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Something’s not right

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There's been a lot going on in in my head this week. I don't know what I want anymore, if anything. I feel guilty being on the forums, i think because while I don't feel like I'm fixable I still want connections and support. But maybe that's selfish of me. And as it would appear, is not the purpose of the forums. I know I can look too far into things, paranoia/poopy brain issues do that. But I've been feeling like i shouldn't be here on the forums anymore. And i can't tell if it's in my head or not. I know I break a lot of guidelines here and i guess that just goes hand in hand with the things i need to talk about. Which makes it difficult.

I feel like I'm at a point where there's not a lot i can do to help or change things. I don't mean to get on here and post useless things like this. But i guess it's a coping method. Like journaling but with validation.

very fu*king depressed but I don't feel hopeful of change. I don't have a desire to do anything to improve my current situation. I dont want to call helplines or anything. I can't. It's hard enough talking to my psychologist at times. It's at a point where every option feels ultimately pointless. And all of that makes me think I shouldn't be on the forums. Like im doing something wrong. And maybe i am. Maybe it's not fair for someone who feels this hopeless to get on here and wallow when there's people on here who want to climb out of the darkness. Maybe I'm a hinderance.

Im processing a lot atm. Mainly the ugliness of the other night with one of the worst conversations I've had with my ex. Feel like little by little my spirit has been getting broken this year. I logically know a lot of what my ex said is bullshit--or at least one sided. But I guess maybe, it wasn't all bullshit. It wasn't nice, fair, or reasonable, but true...

I haven't ever been very capable at life. Big or small things. I have spent a lot of time struggling with my mental health. It's gotten in the way of living a normal life.

With work, I can fall back on my small business--but it's not a steady income as it's dependent on my level of motivation. It has the potential to grow and become more than it is, but I'm not capable of doing that right now. My inability to bring in big bucks was apprently on the list of reasons why my ex left me. One of my fears realised.

Not being proactive enough regarding household chores--yes I'm terrible at it. There's no good excuse, I'm lazy. I find it a task to do anything really. If i can muster up some motivation I want to put that into time with my kid or getting work done. Another fear realised.

And of course the big one, sex. I wish it was simple for me, but it's not. I feel like i tried explaining things as best I could, and we hd many many uncomfortable talks about it all. Horrible talks. Soul crushing talks. Talks that made me feel inadequate. Talks that make me think I'm only worthy if i make a decent wage and can perform on command.

These are all things that i hate about myself and they're where I'm vulnerable. Having not one of these things but all of them thrown at me has been rough. I know though, I know it was all warranted. Wasn't fun to hear but it is truthful. Doesn't address any of the flaws my ex has or the reasons why I am the way I am, but I guess what it boils down to is that didn't matter to her.

Ive been working on my communication over these past few years, and I have changed a lot. Anger doesn't control me--at least not all the time. I can have conversations, I can feel anger and not act on it, I can listen. But I'm still me. I'm still depressed. And that's just not going to change. The things that attribute to my shitty mental health aren't things I feel I can overcome. Best case scenario I manage to get by and have more days out of bed than in it. But it's not enough is it? I am not enough. And I never have been. I know that, I've always known that. But hearing those are all the reasons why my ex is gone hurts. But maybe that's justified.

Im really battling it out in my head. I feel worthless. Useless. Unlovable. And not just because of my ex, it's everything in my life. I feel like I'm getting pushed to the edge, and I used to fight it, I used to want to fight it. But i feel emptiness like I've never felt before. It hurts. Alot. I'm screwed up, I know that, but it hurts so much more having it thrown in my face. I'm useless. Broken beyond repair.

I want to take my life. I've been going over it a lot this week. Told myself that today would be the day since I'm on my own tonight. Have gone over how I'd do it and figured out a plan so I'm not lying around here for my son to find me. I have it worked out, I could do it, so what's stopping me? My son. Every time I think about going through with it he pops into my head.

I know I'm not a prize. I know I'm better off alone. I know I'm no good in relationships. But I know my son doesn't need me to be any of those things. And that's all that should matter. My son just needs me to be here. And I tell myself that but then I find ways around it, asking myself what kind of example my life sets for him? What will he become because of me? What if I let him down? What if choosing to survive means i continue to drown and get to a point where my suffering befomes his own? And I think people are quick to dismiss these questions, but they're real. Some kids are better off without their real parents. Some kids become irreparably screwed up thanks to their parents. So I'm left asking myself which choice will inflict the least amount of damage?

I haven't made it out of bed yet. Told myself I'd go to the bottle shop, get something nice, and just see where the night goes. I kind of know where it's going if I follow that path. But maybe that's the real reason I'm still in bed, to keep myself safe. But why? I don't know. I'm afraid of the damage it will cause my son. But I don't know for certain if staying alive is going to cause any less damage in the long run. I think about the things that happened to me and particularly about the abuse my brother and I suffered through from our mother. I think about the person I could be now if it weren't for her. I think about it a lot. And it's a big factor for me to weigh in.

I don't expect anyone to have answers or a response here. But I'm sad, alone, just need to be heard I guess.

244 replies

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Morning @saltandpepper thinking of you. How are you this morning? Did you manage to cook dinner? Here with you xxx

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Hope you're ok @saltandpepper

xxoo

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It's a better day today thanks @BlueBay how about yourself

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I'm so happy to see today is a better day for you @saltandpepper

what are you up to today? anything exciting?

i went for a small walk before and finally had a shower. My motivation and mood is very low today, i think because today is the first day home alone for me without work as well. and my mind is goiong everywhere.

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Can sort of feel mood plummeting a bit here @BlueBay least it was a good start to the day I guess.

Yeah I hear ya @BlueBay home alone is when shit all hits the fan doesn't it? You did good getting out for the walk, do you have a dog? I can't remember sorry. What else is on for today? Bit of knitting? I remember trying to learn to knit, i could do finger knitting haha. Though i think from memory it was just trying a bunch of knots over and over.

No plans today. Got some work done this morning but probs going to wind down a bit now. Keep on top of the mood situation

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Hello @Clawde

Love this response.

We should all make a handmade plaque in all of our free time not asked for (lockdown)

Inscribing Clawde's words.


@Clawde wrote:

Icreams and pizzas soft drinks go with anything yummmy @saltandpepper @Clawde has them in stock, like toilet paper .



🍕🍦


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Hello @saltandpepper (apologies had to edit)

You have been struggling so hard and you are this side of that struggle at the moment.

Letting some of it out on virtual paper I call it, is so blooming hard at the time, leaving you feeling draining.

In the following days you start to notice how it has helped.

Still leaves a strange feeling; this too can eventually be noticed and understood.

You reached out on here and look at how many came to you.

They helped you and you did all of the hard work.

A lovely experience to hold onto if you can.

When you feel lonely in the real world try to think about how you are valued and important to your friends on here who have told you so.

Not easy to do , I do know. I try and work on this one.

I too have just regurgitated a whole lifetime of stuff on a thread and felt so blech and rockbottom.

I thought that not one person would notice as I do not tag people when I am like that.

My loving friends found me and helped to hold me up.....pure human love that is.....cherished.

You do it the right way you tag people.

I don't, I have dealt with my issues on my own for the majority of my life.

My go to place when I hurt so much is self isolation. Not good.

So yes I write essays. Sorry for headache read.

Just want to tell you to be proud for being where you are now, from where you were.

Still a way to go.......then that is life.

That special adorable little man of yours really is a wonderful young man isn't he, to get you here. You are both meant to be in each other's lives, always,

no matter what.

I will go now. 🧡 an orange heart for friendship and care.

Sophia 1

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Hey @Sophia1 thanks for the heart felt response. Much appreciated.

Tagging people is definitely the smart thing to do Nd feel welcome to tag me anytime in your posts. It's pretty easy to miss current active topics if you don't search properly. So tag away.

Yeah not gonna lie @Sophia1 I was a bit blown away by the support I've had on here over the past few days. I'm very grateful to everyone who makes the time to hang about here with me. Very lucky.

If you'd like to tag me in the post your talking about here I'd be happy to read and respond tonight. We can av a chat if you're about.

Must admit, have had a couple moments throughout the day where I've been like wtf happened to my brain last week? Very glad to be out of the thick of it now and hopefully smoother sailing this week.

Anyway, thanks for dropping in, glad you did

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Responded then lost it. Will try to respond tomorrow. Thank you @saltandpepper

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No worries @Sophia1 👍

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