Wobbly after Hospital

Hi @Rosemary4

It’s so lovely to hear from you - Happy New Year 💜

Thank you so much for sharing such a beautiful picture with me 💜 I absolutely love the shades of pink and purple that fill the evening sky and the stars are just spectacular 💜

It can be incredibly painful when the people in our lives are unable to accept us for who we are 💜 As I listened to this part of your story, I was really struck by the phrase that you used to describe your experiences, ‘I’m thinking maybe in heaven’ and as such, I just ever so gently wondered if perhaps this reflects the despair and hopelessness that you feel in relation to the possibility of change?

Given everything that’s been happening for you, I can really appreciate how you’ve reached a place in your life where you’ve made the decision to withdraw from those around you and establish some boundaries to protect yourself 💜

I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve had to self-isolate over Christmas and I just ever so gently wondered how are you feeling now? Although, thankfully I haven’t been in a position where I’ve had to self-isolate, it sounds as though it would be an extremely challenging adjustment and it’s no wonder that you feel as though the walls are starting to close in on you 💜

Thank you so much for asking about me 😊 Lately, I’ve been feeling as though I’m on an emotional roller coaster ride and as such, I’m finding some days incredibly challenging and other days a little easier 💜

One of the first plants that I purchased was a jade plant. Initially, I thought that I was doing a wonderful job of taking care of it, as it was growing in leaps and bounds and it’s leaves were a beautiful vibrant green 😊 However, after several weeks, I noticed that it was beginning to wilt and wither and despite my best efforts, I was unable to nurture it back to health.

I also had a cute miniature cactus that lived in a brightly coloured ceramic pot 😊 I’d never owned a cactus before and so I placed it on the window ledge, as I thought that it would enjoy the warmth and sunshine 😊 However, every time I checked on it, I noticed that the soil always appeared to be incredibly dry. I couldn’t bear to think that it was thirsty and so I began to water it a few times a week. In hindsight, I think that I may have killed it with kindness, as I’ve since realised that cactus only need the occasional drink of water - not the large amounts of liquid that I was feeding it 😆

Please know that I’m thinking of you and I look forward to talking with you again soon 💜

Take kind and gentle care of yourself 💜

ShiningStar 💜

Hi @Former-Member - thanks for asking. I'm ok - been up and down but laying in this morning I had this internal sense of calm, race, maybe even happy. Twas nice not to have to drag myself out of bed. I'm not sure why.

How are you going?

@Fifi85 😟@@ what? Where'd you go? Hope you're ok? Sorry to see your 'former member' status 😢 Be well, stay safe 💕

Hi there @Rosemary4 and other forum members reading along,

I'm stopping by to let you know that Fifi85 has decided to leave the forums – it was a decision that Fifi85 made to support their wellbeing, and one that SANE also supports. The door is open for them to return should they wish to in the future.

This might also be a good opportunity to remind the community that SANE actively supports members to make independent decisions regarding their forums account. In line with the SANE strengths based approach to care, we support your independent decisions and work with you to promote your wellbeing.

Change in the forums can be difficult to navigate, so if the news of Fifi85's departure from the community results in emotions that are hard to sit with, please reach out for support to the SANE help centre on 1800 197 263.

Rhye ☘️

Hello @Former-Member , @Rosemary4 , @Appleblossom , @Alicat , @ShiningStar

and others visiting this thread

I am sorry to have become aware of FiFi85's departure. Though I am also aware that Fifi85 had some issues with the site, that certainly did not overshadow FiFi85's other positive and supportive contributions. Many of those contributions, I enjoyed, valued and appreciated.

If you read this FiFi85, Thank You

and

Best Wishes

@HenryX

Thanks for tag and explanation @HenryX

I am sorry for Fifi85's departure too.

Thanks @Former-Member for your post. It can be shocking and unsettling to see that 'former member' label.

@Rosemary4

You were having a nice connection. Hope you are alright.

I was struck by you mentioning you have 3 anniversaries to manage getting through, as well as christmas alone.. I have had about 10 christmases alone, and learned to protect myself from even revealing that in social chitchat, as it would cause a problem.

Getting back into social contact after periods of isolation is very tricky. We do not necessarily want to burden others with our stories, but in order to be fully present some aspect often comes up. Deep experiences are deep parts of our selves.

The other day someone said "suck it up buttercup" and I could quip back quickly ... yes I have sucked up more than most buttercups. I am learning to find words instead of being overwhelmed and silenced.

It is great you are doing good things for yourself and being protective. If people cannot give any empathy at all, then they are not going to be good for friendship. It is also really days to recover from a sibling suicide. Self protection is probablly key.

How's the garden .... I have those plants .... very tough .... need to be managed not to take over, but good staple. I had a weird rain which seemed to damage some rose bush leaves a couple of weeks ago. Nothing too drastic but I noticed it also on leaves of trees. It was weird... or maybe they were spraying in a nearby area ... we live and learn ....

Apple