you're definately not to blame for this. It is their shame not yours. Thinking of you and wishing you all the best moving forward.

Thank you @oceangirl

I do feel a lot of shame myself over this although I cannot explain why.

@Oaktree

Your welcome.

You don't have to explain but I understand and can relate to how you feel.

Try to raise above this feeling.

You matter and thank you for sharing your story.

Hello @Oaktree

I have experienced sexual assault at different times of my life, starting at age 12. I don't blame myself but I still find it distressing to talk about (or read about other people's experiences of sexual abuse).

As to how to stop blaming yourself... Can you ask yourself why you are blaming yourself?

Also, would this work? A 9-12 year old comes to you and tells you that they have been sexually abused and they are blaming themselves. What would you say to them?

Thanks @Arizona

I never considered what I would say to a child the same age. Of course I would say that it was not their fault. Anyone else's fault but theirs. However one of my abuser's was a child himself so does that mean it wasn't his fault either? If so whose fault was it? I guess my parent could be blamed for failing to provide protection. I don't know... it's a bit complex

It's hard for me to think rationally about it and I want to be careful about what advice I give you.

You have a right to be angry about what happened. Although he was a child as well he did something wrong that had a terrible impact on you.

If you are blaming yourself then you might be feeling angry but turning the anger in on yourself. It's okay to feel angry about what happened.

@Oaktree

@Arizona

I don't think that I feel angry but I definitely feel ashamed and dirty

Whatever happened, it doesn't mean anything about you.

@Oaktree

Thanks @Arizona

Hi @Oaktree

I'm sending you lots of love ❤