Introduction

Hi there @Ybother

I am really sorry to hear what you had to go through. I just sent you an email to check in..

From your recent posts, it sounds like you have been receiving great support offline. I'm really glad to hear that
Besides the Forums, if you ever want to have a one-to-one chat with someone please feel free to reach out to our SANE Counselling Support service (Monday to Friday 10am to 10pm AEST) on 1800 18 7263 or webchat.

@Former-Member @Cheers sometimes I think I should just shut up and dig a hole 🤦🏼‍♀️

easier on everyone else

@Ybother

Hi Artist,

I believe, from what you are saying, that your concerns do not relate to anyone here on the forum.

What you are saying is that you actually need to talk about what has happened, to, as you say “get it out”.

Am I correct in understanding that your feelings are so raw that it feels like fire.

I also understand your thoughts about giving “the girls at the Salvation Army the biggest hug”. I know from my own experience that the people in the Salvation Army are more than just helpful, they seem to go even further than would be expected in efforts to assist us.

Those words, about the people around you, are really strong: “underhanded, snide, cowardly, and manipulative.”

Cheers

HenryX

@HenryX

well I don't know what other words to use.
but I felt they were apt.
there are meany nice people, I'm just still in trauma and probably will be for a while I'm afraid.

@Ybother

I would like to echo what @HenryX said, please know that we are all here to support you on the Forums and let this be a safe space for you to share your experiences (within our guidelines) and receive support from peers

@HenryX About the only thing that works is riding my bike. The pain in the legs seams to be easier to deal with

@Former-Member

I just want to de able to actually feel comfortable and safe around people again. It's painful

Yer I'm just not feeling it here anymore. It's rather strange and to be honest annoying now for everyone.

@Ybother

Hi Artist

The words you use, refer to your feelings and beliefs. I understand, when you use strong words, such as “underhanded, snide, cowardly, and manipulative.” I would certainly not suggest anything else, when those words are all valid when they reflect how you feel.

Something that I am pleased about, is that you also feel comfortable acknowledging that “there are many nice people” around. The Salvation Army girls are a very prominent example.

Also that you are recognising the effects of the traumatic events that you have experienced. Those feelings, and the physical expression of feelings, take time to deal with. I believe that we can deal with the effects of trauma and traumatic events, and by doing so, we become stronger. That journey, however, is not always pleasant, in fact, as most of us know, it can be quite difficult.

I am at present working at dealing with the effects of loss and grief. The reason for my feelings really will not, and cannot change – I cannot go back in time to change those events. But I can deal with my feelings, and how I use those feelings to bring good into my life, and hopefully share that journey with others as well.

Peonies { @Former-Member } has said “please know that we are all here to support you on the Forums and let this be a safe space for you to share your experiences (within our guidelines) and receive support from peers”. Those peers are all people who, while they might each have had different experiences, have often felt the same ways that you and I have felt at various times. They and we are each at different stages in our 'journeys'. But we all want to give and receive support, comfort and positive affirmation to each other.

Riding my bicycle is one thing that I should be doing more of. Exercise not only gives us a distraction from other mental or physical pain, it can help us to deal better with our situation. So I am not surprised that riding your bike has positive effects for you, even if it is mainly apparent in the distraction of feeling the pain in your legs.

My strongest and fondest wish for you is to find a way of being “able to actually feel comfortable and safe around people again.”

I certainly hope that we on the forum can assist you in achieving that goal.

With Best Wishes

HenryX

@HenryX

I think that's everyone's wishes, that actually care.

I certainly know that I'm sick of feeling like crap.

every thing that people are doing to try to make me feel better, actually seams to exacerbate the problem.

I don't know how I can say without offending anyone, that I just feel like a prisoner.
that every thing is just a manipulated situation.

Imagine if you will, that everything around you is 100% manipulated, and that every where you go, someone is reporting to someone where you are.

that every time you walk down the street, someone just has to say something off cuff, thinking that there helping, or that there opinion is actually wanted.

I'm not sure where to go from here, but when everyone feels like your biggest enemy, even though you know that it's not in its entirety a reality. Life is like a cruel and sick joke.

to be honest right now, if I had the choice, I would be riding up some insanely hard road on my bike, preferably with someone else who is just as stupid as I am.

that way I could share my insanity with someone else, without having to be here in this, apparently sick joke that feels repugnant. Unfortunately more that a few minutes with people, and the detest and distain for past experiences, exudes from every pore of my body.

whilst simultaneously fighting the urge to participate in some Jeffrey dalmoujr type screen play.

I would like to be in my own room at my fathers place.

door closed heater on, candles and incense lit, singing bells playing.

with no one annoying me.