Gender Crossroads???

I haven't read all of your thread @bipolarbunny but wanted to give you my support on your journey.

I am a gay girl (I can't post the real title cos it wont pass but it is similar to Homer girl. Other people are allowed to call and refer to themselves as 'addicts' or 'cripples' with pride, but for me to say Homer is offensive apparently, so I apologise for my frankness as to my identity, but it is what it is, I didn't ask for it, and it ain't gonna change. I feel it is much easier, in parts of Australia at least, to be a Homer girl, than it is to be trans anywhere on the planet......I feel like conceptions of gender are still very much stuck, and there is so much hate out there, and people feeling threatened.

The 1st Australian Pride Centre just opened in Victoria last week, maybe they have resources that are helpful.

I went to the supermarket and picked up the latest copy of Sydney Star Observer, only to read that the same Lib cow that is my NDIS national Rep has just voted in favour of the anti-trans bill put before parliament, along with Michaelia Cash and my fave poli who is obsessed with all things butts, Mr Mark Latham.....ScoMo hopes to bring in his religous, hateful bill later this year that says we are all gross........any-hoo best of luck for your health, Corny

You are you, who you have always been. That will never change nor should it.

I think the only reason to look deeper into this is if you are looking for a group to be associated with, a heading to put yourself under. But, quite simply you are you ❤️

@M_P90

"I love anything open-minded and non-commital. I think it's about working out your truth and then adding the language onto it."

Couldn't agree more, thank you so much for your support. xx

BB 🐰💙

Hi @Corny thank you so much for your support. It is truly appreciated. It's definitely been a journey of self discovery, but I finally feel free and authentic inside instead of feeling like an imposter which I've done most of my life.
A bigoted, racist, homophobic society is always going to hold issue with non conformists. I've dealt with a tonne of ignorance, judgement, discrimination and stigma in regards to mental illness circles but being opening part of the LGBTIQA+ community is something completely new for me. I'm still learning the language and honestly there's is so much about the queer community I still don't know, but I am learning and seeing where I fit in with it all. But it's an exciting time. I feel like a whole new world has opened up to me. I've had a lot of gay friends in the past and have always admired their confidence and strength in living their truth.
But my MI has kept me from mixing with people for a very long time, so I am keen to mix with other people I can identify with and feel safe and comfortable around again.

As far as politics is concerned it seems to echo the ignorance that society haemorrhages in this country. Which is extremely sad.

I am very keen to visit the new Pride Centre in Melbourne it sounds amazing. A day trip to there and the Dax Centre will be definitely happening once lockdown is over.

Thank you again for your support, hope you have a wonderful evening, Take care xx

BB 🐰💙

@Former-Member Thank you my friend. I had this same conversation today with Jeff. As I told him, I have always seemed to have this identity war going on inside me, but since researching all about gender fluidity amongst other things, it's like a "peace treaty" has been etched into my soul and I finally have answers for what I've been feeling all these years. I feel so much more comfortable in my skin, even though I know I haven't changed. I really don't care how the world labels me, they can only ever see me through their own rose coloured glasses. But finally I am discovering who I am and it feels wonderful. Even Jeff said to me today, there's a different energy about you today, I've never seen it before, I said, I know, I think I'm happy. So guess what this week's poetry assignment has become! 😂

Big hugs my friend I hope you are well xx

BB 🐰💙

Even though this is really tough for you right now @bipolarbunny with lots of intense emotions, I think that in some ways your mental illness is gonna make your gender affirmation and possible concurrent sexuality realisation a bit easier than a person who has never experienced discrimination and broad social prejudice. I was way too sick with psychosis in 2016, and scared I'd never come out of it, to get a sense of the people around me in hospital. But when I had 3 admissions in 2019, totalling over 4 months, I met a lot of people and could reflect. I think the fact that I had already been judged and marginalised as a homosexual women before I developed a MI, meant that I had some callouses and toughness that others didn't. They were in denial of their MI and ironically very judging of other people's! because they new that they were in new territory of being a social pariah and talk-back radios favourite flogging post. Because you have already gone through this coming to terms with a life long chronic health condition and all the loneliness, grief and sadness that comes with it, I think that you are half way through the worst of what is to come. And hopefully you can focus on the exciting parts. Exploration makes us feel young again.

If your social isolation due to your MI also means that you are single right now, and not partnered, I think this is actually a bit of a relief. It makes it much less complicated. The only way I could imagine it working in a marriage is if the non-trans partner was Bisexual. Otherwise I think that it would lead to a lot of breakups and broken hearts. Because of my childhood I struggle with male friendships, especially heterosexual males.....which makes me feel bad and guilty, but it just part of the damage and injuries I have suffered.

People flip out at the smallest expression of non gender conformity. I had a shaved head for many years while living in a Farts & Football with their Netball sheila's kinda a town and seriously the way people spoke to me, was such an eye opener. I was like an exotic absurdity to some boofs I bumped up against in the workplace or out in society. But I didn't care.

All the best for this time. I think in this situation being in the digital era is a great thing and you can connect with others not just in Oz, but all over the world. It would be a hoot if you could travel to the US one day and immerse yourself in the LGBTIQ communities over there, just the scale and huge population means lots of diversity, Corny

@Corny I'm really sorry to hear of your struggles. You obviously have great strength, self love and tenacity to have endured the way you have over the years. I really admire and respect that.

I really don't anticipate looking for any romantic attachment personally. I am in fact demisexual another thing I have discovered. Sexual connection just doesn't feel important to me and I enjoy being on my own, but I would still like to connect with people on a friendships level to have some sort of social life so there's that.
I am the opposite to you I guess in that I feel comfortable in the presence of men but feel awkward around a lot of women, I guess cause I feel I have nothing in common with them other than being AFAB. I appreciate people as people, but obviously they have to be the right kind of people.
Besides which there's so many other things going on in my life right now with MI recovery, letting people in IRL is a very scary prospect and will take a lot more work.
For me this whole journey has been about me feeling comfortable finally with who I am. I'm not sure I'm ready to share that any place but here or in session with my therapist. Thanks again for your insight and support. xx

BB 🐰💙

@bipolarbunny thank you for your kind words, You obviously have great strength, self love and tenacity to have endured the way you have over the years. I really admire and respect that.

My Psychiatrist, Dr Kindness also tries to tell me these things, he uses logic, he says, "I should know I have worked in forensics, prisons, the public sector and the private sector, and you are amazing". On a bad day I look at my shoes and cry, but there are days when I pipe back, "THAT'S RIGHT Dr K I AM AMAZING!

Fake it, till we make it @bipolarbunny . Practice in front of the mirror.

You don't have to explain your relationship status, its no ones business. I don't know what 'AFAB' means, but all the best with your journey and all the best for your health, Corny

@Corny Oh sorry, AFAB just means assigned female at birth.

And yes we definitely need to listen to our pdoc & tdoc when they tell us how amazing we are! Have a great day my friend xx

BB 🐰💙