I think life would be easier to just give up trying

Hello @HenryX and @Appleblossom thank you for responding you both are my words of wisdom also.

Yes, the attacks have been with me for a lot of years now. @AussieRecharger

Thinking back they started with a work injury/workers comp and what effect workers comp. had on my mental health.

Henry it was my clinical Psychologist who said last year that in her opinion therapy wasn't suitable for me. I was trying to not walk away from Drs as I am going to have to learn to tolerate others opinions more. It is me with a disorder not them. But there is just no emotion in her eyes I can't read her. She's a serious type person who is probably very intelligent and being a large practice they are probably under pressure to get people in and out ASAP. But I was strong enough to tell her how upsetting her lack of response and attitude was ( even if it effected me ) I have given it some thought and will once again see her when I need to, if this doesn't go well then I will try to find another GP

How wonderful that your mother got to be 92 and had such a caring Dr I am not surprised you travel such great distance to be cared for by the same person. I have struggled to find a GP since mine returned to live in the UK It is hard work having to go through your medical history etc with a new Dr. As @Appleblossom stated we are the bread and butter of the med. profession and shouldn't be treated badly.

I hope you are well and moving forward with the repairs from the devastation of the cyclone. Take care 🤗❤️

Thank you @Owlunar 💞

If you don't mind @Former-Member, I am going to have a go at connecting the dots. You can totally ignore me or ask me to go away and that's fine.

I get the feeling that the housework is connecting with feelings of guilt, that somehow if the housework had been done better then the traumatic experience would not have happened.

I also wonder if you don't feel safe until the housework is done and when you fall behind, you get anxious that something bad is about to happen. It sounds like you are in a safe and loving environment and have nothing to fear.. is that correct?

I wonder if the camping changes the scenario as it's not a house, and therefore not connected with your trauma.

I don't need to know trauma details as I can't help with the event that has past but if you do feel that it did affect you, I would love to know how those events left you feeling then and how they have developed in your life until now.

I would recommend you looking into a therapist that works in Trauma informed care such as

https://www.complextraumawa.org.au/about-cotwa/

I have hope for you @Former-Member and I wish you the best of luck on the next part of your journey. I hope i have not overstepped the line and this helps you to move forward.

Thank you for your correspondence @AussieRecharger

I am unable to take al this in tonight as I took a sedative to get through the huge crowds and very long waiting time to have my appt. for the AZ 2nd shot at the shopping centre. Busy day today too. I will respond tomorrow X

Hello @AussieRecharger

I have had a brief look at the COTWA website and will read it tomorrow. The specific area that they are targetting relates to some issues that I am still dealing with. Not having been aware of the organisation and their purpose, your suggestion may be timely for me. Thank you.

Best Wishes

@HenryX

Your welcome @HenryX . For me, this place would not be the same without you. Reading your posts is both calming and inspiring for me so if I can help you in any way, it honestly feels like helping a brother.

Good luck my friend.

Hello @AussieRecharger

Thank you very much for your response and such positive comments.

Really, greatly appreciated and very pleased to be able to offer what I have, in terms of thoughts experience and research. Likewise, I often see the information and the types of enqiries you make as leading to a better expansion and exploration of issues that people are facing.

I am sometimes a little self conscious about the length of my posts, but people don't have a choice to read something that is not there. However, members have the choice not to read posts for any number of reasons, and I content myself with that thought.

Thank you very much again for a comment that is very reassuring and supportive.

With My Best Wishes

@HenryX

Hi @AussieRecharger I think with the housework it is that I am house proud. Grew up in state housing in the UK not much money always felt like I couldn't bring friends home, not just because of the house as my mother was a clean and tidy person. But because of her husbands snide remarks, behaviour towards friends. A nice house was something that I always wanted and makes me feel good. But I do feel tied and overwhelmed like others do. Especially with possessions. I have for some time being declutering but also find this very difficult as memories of my own family our part of those but it does free me when I let them go or give it to them!

Yes I am in a safe and loving environment. Got married at 17years old just! Still married to him...Lol

Traveling gives me a sense of freedom and escape from commitments and yes the house. Clean the van in minutes, so much to see and do. Our time now eh?

i have lots of guilt, always have from very young, I have been told many times that I am too hard on myself. But that's why we end up with a serious MI.

You asked...Trauma, and how those events left you feeling then and how they have developed into your life now? I don't know how to answer this, it just overwhelms me. I don't have the mental strength to go there.

@AussieRecharger You have not over stepped the line, I thank you for your interest in me and the time that you have put into me. Thank you ❤️