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Something’s not right

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There's been a lot going on in in my head this week. I don't know what I want anymore, if anything. I feel guilty being on the forums, i think because while I don't feel like I'm fixable I still want connections and support. But maybe that's selfish of me. And as it would appear, is not the purpose of the forums. I know I can look too far into things, paranoia/poopy brain issues do that. But I've been feeling like i shouldn't be here on the forums anymore. And i can't tell if it's in my head or not. I know I break a lot of guidelines here and i guess that just goes hand in hand with the things i need to talk about. Which makes it difficult.

I feel like I'm at a point where there's not a lot i can do to help or change things. I don't mean to get on here and post useless things like this. But i guess it's a coping method. Like journaling but with validation.

very fu*king depressed but I don't feel hopeful of change. I don't have a desire to do anything to improve my current situation. I dont want to call helplines or anything. I can't. It's hard enough talking to my psychologist at times. It's at a point where every option feels ultimately pointless. And all of that makes me think I shouldn't be on the forums. Like im doing something wrong. And maybe i am. Maybe it's not fair for someone who feels this hopeless to get on here and wallow when there's people on here who want to climb out of the darkness. Maybe I'm a hinderance.

Im processing a lot atm. Mainly the ugliness of the other night with one of the worst conversations I've had with my ex. Feel like little by little my spirit has been getting broken this year. I logically know a lot of what my ex said is bullshit--or at least one sided. But I guess maybe, it wasn't all bullshit. It wasn't nice, fair, or reasonable, but true...

I haven't ever been very capable at life. Big or small things. I have spent a lot of time struggling with my mental health. It's gotten in the way of living a normal life.

With work, I can fall back on my small business--but it's not a steady income as it's dependent on my level of motivation. It has the potential to grow and become more than it is, but I'm not capable of doing that right now. My inability to bring in big bucks was apprently on the list of reasons why my ex left me. One of my fears realised.

Not being proactive enough regarding household chores--yes I'm terrible at it. There's no good excuse, I'm lazy. I find it a task to do anything really. If i can muster up some motivation I want to put that into time with my kid or getting work done. Another fear realised.

And of course the big one, sex. I wish it was simple for me, but it's not. I feel like i tried explaining things as best I could, and we hd many many uncomfortable talks about it all. Horrible talks. Soul crushing talks. Talks that made me feel inadequate. Talks that make me think I'm only worthy if i make a decent wage and can perform on command.

These are all things that i hate about myself and they're where I'm vulnerable. Having not one of these things but all of them thrown at me has been rough. I know though, I know it was all warranted. Wasn't fun to hear but it is truthful. Doesn't address any of the flaws my ex has or the reasons why I am the way I am, but I guess what it boils down to is that didn't matter to her.

Ive been working on my communication over these past few years, and I have changed a lot. Anger doesn't control me--at least not all the time. I can have conversations, I can feel anger and not act on it, I can listen. But I'm still me. I'm still depressed. And that's just not going to change. The things that attribute to my shitty mental health aren't things I feel I can overcome. Best case scenario I manage to get by and have more days out of bed than in it. But it's not enough is it? I am not enough. And I never have been. I know that, I've always known that. But hearing those are all the reasons why my ex is gone hurts. But maybe that's justified.

Im really battling it out in my head. I feel worthless. Useless. Unlovable. And not just because of my ex, it's everything in my life. I feel like I'm getting pushed to the edge, and I used to fight it, I used to want to fight it. But i feel emptiness like I've never felt before. It hurts. Alot. I'm screwed up, I know that, but it hurts so much more having it thrown in my face. I'm useless. Broken beyond repair.

I want to take my life. I've been going over it a lot this week. Told myself that today would be the day since I'm on my own tonight. Have gone over how I'd do it and figured out a plan so I'm not lying around here for my son to find me. I have it worked out, I could do it, so what's stopping me? My son. Every time I think about going through with it he pops into my head.

I know I'm not a prize. I know I'm better off alone. I know I'm no good in relationships. But I know my son doesn't need me to be any of those things. And that's all that should matter. My son just needs me to be here. And I tell myself that but then I find ways around it, asking myself what kind of example my life sets for him? What will he become because of me? What if I let him down? What if choosing to survive means i continue to drown and get to a point where my suffering befomes his own? And I think people are quick to dismiss these questions, but they're real. Some kids are better off without their real parents. Some kids become irreparably screwed up thanks to their parents. So I'm left asking myself which choice will inflict the least amount of damage?

I haven't made it out of bed yet. Told myself I'd go to the bottle shop, get something nice, and just see where the night goes. I kind of know where it's going if I follow that path. But maybe that's the real reason I'm still in bed, to keep myself safe. But why? I don't know. I'm afraid of the damage it will cause my son. But I don't know for certain if staying alive is going to cause any less damage in the long run. I think about the things that happened to me and particularly about the abuse my brother and I suffered through from our mother. I think about the person I could be now if it weren't for her. I think about it a lot. And it's a big factor for me to weigh in.

I don't expect anyone to have answers or a response here. But I'm sad, alone, just need to be heard I guess.

244 replies

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I'm happy to hear you're safe, @BlueBay.

Isolation is incredibly hard, and it's okay to feel flat and unmotivated as a result. I have periods where I feel like that too. Do you have people around you that you can lean on and stay connected to at this time?

from cloudcore

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Hello @saltandpepper

Take 2..following on from lost response last night.....

Reading along the banter between several of you cheers me up ...I love spontaneity.

I have had conversations similar but not for some time now.

When in that mode it is a magical potion...

Thank you so much for offer of support also...

I tend to hide away as I feel that I am far too dark and deep..

My style is to use the thread as a journal.

It does seem contradictory as I offer support to others and ask them to tag me. hnnmn...

I am very complex laugh....

I also do not check in daily........do not like the thought of not responding to a caring person...

Focus on you. You will still be recovering from your own experience. So do not spread yourself too wide.

Love the fact that you can keep those friendships that you have .....including wit..

You do have an infectious personality....so something else to remind yourself of laugh...

hence so many people write to you...

💛💚 I am offering yellow and green hearts to people today.....yellow for sunshine and green for nature....nature is a wonderful healer....

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@Sophia1 Im at a loss for words here, what a heart warming post. Thank you for taking the time to pop back in and repost. And yes, please do tag me if you ever want/need to chat 👍

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Been a while since the last time this all happened, not sleeping. I can feel the distress on the inside, the anxiety that keeps me so wired I can't even close my eyes. But why the distress? Why now? What is it in this particular moment that's setting it off?

Emotions, feelings, thoughts, it all feels disconnected. I can't get to them. They're there, but it's like they're out of reach, barricaded and boarded up so I can't touch them.

I know something is wrong because I can't sleep, again, but what's causing this? I don't know. I'm sure the answer is there, I'm sure when I can make sense of it, it'll be obvious.

I try to focus my thoughts and separate them from one another but I can't. My mind is skipping. Like my own mind doesn't want me to focus on anything. Maybe it's doing that to save me? Protect myself from myself?

If I close my eyes, breathe, and try to settle my mind, I panic. My heart starts racing and I can't follow from one thought to the next. Skip. Skip. Skip.

I feel like I want to cry, but nothing happens. But why do I feel that way? I don't know. Maybe that's just a byproduct of not sleeping. Feeling sadness and wanting to let it out but being too disconnected and tired to do anything about it.

This disconnect, it gets uncomfortable. I don't really remember a time when I wasn't like this, but it's only something I've become aware of in recent years. Timing probably coincides with when I started therapy.

I didn't grow up in an environment where healthy feelings or emotions were expressed. It was anger. It was volatile. It was damaging. Of course it hurt at the time and I was a miserable fu*k because of it. But the worst thing about growing up like that is I don't feel normal or capable as an adult. Out of the environment, but I'm no better for it really. Maybe experiences like that have moulded me into who I am, and now I'm only capable of surviving in hostile environments. Maybe that's the only place I belong. I don't know. I hope not.

I don't know how to deal with anything when it comes to emotions and feelings. I feel like I can't recognise them in myself at times, I can't make sense of them, I don't understand them, I question them, I drown in them. I don't have a good grasp on dealing with them as they arise. It feels like all or nothing with me at times.

I think I get overwhelmed with it a lot. I feel something and it's like it's so foreign to my mind that I just panic. I know I'm not the angry person I once was, but now, the other side of that is my protective layer is gone. Anger kept me safe, anger kept me from feeling. And now things are coming up and life happens and it's a ride. Now I'm an adult but in my mind, I'm still a kid. An adult that didn't have healthy experiences as a child and who now isn't equipped to function as a healthy adult. Broken. Broken and continuing to break.

I feel overwhelmed. There's too much going on in my head and I guess that's why I can't make sense of anything right now. Maybe I'm not capable of dealing with any of this shit. Maybe I don't want to be capable. No, I do. It's just overwhelming. I want to have a better understanding of myself and keep working on things. It's just rough I guess.

seeing psychologist soon, have been hesitant in going back but we'll see what happens I guess. Not sure if I want to continue on with it anymore, at least for now. But then at the same time, I feel like I'm too screwed up to navigate life without help. And it has been life changing. Changed in ways I didn't know or believe I could.

I don't know. It's another unsettled and long night here. Hoping my rambling nonsense will help calm my mind enough so I can switch off and get some rest tonight.

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Hi @saltandpepper, It sounds like you had a really rough night, i'm sorry to hear that. I hear that you're overwhelmed with emotion and at the moment things are difficult for you and all this can be challenging to navigate. It sounds like you've come a long way but I understand that its difficult when our protective layers are removed.

How are you feeling this morning?

You mentioned that you have a psychologist who you are seeing soon but is there anyone you're able to reach out to between now and when you see them?

Is there something nice you're able to do for yourself today?

Take care, CalmingNature

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Yeah I'll be ok thanks @Former-Member just tired

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@saltandpepper, I'm glad to hear that you'll be ok. Reach out if you need

Take care, CalmingNature

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Cheers @Former-Member 👍

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@Daisydreamer I received your email but still unable to send a response from my email account--I have to look into it. Do you want me to respond here?

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I feel like I'm always doing something wrong on here @Daisydreamer

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