Horrible friends

Hi @Flower88. Trying to explain any sort of anxiety/depression to someone who has never experienced it, is like trying to teach someone a foreign language. The more you try to put it in words of plain English, the more gibberish you sound. Emotions take over because you get more anxious trying to explain why you are feeling the way you do. Also people who have never experienced any form of anxiety/depression will frequently tell you to 'snap out of it', or 'rise above it'. It makes you simmer because you feel totally alone with your breathing and dizziness. Anxiety causes breathing difficulties which in turn causes dizziness. This is not helped by inappropriate comments such as what you're experiencing. There is never a time limit on overcoming anxiety. It's like grieving. Everyone deal with grief in their own way and time. You sound as though you are actually doing really well, doing what is right for you. The hardest thing to do when people make these inappropriate comments is to learn to ignore them. Don't apologize or try to explain. Next time someone says something that upsets you, just answer by saying, you're entitled to your opinions and leave it at that. The more you try to explain, the more anxious you become and that starts the difficulty with breathing. We all deal with problems differently, as I said your best bet is to simply try to ignore. If you feel yourself getting uptight and breathing becomes difficult, shut your eyes (if possible), concentrate on your breathing, breath slowly. Inhale slowly through your nose, exhale slowly out of your mouth and put your naturopath's suggestions (if you have any) into practise. If you have breathing exercises, use them as well.

Hi @pip thanks for that 🙂 I have stopped responding to her as its too difficult to deal with emotionally and I'm at an appointment. Sitting in my naturopath is so much better makes me feel calm. She said she has had anxiety, I don't understand how as she has no understanding. I'm not trying to let it take over me , im trying to manage it by doing things that make me feel better. I'm sick of expectations from people around me and getting better, it makes me feel rushed and my anxiety worse. I feel like I have to hurry up and I don't slow down and my mind goes 2 million miles per hour. 😭

Hi @Flower88. I think your so-called friends' interpretation of anxiety is a lot different to what anxiety actually is. I think you're handling your problem the only way you can. As I said if whatever you do, works, obviously it's right for you. Once you accept yourself for who and what you are, and accept your limitations you will start to find yourself feeling happier. People who expect more from you than you can give, usually have extremely high expectations of themselves, and often let themselves down in the process. Be kind to yourself and take care. You never know, next time you have contact with this so-called friend, she could be the one asking for help with her anxieties. The problem there would be the overwhelming temptation to say, 'you're blaming your anxiety'. Paybacks etc. Take care of yourself and do what makes you feel good.

Thanks @pip I really needed to hear that 😊

@Flower88 People/friends can be so hurtful. Like @pip said (hi @pip), people who have never experienced anxiety or depression will never understand. Sounds like your friend hasn't experienced it to the extent that you do. I got to stage where I had to stop contact with friends who couldn't understand. It was making me feel worse. We all have our own different ways of coping. 💗

Hi @Former-Member yeah I think I will talk to her less, that was too stressful for me. She could have had anxiety but she hadn't experienced what I have by how unsupportive I felt she was. I kept saying I have chronic dizziness and she didn't seem to get that.

@Flower88 Good idea. Hopefully you have other better friends. You need kind, caring friends now. 😊🌸🌹🌼🌻🌷

Hi @Former-Member I have a few lovely people in my life, but have lost quite a lot, everyone acts like this is contagious disease and you don't seem to hear from them as much. If I didn't contact them I would never hear from them again. 😒 Thanks for all your support.

Same here @Flower88
I've had a big long break away from friends. Some I will reconnect with, but some I'll leave behind, too much hurt and it would continue to be hurtful. Had a cuppa with a friend last week, first time in ages. Was lovely to catchup. She understands, because we are similar. But I always make the effort, I'm ok with that now. We both enjoy a catchup every now and again. I don't have the energy to socialize, but that will change.

Glad you have other friends. Keep the good ones that make you feel happy. 😀

Hi @Flower88. How are you feeling? I recently lost someone I thought was a friend. He has bipolar, plus. I have been separated nearly a year and had been out a few times with another guy. This guy and I had a misunderstanding, and I suddenly realized I wasn't ready to get involved with another guy, anyway. I told my so-called friend who decided I was in the wrong for the misunderstanding. It doesn't matter who's wrong or right, if you're not comfortable in any sort of friendship be it gf/bf or just as a friend with anyone, you need to recognize you're uncomfortable and distance yourself till you feel happier. This other guy I thought was a friend told me I was too 'up and down' and he has no tolerance for people who aren't like him (whatever that means). He did me a favour because I've since realized he simply couldn't accept me as I was. People who are 'true' will always 'be there', if they're not true, they will run for cover and make excuses instead of being honest and telling you they simply don't understand. If they are true, they will listen and make an effort to try to understand. They will do everything they can to learn more. Not many true people in this world. Making cruel and inappropriate remarks is easier than admitting they don't understand. To not understand, to some people, is tantamount to admitting to 'weakness' which also goes 'against the grain'. I feel rather sorry for people who show their ignorance by making cruel remarks.