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Feeling as if I'll be alone forever.

ShockContributor15 Sept 2016, 7:52 pm AEST

Feeling as if I'll be alone forever.

I feel as if I'm getting old, I've never been in a relationship in my entire life, never even kissed anyone. Instead I cling to ridiculous imaginings and fantasies. In my mind I can be with anyone I want, I can do anything I want. We go to the movies, we go to the beach. We talk to each-other about our dreams, our visions. They're the same person in personality all the time, the looks may vary... but the same person. I made them in my mind. The terrible thing is that it's not real, and I know it's not real... but I just need something. The loneliness can be cripping sometimes. I'm always told by those closest to me that I'll never marry or have children, and I'm scared that they may be right. I just have this shattered feeling that I'll be alone forever, and perhaps I am destined to that fate.

Those that show interest in me, I treat badly. Those that look at me longingly in public places, I scorn at... for they do not fit my ideal. What a terrible way to live. I suppose it's because I'm afraid, but I'm sure it's something deeper than that. Something within me that needs solving.

Does anyone know what I'm feeling? I need help.

28 replies

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In response to: Feeling as if I'll be alone forever.

ShockContributor15 Sept 2016, 10:39 pm AEST

Re: Feeling as if I'll be alone forever.

@utopia

I did 'Your core Values'. Just a short and simple crummy test, and I think mine are:
The quality of the things I do, self-esteem, and Intellectual status. Although, I think a proper psychological evaluation would be better.

I'm sorry to hear about you getting mentally injured in your last job, by the sounds of your posts and reading them you sound like someone with a lot of resilience. In no time, you'll bounce back and come back fighting stronger than ever.

Like the core values test, there's also The MBTI. out of curiosity have you ever heard of that/ done it.

In response to: Feeling as if I'll be alone forever.

ShockContributor15 Sept 2016, 10:44 pm AEST

Re: Feeling as if I'll be alone forever.

Thank-you, @Former-Member.

It is hard, and it doesn't help. I can't help but forgive her, despite everything she does. She's family, I guess. I just end up blanking it out, because I want to keep the peace- that is, after routinely crying in the bathroom.

And dang, you should write a book or something about your old flame. They say love is the best pain one could experience. A wonderful merging of both agony and ecstacy.

You really think so? Thank-you, that means a lot to me. Really. It was so kind of you to post such kind words. Thank-you.

In response to: Feeling as if I'll be alone forever.

utopiaSenior Contributor15 Sept 2016, 11:50 pm AEST

Re: Feeling as if I'll be alone forever.

@Former-Member. The same applies to you. You have lots to offer. And although this relationship didn't work out - it does not mean that love won't come your way again.

In response to: Feeling as if I'll be alone forever.

utopiaSenior Contributor15 Sept 2016, 11:58 pm AEST

Re: Feeling as if I'll be alone forever.

@Shock. No I've never heard of it. You'll have to explain.
We have Values & Core Values. Core Values are the ones we don't even think about. They are our automatic responses. For example: forgiveness might be one of yours.
If someone waa being racially abused - would you step in and help? I would because equality is a Core Value of mine. I don't think about it. It is just important to me. Some may not step in. That doesn't mean they are good or bad. It just means their core values are different. And core values - whatever they may be - are never wrong. They are right for each person.

In response to: Feeling as if I'll be alone forever.

TABSenior Contributor17 Sept 2016, 5:52 am AEST

Re: Feeling as if I'll be alone forever.

In response to: Feeling as if I'll be alone forever.

Jhett707Casual Contributor17 Sept 2016, 8:05 am AEST

Re: Feeling as if I'll be alone forever.

Why has this happened? I too am alone in a marriage that i cant get out of. Want to chat and help each other out?

In response to: Feeling as if I'll be alone forever.

utopiaSenior Contributor17 Sept 2016, 2:04 pm AEST

Re: Feeling as if I'll be alone forever.

@Jhett707. Hi. If you put an @ and then the person's name or names you would like to direct your post to - it will come up on their email - to notify them of a comment for them. Sometimes without a name - some posts might get missed. So maybe you wanted to direct this to @TAB or maybe @Shock. Both will now be able to read this post.
I hope this is helpful.

In response to: Feeling as if I'll be alone forever.

mrkotterSenior Contributor17 Sept 2016, 5:19 pm AEST

Re: Feeling as if I'll be alone forever.

@Shock wrote:
@Alright @mrkotter, that sounds like an interesting discussion! I'm going to start digging for it myself.

http://saneforums.org/t5/Special-Events/Topic-Tuesday-CLOSED-When-mental-illness-impacts-intimacy/m-p/55474/highlight/true#M1513

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