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Great session with psychologist

utopiaSenior Contributor08 Sept 2016, 8:01 pm AEST

Great session with psychologist

@BlueBay @Former-Member @Decadian @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member @Former-Member @TAB & anyone whose name I forgot or who just may be interested.
Had session with my psychologist today. Reflected on what I've learnt and been thinking about re:values and how to recognise those values in others - for friendships, love or work. Discussed how I'm having very little negative self talk and when I do, I'm able to distinguish if it's real - and then I can make changes or if it's false and then I can tell it to bugger off.
Discussed I'm gardening more, seeing friends more, putting myself out more and willing to try more. Also discussed routine getting better but still don't have housekeeping routine but thats probably because I don't enjiy it and can be prone to laziness (part of my personality).
All really goid. He thinks we should now start delaying our appointments further apart - as I'm coping so much better. Slowly ween (whene) me off him. Bit like a baby off a breast.
Weeks ago this would have terrified me.
Today I just feel happy about it. It feels right. And I know if I have a struggle I can't manage myself - he will squeeze in an extra appointment for me.
So all perfectly goid. Just feels right.
Still have to keep doing my exercises relaxation etc. Still need to keep checking I'm on the right track. Still need to work on Judgements (me making judgment as well as others) and my expectations. But I know I can do that. I'm doing it now.
I really hope this posts inspires others and lets them know that life can improve and we can learn how to deal with stress in a safe and healthy way.
♥♥♥♥♥

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In response to: Great session with psychologist

KurraSenior Contributor24 Sept 2016, 7:51 pm AEST

Re: Great session with psychologist

See how the counselor makes you feel. If you feel comfortable speaking to the person it's a good sign that this could be the right person for you.

If you don't get any good feelings after a few appointments then try someone else @heartsonfire1

In response to: Re: Great session with psychologist

AppleblossomSenior Contributor24 Sept 2016, 8:32 pm AEST

Re: Great session with psychologist

Hi @heartsonfire1

My GP asked me what style I preferred .. down to earth .. or gentler ... an earlier GP was very clear about our RIGHT to CHOOSE. Looking on the health search engines also helped me get an idea of what questions I might ask to sort out the best approach with the best person. You might not find someone online ... due to area .. but at least we start being more informed consumers.

@utopia @TAB

I somehow missed your replies ... been flat out ... sorry

@utopia thanks for asking how I have been ... it has been .. my usual .. which is like a yoyo ... I have different periods where I read fiction .. or therapy .. or science ... or nothing... and give the brain a rest.

@TAB Didnt get your German ... but Apfelbrun ? felt affectionate ... I only know the odd word ... I dont even speak Dutch properly ... know Italian better ... was into languages more in my 20s ... but then overwhelmed by the number of langugaes to choose from ... so I take a very broad brushstroke ...but I like the feeling of singing in German and like the concept of a "Sprachbund" ... another spectrum .. linguistic this time.

My father was Australian ... but had no family and didnt live long ... so I only had furrin rellies growing up.

My granndfather on the other hand liked telling stories and so I leanred the meaning of schnell ... and how he outwitted the Germans ... wiring up the tennement block with electricity during the Occupation... or hitching a lift in German lorry whilst escaping from Labour camp ... so did mother ... she smuggled radio in lil brothers pusher under soldiers nose ... very proud of that .. but she also fell in love with blue eyed Willie .. a teenage soldier they had to billet at the end of the war ... they had 3 soldiers in the house who discovered grandfather in the attic with radio listening to Churchill ... but instead of dobbing them in ... they joined him ... listening to broadcasts .. and spoke of how much they wanted the war over and to just go home.

In response to: Great session with psychologist

utopiaSenior Contributor24 Sept 2016, 10:18 pm AEST

Re: Great session with psychologist

@Appleblossom. Been a roller coaster day for me. But ended on a high by going to the movies and watching Bad Moms. Was a total laugh. But a lot of swearing. I needed a good laugh.
What do you do for laughs? My best friend and I sometimes look at our old school photos. Not sure if it's a laugh ir depressing when I look back on my hair styles. Ouch.
Hope your day went well

In response to: Re: Great session with psychologist

AppleblossomSenior Contributor24 Sept 2016, 10:24 pm AEST

Re: Great session with psychologist

I might creep out and go to see Bad Moms ... I have been to 2 movies with a carers group in last 6 months ... it is good for me.

I have been working at getting my son to be less snooty and critical about movies ... he is such a perfectionist ... it comes from his father ... he is learning to relax .. aqnd then we can all have our laughs

Sometimes we go to movies together ... and see separate films ... thats ok too. We dont do it enough

In response to: Great session with psychologist

utopiaSenior Contributor24 Sept 2016, 10:38 pm AEST

Re: Great session with psychologist

@Appleblossom. How great to have a group to go with. Does this group also go out for lunch or other activities?
My little town has 1 cinema - all run by volunteers. Sometimes my son and I will watch the same movie - but being 14 - he goes and sits with his mates. That's okay. We talk about the movie together later.

In response to: Re: Great session with psychologist

AppleblossomSenior Contributor24 Sept 2016, 10:52 pm AEST

Re: Great session with psychologist

Yes they do ... Its Carers Vic .. they may have something on regional closer to you .. I have attended 3 times ... once was a musical .. the 2 movies came with a light lunch which was nice ... I am very slowly easing into it

for all my good advice .. I find it hard to do stuff just for me .. I write it into my diary and then talk myself out of it ... and also ... some of the other carers stories depress me .. and I need to keep my mind positive & strong with hope for my son ... finding what really works for me ...

I had to get some better boundaries with my son before anything much would work .. but things are a lot better than they were a year ago when I first joined forum.

I now ask for respect .. and he agrees .. or apologises ... if he has been rude .. I have my studio back ... where I would leave and jump nervily at his beck and call .. it just gradually evolved that way .. so I had to stop doing that ..and he is getting out more ... its a delicate road ... most important that he knows he is worth love and that life is worth living.

In response to: Great session with psychologist

utopiaSenior Contributor24 Sept 2016, 11:25 pm AEST

Re: Great session with psychologist

@Appleblossom. Yes we are all worthy of love. And life - although a struggle sometimes, is worth living. Sounds like you both have made a lot of progress.
I've had times when I'm flat & I tend not to post or respond to others posts because I have to put me first & there is no energy for anything else. Some posts I glance at and don't respond to. They are out of my experience or too harrowing. But I know others will respond. We don't have to do it all.
My son's and my relationship is slowly getting better also. I've had to learn to ignore what's not important and not stress over little things.But I sstill worry he may be heading towards depression. I just have to keep an eye out.
If you get the chance - do see the movie Bad Moms. It's pretty much about us trying to do our best. But hilarious.

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