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Son with OCD, anxiety & depression

Son with OCD, anxiety & depression

Hi all

my son is nearly 13yo, in his first year of high school, & struggling to stay engaged whilst home learning. He has suffered OCD for several years & it's worse now, to the point he won't sleep in his own bed at all (he is sleeping with me). He is also completely unmotivated with schoolwork, does not contact any of his friends at all since the pandemic started, & is aggressive to me, his dad & his little sister. It is distressing & I worry for his future. We're seeing his psychiatrist again soon but I worry he will live out his threats of violence to one of us one day. No one except me seems to accept he is depressed also - I think it's obvious but the anger issues & depression don't get addressed properly by his specialist, or psychologist. Just putting this out there to get some understanding, I guess. It's such a lonely journey, when your child is mentally ill.

7 replies

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In response to: Son with OCD, anxiety & depression

Re: Son with OCD, anxiety & depression

Hi @QueenCornelia,

I'm not a parent, but I'm a teacher and your are 100% not alone. There are so many young people struggling with mental illness exacerbated by lockdowns and remote learning, and many parents I have spoken to are so overwhelmed and not sure where to turn to.


It sounds like your concerns aren't being addressed by his team. Is it an option to get another professional opinion? What does your son think? Is he self aware?

In response to: Son with OCD, anxiety & depression

Re: Son with OCD, anxiety & depression

Hi @QueenCornelia , I'm sorry your son and you are both struggling with his OCD, depression and aggression.

I don't have any kids but I do have OCD. Can I ask what form your son's OCD takes? Maybe germophobia / counting / checking, or something else? Mine is germophobia.

You said he has a psychiatrist, does the psychiatrist also do talk therapy?

You can also view the other side of the forums here, which are called the Friends, Family and Carers Forum. Just click on "Forums Home" at top left, then scroll down to the Friends, Family and Carers Forum.

In response to: Re: Son with OCD, anxiety & depression

Re: Son with OCD, anxiety & depression

Hi @QueenCornelia ,

Just like @SugarGlider , I'm not a parent but a teacher. We have seen many students (esp teens) struggling through the lockdowns.

It's a tough age for any teen, let alone one who struggles with mental health.

Schools are quite wary of the implications of LD. Have you reached out to the school for supports to be put in place? Many schools do have an in-school psychologist or welfare team/worker. There is also an option of onsite school attendance for those deemed 'vulnerable'.

I hope both you and your son can find some time out to go out for walks, and take in some fresh air. Physical actively has proven to help with depression and reduce cortisol levels. Would this reduce the aggression? It seems like the aggression is part an outburst of frustration.

We're here for you @QueenCornelia . You are not alone. Please continue to reach out.

BPDSurvivor

In response to: Son with OCD, anxiety & depression

Re: Son with OCD, anxiety & depression

I am an adult version of what your child is going through. Not OCD specifically but in the same "nervous cluster" with some extreme and complex avoidance conflicts. Just yesterday I was back in "how do I make all the grown-ups feel my pain?" mode. Thankfully, these episodes have also been far less frequent and I'm already finding my way back to a "dealing with things" mindset. I would love so much much to try and save you some pain and time.

First up, great job with the recognition. Minimising the issue = suppressing the issue = "uh oh". Secondly, awesome job with where you're focussing i.e: the root of the problem. You're behavioural observations are all where its at but you've also connecting those factors with what's going on internally. And you just keep on going, because thirdly, you've acknowledged your own emotions when it comes to these struggles. I think what I'm saying is, can you please adopt some of us?

What's been key for me is a sort of personalised version of acceptance and commitment therapy. Why? Because the ability to accept makes the capacity to commit much easier to meet and far less corrosive over time. A lot of my time has been wasted on believing that I have to deal with everything just to cope a little bit. Other times has been wasted believing that in order to cope I have to sacrifice being able to deal. They're not a binary. They're dimensions.

Not sure if that helps, but I'm happy to take questions. Boy oh boy do I wish I could share what I've found with my 13 year old self. I'd happily settle for being able to help with your scenario.

In response to: Re: Son with OCD, anxiety & depression

Re: Son with OCD, anxiety & depression

Hi @SugarGlider yes he's quite aware of his situation most of the time, he asks why he gets so angry, & he says he has 'social anxiety'. He's quite open & accepting at home about his OCD. I feel we have struggled for years with his anger, but feel the psychiatrist is the closest we've come to having it recognized. His lack of engagement in anything worries me, as does his anger. I just want this pandemic to go away! Thanks for listening.

In response to: Re: Son with OCD, anxiety & depression

Re: Son with OCD, anxiety & depression

Hi @NatureLover his OCD is a bit 'germy' but mostly it's around routines & rituals, eg no one can talk to him while he washes his hands, you can't even stand outside the bathroom. Also about placement of things in a certain way in his room. Not sure what the name of the type of therapy the psychiatrist does but he seems to know what he's talking about! Thanks for the tips for the forums, I will definitely visit them, cheers.

In response to: Re: Son with OCD, anxiety & depression

Re: Son with OCD, anxiety & depression

Hi @QueenCornelia ...thanks for sharing. I find it fascinating, the different forms that OCD takes.

Is the name of the therapy the psychiatrist uses 'Exposure Therapy'? I only asked as not many psychiatrists do counselling, they mostly just do meds reviews. So if you've found one that does counselling, you're in luck.

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