Looking for work and not getting anywhere

@soppykat

Hello Soppykat,

I agree with you, that it is very challenging looking for suitable employment positions, even in the best circumstances. And I can sympathise and empathise with your feelings.

However, this note is not soft and cuddly.

Often, when I am responding to a fairly detailed post and responses, I list the issues, ideas, concerns, positive points and suggestions.

From the material that I separated, I noticed that there were many generalisations, a lot of reasons why you could not get a job, and many of those reasons were actually presented as reasons that you should be “given a job”. However, a lot of things that are given are not worth getting. The things worth getting, we have to work for, and that especially includes a position of any merit, even (possibly especially) part time or casual.

When we go into an interview with preconceived negative ideas about businesses and employers, those people can hardly be blamed for seeing through any image, presented by an applicant, that is supposed to convince them of a more positive view, that in effect does not exist. If you see those people from a negative perspective, that is often the image you will display, consciously or unconsciously.

This is definitely not their fault.

It is you who needs to smile. And preparedness will, I feel sure, alleviate, to a considerable degree, the anxiety. If you are excited about what you have to offer, and what you may learn, you have much less time and opportunity to be anxious.

#The foundation of effective affirmations.#

A good comment!!

"Leave copies of resumes everywhere, {where there is a reasonable chance of the type of position that you would be seeking} with a smile on your face.

Anxiety is challenging. I know this personally.

I challenge myself to push through anxiety."

{quoted from a comment by Sophia1}

In {x} brackets added by me.

Remember also that a business or employer is part of an industry with potential contacts. I have known of placements made by one person knowing of someone else with a position available. But they have to be confident enough, in you, to be comfortable passing on your details.

In your posts, I counted more than twenty-five self defeating statements. If you go into an interview without having done an amount of preparation and research into the business or industry, (and even the process of researching can be interesting); the skills, knowledge, expertise and experience; (as much or as little as that may be) that you have to offer and how you can avoid, or indicate that you have, at least considered, any issues that may arise from whatever disability that you have; then you are totally unprepared. Remember, that time is on your side - you are seeking low hours, so the employer has a chance to view what you can do, and any guidance that you may be prepared to ask for at work, at a reasonably low cost outlay. However, your cost per work hour is sometimes higher than that of a full-time employee. You have to be worth the outlay. Furthermore, It is very difficult for you to work with or for someone, and ask for assistance at work, if you do not like the people specifically, or as part of a group.

I am not suggesting that you be an 'expert' on that business or the industry. However, it is your job to sell yourself (skills, knowledge & experience) and minimise negatives, in such a way, that impresses on the interviewer, that you have qualities that contribute to the goals of the company or business.

There really is no other reason for employing you; or anyone else.

Many people believe that their applications for employment have been declined because of discrimination, in its various guises. While I recognise that, unfortunately, these situations occur, I wouldn't want to work, with or for someone, where that mentality exists. However, it has been my experience as a person close to those with the responsibility of selecting and recruiting prospective employees, that the core reasons, for declined applications, are usually to do with not meeting the criteria that I have stated in the last paragraph. Indeed, there are times when reverse discrimination is expected by a prospective applicant -

"You should employ me because of my disability."

Unfortunately, when selecting a small number of possible employees from a large number of prospective applicants, the recruiting person is not responsible, in any case, for guiding the /ir unsuccessful applicants to a more successful goal. That is the task of your advocate, or the best person you can find for that task. See the closing comments on this note.

If you are seeking a role in administration, or an associated function, you should ensure that any written material offered to a prospective employer has been proof-read by you first, and then someone else, upon whom you can rely for their English language skills and knowledge. If you are successful, you may get to use a dictionary on the job, but that will not suffice for grammar. It would be useful to practice in your posts on this website. I do.

This note, and others that I write, take a good deal of time and attention. I proof-read, correct, adjust and proof-read again. Even then, I return to posts to edit them for further clarity and purpose.

I believe that there have been some false positives offered to you among the responses. These are well meaning, and intended to support you in your attempt to seek employment. However, encouraging you to continue doing the types of things that you are, either doing incorrectly, doing in a blaze of enthusiasm without substance, or even, not doing at all, are all, similarly self defeating and discouraging.

I would recommend that you ask the question,

“Who exactly should I write to about how to find a job?”

or, “From whom should such information be sought?”

The answer to your question,

“Who exactly should I write to about not finding work?”

Is "Anyone!!"

but that will not be the best person to help you to seek employment, increase your knowledge, and otherwise, learn from the experience.

{And please, please do not write to your Member of Parliament with this question.}

I do indeed hope that what I have written will help you, and possibly others, to ask the right questions, of the right people, to provide you with the appropriate information and guidance, that will assist you in gaining the meaningful employment that you are seeking.

With My Very Best Wishes

Toward Success in Achieving Your Goals,

HenryX

CC: @StuF @TideisTurning @Sophia1

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Hi @soppykat

Sorry, meant to reply before now.

Glad I didn't come across too badly! 🙂

But anyway, has today treated you better?

@soppykatExcellent!

hello @soppykat

I would like to let you know that I wrote an epic response to your posts and others.

My efforts were labelled "ticket authenticated"

hmm very helpful

I did not write anything detrimental or damaging. Purely responded further to the ongoing thread.

It appears that some people can write huge lengthy posts, where tone of wording could possibly be misunderstood, yet not picked up as "ticket authenticated"

So rather than cause distress to you @soppykat

as I still strongly believe this is a very important thread where the content affects so many across the broad spectrum of "mental health" and stigma; I shall not write any more.

Sophia who has been served with an authenticated ticket!

Hello @Sophia1 & @soppykat

Sophia1, I am disappointed that you were unable to post your response to others on the thread. I would have been very interested to have read your comments.

If you would care to check my post of the:

"22 Mar 2021 03:10 PM

Re: HenryX' Return to Forum & Ongoing Suggestions"

I have suggested a method of avoiding, what I have referred to in that post as:

“the dreaded "Authentication Ticket Mismatched" demon.”

That reference is early in the post, which is fairly long, so you will not have to read too much of the post to find it.

The post does however, provide a lot of details and suggestions about other ways of presenting information on the forum.

You will, I hope, FWIW, realise from that post, that I have also been the target of:

“the dreaded "Authentication Ticket Mismatched" demon.”

Please be assured that, as far as I know, or am aware, that there was no bias, discretion, favouritism or preferential treatment exercised in selecting one post and not another, it is simply a function of the way that the website has been structured and works. The reason for which I know as little as you presumably do.

However, I sincerely hope that, should you, or anyone else wish to write a detailed response in a thread, I have offered a way to help you do that without falling foul of:

“the dreaded "Authentication Ticket Mismatched" demon.”

I can also assure you, that what I write is seriously and carefully considered by me and, I hope, is neither a waste of my time, nor that of anyone else who cares to read my posts and responses.

If I can offer any other suggestions, I would be happy to assist.

With My Best Wishes

HenryX

Thank you @soppykat

I want to thank you for your thoughtful reply.

I write with passion in a rambling style as the words just fall out of my mind.

I usually write great, lengthy posts as this is the way my mind performs.

I am a very deep person; far too deep for most people.

I have also had much criticism from family, growing up for my depth, my sensitivity, my questioning everything.

I also log off and then think about what I have written; my programmed thinking from way back reminding me that I am "too much".

I believe that you have so much more to offer than you realise. I have also become quite skilled at reading between the lines. An attribute gained from being a strong listener. My voice has a very soft tone and in the majority of outings, I am not heard, listened to and the sensitivity kicks in leaving me feeling so very alone in life.

My twin refers to my ability to express emotions, thoughts, ideas as being different, difficult and on one occasion wallowing in self pity as I wanted to commemorate the 100th birthday of my beloved late father.

This constant checking of what I have written has led me to delete so many posts over my time on the forums. Lately, random appearances.

Covid a word that we all have come to despise has had a great effect on employment.

Please take this into account whilst you are searching for employment.

We are very clever at pointing the finger at ourselves, when life does not behave.

@HenryX

I did feel uncomfortable when I first read your response.

When you replied later to the dreaded ticket authentification thingy; I realised yet again it was my sensitivity, responding to your unique style of writing.

Your post about the ticket thingy brought an instant chuckle when I read that I was not alone.

I have followed many of your posts as a result and reading between the lines (refer above) as you might say, I actually like you.

I realise that this does not matter to you; it does to me though.

You have reminded me of something about myself.

I am very quick to speak up about not judging others.

Yet I have realised, my sensitivity took me to a place where I did that in a subtle way.

I could not possibly write in the format that you described. I am the total opposite as I ramble.

I thank you though for letting me know that I am not alone in being "not authenticated"

Lastly welcome @HenryX I sense that you are going to be of great value on the forums.

ps my best attempt at formatting.

Having spent so long with computers during my working career, I loathe them.

😁

Hi @Sophia1, I just wanted to drop by and say that from my experience, having doubt about things you say is really understandable- in some cases, it's a sign you've gone really deep or been super vulnerable, and that's a daunting and also very brave thing. Just in this one post, I can see the strength in your care, sensitivity and compassion of others. Keep up the great work! 🌺

Hello @soppykat & @Sophia1

Thank you both for your thoughts and comments, and more especially for going to the trouble of reading my comments and those, about the “demon”, to which I referred you. I am also pleased, and smiling, while writing that I am glad that you found the humour in that post, and you can be very much assured that your actions and responses do mean a great deal to me.

I have written elsewhere, that my writing style is fairly formal and I can understand, that viewed from the perspective that many people have, and use today, that style can be somewhat jarring. On the other hand it is the way that I try to avoid misinterpretation.

You have both given me a fair hearing, which I very much appreciate.

It actually matters very much to me

that people can like the personality as I express myself in writing. It may take some getting used to, but I endeavour to write to the person and the topic they have offered for discussion. Indeed, I have enjoyed reading the posts that both of you have written. And feel as though I have come to know each of you better, particularly in the latter posts.

Sometimes, in communication with people on the forum, I genuinely think and feel that I would like to know people, with whom I correspond, more closely and personally. However, recently I have received, and had good reason to feel, lots of really strong expressions of encouragement, support and concern from a range of people on the forum, during tough times. It would have been difficult for those people to have extended those sentiments in a more personal way. So I am happy to have the opportunity that we have to know and care for each other, in the best way that we can.

Thanks to both of you

for the ideas, feelings and sentiments that you have expressed.

With My Very Best Wishes

HenryX

PS. Like you Sophia1, and I am sure, so many others, I will go away and then think, “I should have said....” or “That could have been stated.....” Eventually we just have to present what we offer and believe that our message will be clear to the receiver.

Best Wishes