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Something’s not right

Blah blah blah

Blah blah blah

There's been a lot going on in in my head this week. I don't know what I want anymore, if anything. I feel guilty being on the forums, i think because while I don't feel like I'm fixable I still want connections and support. But maybe that's selfish of me. And as it would appear, is not the purpose of the forums. I know I can look too far into things, paranoia/poopy brain issues do that. But I've been feeling like i shouldn't be here on the forums anymore. And i can't tell if it's in my head or not. I know I break a lot of guidelines here and i guess that just goes hand in hand with the things i need to talk about. Which makes it difficult.

I feel like I'm at a point where there's not a lot i can do to help or change things. I don't mean to get on here and post useless things like this. But i guess it's a coping method. Like journaling but with validation.

very fu*king depressed but I don't feel hopeful of change. I don't have a desire to do anything to improve my current situation. I dont want to call helplines or anything. I can't. It's hard enough talking to my psychologist at times. It's at a point where every option feels ultimately pointless. And all of that makes me think I shouldn't be on the forums. Like im doing something wrong. And maybe i am. Maybe it's not fair for someone who feels this hopeless to get on here and wallow when there's people on here who want to climb out of the darkness. Maybe I'm a hinderance.

Im processing a lot atm. Mainly the ugliness of the other night with one of the worst conversations I've had with my ex. Feel like little by little my spirit has been getting broken this year. I logically know a lot of what my ex said is bullshit--or at least one sided. But I guess maybe, it wasn't all bullshit. It wasn't nice, fair, or reasonable, but true...

I haven't ever been very capable at life. Big or small things. I have spent a lot of time struggling with my mental health. It's gotten in the way of living a normal life.

With work, I can fall back on my small business--but it's not a steady income as it's dependent on my level of motivation. It has the potential to grow and become more than it is, but I'm not capable of doing that right now. My inability to bring in big bucks was apprently on the list of reasons why my ex left me. One of my fears realised.

Not being proactive enough regarding household chores--yes I'm terrible at it. There's no good excuse, I'm lazy. I find it a task to do anything really. If i can muster up some motivation I want to put that into time with my kid or getting work done. Another fear realised.

And of course the big one, sex. I wish it was simple for me, but it's not. I feel like i tried explaining things as best I could, and we hd many many uncomfortable talks about it all. Horrible talks. Soul crushing talks. Talks that made me feel inadequate. Talks that make me think I'm only worthy if i make a decent wage and can perform on command.

These are all things that i hate about myself and they're where I'm vulnerable. Having not one of these things but all of them thrown at me has been rough. I know though, I know it was all warranted. Wasn't fun to hear but it is truthful. Doesn't address any of the flaws my ex has or the reasons why I am the way I am, but I guess what it boils down to is that didn't matter to her.

Ive been working on my communication over these past few years, and I have changed a lot. Anger doesn't control me--at least not all the time. I can have conversations, I can feel anger and not act on it, I can listen. But I'm still me. I'm still depressed. And that's just not going to change. The things that attribute to my shitty mental health aren't things I feel I can overcome. Best case scenario I manage to get by and have more days out of bed than in it. But it's not enough is it? I am not enough. And I never have been. I know that, I've always known that. But hearing those are all the reasons why my ex is gone hurts. But maybe that's justified.

Im really battling it out in my head. I feel worthless. Useless. Unlovable. And not just because of my ex, it's everything in my life. I feel like I'm getting pushed to the edge, and I used to fight it, I used to want to fight it. But i feel emptiness like I've never felt before. It hurts. Alot. I'm screwed up, I know that, but it hurts so much more having it thrown in my face. I'm useless. Broken beyond repair.

I want to take my life. I've been going over it a lot this week. Told myself that today would be the day since I'm on my own tonight. Have gone over how I'd do it and figured out a plan so I'm not lying around here for my son to find me. I have it worked out, I could do it, so what's stopping me? My son. Every time I think about going through with it he pops into my head.

I know I'm not a prize. I know I'm better off alone. I know I'm no good in relationships. But I know my son doesn't need me to be any of those things. And that's all that should matter. My son just needs me to be here. And I tell myself that but then I find ways around it, asking myself what kind of example my life sets for him? What will he become because of me? What if I let him down? What if choosing to survive means i continue to drown and get to a point where my suffering befomes his own? And I think people are quick to dismiss these questions, but they're real. Some kids are better off without their real parents. Some kids become irreparably screwed up thanks to their parents. So I'm left asking myself which choice will inflict the least amount of damage?

I haven't made it out of bed yet. Told myself I'd go to the bottle shop, get something nice, and just see where the night goes. I kind of know where it's going if I follow that path. But maybe that's the real reason I'm still in bed, to keep myself safe. But why? I don't know. I'm afraid of the damage it will cause my son. But I don't know for certain if staying alive is going to cause any less damage in the long run. I think about the things that happened to me and particularly about the abuse my brother and I suffered through from our mother. I think about the person I could be now if it weren't for her. I think about it a lot. And it's a big factor for me to weigh in.

I don't expect anyone to have answers or a response here. But I'm sad, alone, just need to be heard I guess.

244 replies

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Hey mate @saltandpepper
Whats up ?

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No ....wait......

I have been trying to respond to you @saltandpepper

I have been procrastingating again...

It takes me so long to reply as I overthink things and yes blah blah blah suits me..

You have done absolutely nothing wrong or said anything that justifies you leaving...

I think that your writing, journalling on here helps you without you being aware as you are within the midst of it all....

you are actually working through your feelings which have been with you for so long and are now coming closer to the surface....you might be experience physical feelings also..

I notice discomfort in abdomen...as in nausea....digestive track.....throat ....mouth....

I often use the terminology....regurgitate ..as I literally feel that I am throwing up emotion...

Your honesty and vulnerability reaches me as I am so familiar with these feelings from childhood buried deep as a way of survival....

the human mind does play tricks on us when we question ourselves ....it does not like change...

an appointment with your psychologist will help you I believe...

Would you be able to read what you have written via access from your phone?

You are not the first person to feel misunderstood.

I have been in the naughty corner many times....

Deleted what I have written..

worried about who have I offended now..

Oh I should not be on here as upset too many people...

This is part of why I have not responded..

I felt that I am being moderated...

Responses to different people seem to be under the close eye of moderators.

That says to me....Oh they are concerned that my honesty is going to upset someone...

Come and sit in the naughty corner with me.....

I know that there will be others who will join us...

We are not alone @saltandpepper

You might even think of some you might like to invite.

Would you like to start a new thread called the naughty corner or shall I?

Or is that all sounding too childish and too much.

Now I am worried that I might have upset you further....

See how it happens just like that??

Your friends are here on the forum waiting for you....

In response to: Re: Blah blah blah

Re: Blah blah blah

Ohhh no son @saltandpepper

What happened??

Here for you

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Re: Blah blah blah

Here for you @saltandpepper

Sorry I'm seeing this late. Working but will keep one eye open on here.

It's easy to feel misunderstood when it comes to online as there is no body language. I don't think you would have done anything wrong sweetheart. Have patience with the process. Talk to @Daisydreamer with whatever the reason for the email. Don't let it be a deterrent hun, we all love you here 🙏💙

Tell me you hear me S&P...

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Hi @saltandpepper 👋 your Clawde here for you we all love you make this place great 😍🙏

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Hi @Sophia1 ,

I hear your concerns, feeling moderated and scutinised isn't a nice at all. It's understandable that you may feel hesitant to express yourself as a result. I know that I can assure you and the rest of our community that we are doing our best to keep the space safe for everyone and somewhere where everyones experiences and voices are heard and validated. Despite those intentions, at times we can miss things, so if you have any concerns please don't hesitate to raise them directly with our community managers at team@saneforums.org

Your voices are important.

from cloudcore

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Hey there @saltandpepper just dropping you in some love 💙🙏💙

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@saltandpepper missing you this place is your tribe, we all miss you 😢

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Oh no @saltandpepper , please stay...it seems like something imploded here yesterday...but I wanted to write and say that I value your caring and support. You are someone who always remembers what people have told you about themselves. That is a rare skill. You are quick to welcome people and invite them to share something of themselves and their troubles, so you can support them. And you do an amazing job with looking after your son, when you find it so hard to stay present, due to your past trauma which is not your fault at all.

I am sending wishes for you, that the psychologist can be supportive and helpful, that you can get whatever you need to continue just when you need it, that your ex will not say any.more hurtful things, that you can find some hope for the future.

I'm sorry for your sufferings 😥 and I really hope you will stay here with people who care about you @saltandpepper .

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try not to stress about it @saltandpepper see what happens if they reply .there are people on here who are on at least their third incarnation .. they just make a new profile and come back ..

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