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Feeling as if I'll be alone forever.

ShockContributor15 Sept 2016, 7:52 pm AEST

Feeling as if I'll be alone forever.

I feel as if I'm getting old, I've never been in a relationship in my entire life, never even kissed anyone. Instead I cling to ridiculous imaginings and fantasies. In my mind I can be with anyone I want, I can do anything I want. We go to the movies, we go to the beach. We talk to each-other about our dreams, our visions. They're the same person in personality all the time, the looks may vary... but the same person. I made them in my mind. The terrible thing is that it's not real, and I know it's not real... but I just need something. The loneliness can be cripping sometimes. I'm always told by those closest to me that I'll never marry or have children, and I'm scared that they may be right. I just have this shattered feeling that I'll be alone forever, and perhaps I am destined to that fate.

Those that show interest in me, I treat badly. Those that look at me longingly in public places, I scorn at... for they do not fit my ideal. What a terrible way to live. I suppose it's because I'm afraid, but I'm sure it's something deeper than that. Something within me that needs solving.

Does anyone know what I'm feeling? I need help.

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In response to: Feeling as if I'll be alone forever.

ShockContributor15 Sept 2016, 10:03 pm AEST

Re: Feeling as if I'll be alone forever.

@mrkotter

Thank-you! That means a lot to me. I guess the responsibity lays on me, ultimately. I shouldn't let her bother me, or be an authority in defining who I am as a person. That's another trouble I need to work through, also. Not giving a general 'shit' about negative comments/insults. I truly admire those that approach life with non-chalance. Never bothered. I aspire to be like that.

Thanks, mrkotter. Your time will come too.

In response to: Feeling as if I'll be alone forever.

ShockContributor15 Sept 2016, 10:05 pm AEST

Re: Feeling as if I'll be alone forever.

@mrkotter

You feel that way too? That's awesome! It's so interesting to see other people have the same thoughts as feelings. It allows you to leave the prisons/ confines of your mind.

Yeah I wouldn't mind that. Checking in on ya. I'm new to this forum, I was a bit nervous but I'm glad I joined.

In response to: Feeling as if I'll be alone forever.

BridgetjonesSenior Contributor15 Sept 2016, 10:16 pm AEST

Re: Feeling as if I'll be alone forever.

Hi @Shock. I doubt Ill ever find the right man to marry too. Im 44. Maybe you should try to focus on the good things about being free and single. Know how lonely it can be too. Hope knowing theres someone else in your situation may help you feel a little better

In response to: Feeling as if I'll be alone forever.

utopiaSenior Contributor15 Sept 2016, 10:17 pm AEST

Re: Feeling as if I'll be alone forever.

@Shock. Your cousin is one of those people that get their energy by sucking it from other people. She is obviously a very unhappy woman. No happy person - would belittle someone else. Try and ignore her as much as possible. .@shock & @mrkotter - I've recently been working on my core values with my psychologist. I had to work out what my top five core values were - eg: empathy, respect etc. He told me that a true friend or a suitable partner will also have 4 of our 5 core values minimum. He's right. My ex didn't have my same values. So maybe that's what all three of us need to look for in a partner. Do they share our most important values

In response to: Re: Feeling as if I'll be alone forever.

ShockContributor15 Sept 2016, 10:19 pm AEST

Re: Feeling as if I'll be alone forever.

@Bridgetjones

Thank-you, Bridgetjones. Hahaha I love your screen name. That's awesome!

You're right, I should. A lot of people tell me to enjoy being single, and I guess for me it's about missing what I haven't experienced yet. Relationships that is. And yes, seeing that I'm not alone in this situation sheds tremendous light on my situation. Really, I never realized how self absorbed I was being. There are others just like me at this moment, suffering too.

In response to: Re: Feeling as if I'll be alone forever.

ShockContributor15 Sept 2016, 10:25 pm AEST

Re: Feeling as if I'll be alone forever.

@utopia

She is extremely unhappy, I agree with you there. In moments of vulnerability, that's where I'm effected the most. And I guess, being sick lately her last comment hit me harder than expected.

Core values? That sounds interesting, I may ask my psychologist about that. It sounds like an interesting framework to follow when looking for a prospective partner, romantic or otherwise.

In response to: Feeling as if I'll be alone forever.

utopiaSenior Contributor15 Sept 2016, 10:29 pm AEST

Re: Feeling as if I'll be alone forever.

@Shock. I'm also using it to help me know who to trust - re new friendships & also finding a safe workplace and boss as I'm looking at reentering the workforce after being injured - mentally - in my last job

In response to: Re: Feeling as if I'll be alone forever.

mrkotterSenior Contributor15 Sept 2016, 10:33 pm AEST

Re: Feeling as if I'll be alone forever.

@Shock just remembered their was a topic tuesday on this awhile back that @Former-Member moderated. It's actually the reason I joined.

I'll see if I can dig out tomorrow night.

In response to: Re: Feeling as if I'll be alone forever.

Unknown userMember15 Sept 2016, 10:33 pm AEST

Re: Feeling as if I'll be alone forever.

Hi @Shock, @utopia, @Bridgetjones, @mrkotter

think I should maybe join this club on two fronts. The first is that your cousin is doing so much harm and this is downright bullying at its worst @Shock. I'm really sorry you have to live with this.

Hang in there @Shock. From what you've written I can tell you have heaps to offer someone it just may take time. Relationships are tricky and even when you meet your soulmate things can go horribly wrong too. I met mine but for a strange twist of fate I can't be with him. I now feel like my used by date is expiring, I am older than all of you. But I sincerely believe that there is someone for all of you as I see so much good in you all. Take care and keep believing💜😊

In response to: Re: Feeling as if I'll be alone forever.

ShockContributor15 Sept 2016, 10:35 pm AEST

Re: Feeling as if I'll be alone forever.

Alright @mrkotter, that sounds like an interesting discussion! I'm going to start digging for it myself.

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